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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 9, 2011, at 14:26:16
We'll call her T3. She's a little older than I am, much calmer than T2, more like T1, except she has more tools at her disposal (energy work, CBT, EMDR, etc.). I think it went okay. She wanted to focus on my grief rather than do all the normal intake stuff today, which I appreciated. It was not hard exactly, but exhausting. The grief itself is exhausting.
One thing was that she asked me to tell her about my father. I went completely blank, then ended up mostly talking about his work. At the end though I surprised myself by saying, "He would have been a better parent if he had not been married to my mother."
Some of you may remember that she is the abuser in my family and she kept that up during my father's hospital stay the week before he died. She yelled at him constantly, refused pain meds on his behalf and my brothers ultimately stepped in to limit her time with him.
I had not thought before about the parent he would have been without her. I think I'll spend some time writing about that.
Posted by pegasus on March 9, 2011, at 14:58:08
In reply to Met with New, New T Today, posted by TherapyGirl on March 9, 2011, at 14:26:16
She sounds very promising. I'm glad for you. It sounds like it could become a very good move. Hard as it can be to leave a T who isn't working.
When I was searching for a new T, the ones I ended up being most interested in were the ones that could best turn an intake session into something valuable for me. Your new new T sounds like she falls into that category. (Plus offering the free initial session is sure telling, isn't it?)
- P
Posted by annierose on March 9, 2011, at 19:19:28
In reply to Met with New, New T Today, posted by TherapyGirl on March 9, 2011, at 14:26:16
I'm so glad that it went so well for you. You deserve it!! The most important element in therapy, is the intangible ... the way we feel when we are with our therapist ... the way we feel with one another. That is so valuable, more than the degrees plastered on their wall.
Posted by Dinah on March 10, 2011, at 10:12:29
In reply to Met with New, New T Today, posted by TherapyGirl on March 9, 2011, at 14:26:16
That sounds very promising. I too like an older therapist, even if only slightly older (4 years in the case of my therapist), and definitely calm. T2 wasn't calm? Part of what I like best about my therapist is his imperturbability.
I still have bad feelings towards my mother regarding her behavior at the end of Daddy's life. I try to find some compassion for her by thinking how frightened she must have been and how her behavior could have stemmed from that fear. But given some of what she did, that hardly seems adequate. I'm sorry you had a similar experience.
I think it's good that you're thinking of how he would have been without her. I am struck sometimes with the idea of the sacrifice Daddy made in staying with my mother. At one or two points he was ready to move out, but he recognized that realistically speaking that meant leaving us with her. Not only did he not want to lose living with us, but he also didn't want to leave us with her as the only primary parent. Not that he was by any means perfect himself. Far from it. But I think he'd have been happier if he hadn't had to live with my mother. Was your father at work a lot?
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 11, 2011, at 20:34:14
In reply to Re: Met with New, New T Today, posted by pegasus on March 9, 2011, at 14:58:08
I agree, Peg. Already her lesser focus on billing and billables is striking. Plus she just seems more rock solid than T2.
I get to see T1 next week and have dinner with her!
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 11, 2011, at 20:34:46
In reply to Re: Met with New, New T Today, posted by annierose on March 9, 2011, at 19:19:28
Thanks, Annie. And you're right! I hope this one will be a better fit.
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 11, 2011, at 20:36:37
In reply to Re: Met with New, New T Today, posted by Dinah on March 10, 2011, at 10:12:29
We really do have so much in common, don't we? Your mom and mine must have been separated at birth.
T2 wasn't exactly calm or exactly hyper. But she tended to have non-therapist like reactions to things. Like if I was irritated about something, she'd say, "I would totally be pissed off, too. You should tell them off," or something to that effect, rather than calming me down so I could think through the situation better. I think she's just a lightweight and immature. Not a bad person, just not a good fit for me.
This is the end of the thread.
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