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drop t or not

Posted by B2chica on November 11, 2010, at 14:31:30

so i've been thinking for months (even the good ones) that i should stop seeing T.
not because she's bad, or because of what just happened.
but it seems like when i hear her voice i get triggered and get vulnerable.
i thought all my childhood crap was out and a few sessions ago after i left. i got a F-ing flashback of something else! SOMETHING ELSE for GOD SAKE!
i cant deal with this.
i want to just leave her and deal with pdoc for a while.

of course then i feel guilty complaining to him cuz he's seen wars before..horrible things.

i ache inside...but thank goodness gabapentin is numbing me pretty good.

on gaba during day klonipin at night and adderall during day.
hopefully will start pristiq tomorrow maybe?

i dont know. i dont know how to deal with that other flashback.
***************

and on top of that my one "friend" is a binge drinker and i'm afraid she could die of alcohol poisining (her birthday is tomorrow)..
AND my Other "friend" has to go to court for some sh*t someone accused him of that he didnt do (ad of course no witnesses). and he's my ROCK!!!
i CANT LOOSE HIM!! I CANT!!!!

please pray for my friends.
thank you.

now i have to hang my head and go see my t again.
God forgive me for how i acted. i deserve whatever i get.

b2c


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:B2chica thread:969788
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/969788.html