![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by annierose on January 3, 2011, at 19:00:36
Background: I used to see my therapist 3x a week. Beginning in about October of '08, I dropped back to twice a week due to insurance and $$ issues. And every once in awhile, I would add a third session - but not on any sort of regular basis.
So in late November of 2010, I was going through a rough patch and added a third appointment. After the appointment, I told my t how helpful that appointment was - and asked to keep this third appointment "at least through December" (is what I recalled I said). My appointment was @ 2:50 but right before the Christmas break, she asked if I could come in @ 1:15 instead.
Today was our first session back. The session itself was going farily well but it was mostly a recap of events and not feelings. When time was up, I asked, "Just to clarify, what time do you have me down for tomorrow, 1:15 or 2:50?" She didn't think I was coming in and scheduled other clients in both time slots. I was hurt but left.
On the drive to work I couldn't help but feel, "What if I never asked and went to my 2:50 appointment time?" I'd be in the VERY small waiting room with another of her clients (it's a solo private practice) and then she would not have "chosen" me (as I wasn't on her schedule) ... oh my goodness. The thought of what "could have" happened is freaking me out. What if that little voice didn't pop into my head?
She sent me a text regretting not talking about the third appointment before Christmas break and offering me the 2:50 time slot next week. No thank you. I didn't want to continue 3x sessions - but did want the third appointment this week as we just came off a break.
I understand how this happened. But I still feel the hurt.
Posted by Anemone on January 3, 2011, at 20:44:28
In reply to dodged a potential humiliating moment, posted by annierose on January 3, 2011, at 19:00:36
Hi annierose,
I am so sorry this happened to you. I can imagine how hurt you feel, maybe you feel like she should've asked you if you wanted a third appointment, instead of assuming you didn't! How scary it would've been if you actually went and waited in the waiting room!
I hope your T realizes what a big deal this is! Don't we all want our T's to be more sensitive to things like this?!
Posted by annierose on January 3, 2011, at 21:19:45
In reply to Re: dodged a potential humiliating moment » annierose, posted by Anemone on January 3, 2011, at 20:44:28
Exactly right!! Since she sent me a text within minutes of me leaving, I imagine she knows she made a huge assumption, but the hurt remains. I was really looking forward to seeing her three times this week.
And now I just want to say "FU" and never go back (that's the 2 year old kicking and screaming). Gosh, I hate being a grown up.
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2011, at 21:52:56
In reply to dodged a potential humiliating moment, posted by annierose on January 3, 2011, at 19:00:36
Understanding and feeling are two different things. I'm glad she seems to understand it did hurt. (I try not to think of the other clients at all if I can possibly help it.)
I had to cancel last week and so we didn't schedule for this week. I just got a text (?!) from him confirming tomorrow's appointment at the regular time. It hadn't even occurred to me that we wouldn't meet. When I read your post I thought how easily I could have shown up tomorrow and not been booked. I suppose it just feels right for our therapists to be there for us at *our* time.
I'm glad you happened to mention it! That would have been awkward at the very least.
Posted by annierose on January 3, 2011, at 22:07:19
In reply to Re: dodged a potential humiliating moment » annierose, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2011, at 21:52:56
I'm surprised at the intensity of my disappointment ... like others mattered more (I know, old stuff).
Our t's surprise us when the text - don't they? I'm glad yours did ... at the very least it was reassuring and happy seeing a text from him.
Posted by emmanuel98 on January 3, 2011, at 22:13:05
In reply to Re: dodged a potential humiliating moment » annierose, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2011, at 21:52:56
I see a DBT therapist and I called to ask her to change the time of our appointment. She changed it, but forgot to call me. So I went at the regular time, only to find she had someone else there. She saw me waiting and called me in first to apologize and offered to see me two hours later, which was fine. When I got there, another patient was leaving. I felt overwhelmed by this --seeing her patients parade in and out. I cried through the whole appointment and couldn't even explain why. Later, I told my p-doc and he said, if you were our only patient, we couldn't afford to pay the rent. Which is true, of course. But it's hard to see it close up. My p-doc has always kept my slot kind of sacrosanct. I don't know if this is on purpose, but I usually am his first appointment of the day and I usually stay a full hour because he has nobody scheduled after me. This isn't always the case, but is usually the case, so I feel bereft when he says, at ten minutes to the hour, we need to stop and find someone sitting in his waiting area.
Posted by annierose on January 4, 2011, at 6:52:03
In reply to Re: dodged a potential humiliating moment, posted by emmanuel98 on January 3, 2011, at 22:13:05
I understand completely how disconcerning seeing their other clients feels. Of course they need to see ppl - but do I have to share a moment in time with them? I liked how your therapist brought you in first and explained what happened.
I can't even imagine how humilated I would have felt if I had gone to my appointment today. I don't think I would have been able to ever return.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.