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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on November 11, 2010, at 14:31:30
so i've been thinking for months (even the good ones) that i should stop seeing T.
not because she's bad, or because of what just happened.
but it seems like when i hear her voice i get triggered and get vulnerable.
i thought all my childhood crap was out and a few sessions ago after i left. i got a F-ing flashback of something else! SOMETHING ELSE for GOD SAKE!
i cant deal with this.
i want to just leave her and deal with pdoc for a while.of course then i feel guilty complaining to him cuz he's seen wars before..horrible things.
i ache inside...but thank goodness gabapentin is numbing me pretty good.
on gaba during day klonipin at night and adderall during day.
hopefully will start pristiq tomorrow maybe?i dont know. i dont know how to deal with that other flashback.
***************and on top of that my one "friend" is a binge drinker and i'm afraid she could die of alcohol poisining (her birthday is tomorrow)..
AND my Other "friend" has to go to court for some sh*t someone accused him of that he didnt do (ad of course no witnesses). and he's my ROCK!!!
i CANT LOOSE HIM!! I CANT!!!!please pray for my friends.
thank you.now i have to hang my head and go see my t again.
God forgive me for how i acted. i deserve whatever i get.b2c
Posted by Dinah on November 12, 2010, at 7:45:38
In reply to drop t or not, posted by B2chica on November 11, 2010, at 14:31:30
Doesn't seem like the time to drop a therapist.
I can understand your being anxious about seeing her again. Let us know how it goes. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts today.
Posted by pegasus on November 12, 2010, at 11:23:39
In reply to drop t or not, posted by B2chica on November 11, 2010, at 14:31:30
I am so sorry about the new flashback. No wonder you are having so much trouble now. I agree with Dinah that maybe this isn't a good time to leave your T, but I can understand why you would think of it. If it seems that new flashbacks are related to hearing her voice, then it must be terrifying to go see her, even if maybe it sometimes also provides some comfort.
Have you told her about this link you've made between her and the flashback? Are you able to tell your pdoc? It sounds like you need to talk this over with someone who can help you manage being triggered. Is there anything we can do to help? Please keep writing if it helps. I'll be thinking about you.
- P
Posted by B2chica on November 12, 2010, at 12:52:17
In reply to Re: drop t or not, posted by pegasus on November 12, 2010, at 11:23:39
so i saw her yesterday.
i First apologized for my "drunk' behavior. she told me things i did and things she was glad i did.
i did tell her about the new flashbacks (she mentioned this was not a good time to go into them)
apparently my pdoc was supposed to show that day and both of them decide whats best.
she mentioned hospital...God what would that be like my 15 F-inf visit.
they dont do anything except speed up med work.
which i guess wouldnt be bad.anyway.
i see pdoc tonight (since he missed yesterday...although i will mention that T was Furious that he missed but later found out that he was out of work sick, but STILL txt her to ask what time..she just missed that...so ...."good pdoc".i need to tel pdoc tonight about different flashback and how to cope.
Most of all i NEED to stay away from alcohol.
it really scared her, she thought i was going to go right through her window. apparently i was hitting it with all my might....to wishfully go through it.
(d*mn three ply glass anyway).ok. so drugged up still on gabapentin, adderall, and klonipin at night. and i still cant eat. lost about 13lbs. good cuz i was chunky from baby weight, but not the wya i planned to loose it.
if you dont hear back from me monday, they ganged up and put me in the "unit" again.
thanks you all
love
b2c.
Posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2010, at 13:01:15
In reply to Re: drop t or not, posted by B2chica on November 12, 2010, at 12:52:17
Please try to post. Phillipa
Posted by sassyfrancesca on November 16, 2010, at 8:34:51
In reply to drop t or not, posted by B2chica on November 11, 2010, at 14:31:30
((((B2Chica)): So good to see you here; it has been awhile since I've posted.
What is it you did that you think you "deserve whatever you get?"
Still in love with my after 7 years; i could write a book. Actually, I have...a poetry book, Sanctuary of the Soul (poems of anguish, healing, hope, comfort and celebration."
Love, Sassy
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