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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on February 11, 2010, at 10:22:08
I was saying that perhaps I'm saner than I always think of myself as being.
He nodded with approval, and said he's always thought of me as neurotic.
I think I'm supposed to see that as a compliment. :)
Posted by annierose on February 11, 2010, at 11:28:03
In reply to My therapist says I'm neurotic, posted by Dinah on February 11, 2010, at 10:22:08
I think you are much saner than you give yourself credit for ... wiser too. You are very much tuned in to both your emotional and physical state and that is a good thing.
I wanted to send you my CONGRATS too. The game was awesome!!
And yes, your t did mean that as a compliement.
This reminded me of a button I saw, "You say I'm a b*tch like it's a bad thing."
Posted by Dinah on February 11, 2010, at 12:00:11
In reply to Re: My therapist says I'm neurotic, posted by annierose on February 11, 2010, at 11:28:03
:)
Thank you, Annierose.
My therapist gives the most interesting compliments.
I got a bit teary on the game that put the Saints into the Superbowl. I guess because it was here and that victory lap meant so much to fans who were so faithful for so many years of some pretty awful football. I've never been one of the faithful, but I know so many who were. Towards the end of the game my son was begging us "Please don't cry if they win!" I told him I wasn't likely to cry, and he said he didn't mean me, he meant Dad. :)
Some of the schools gave the kids the day off Tuesday so they could go to that humongous parade they threw in honor of the returning champions. It was, literally, awesome to see so many New Orleanians getting together like that. Not that I did, thank heavens. We offered the chance to my son, but he's not all that crazy about tight packed crowds either.
(And I did get a bit teary when Drew Brees picked up his baby son and teared up himself. But my husband turned to my son and said "Do you remember when I played on the team that won the Superbowl when you were one, and I held you up like that?" which made us all laugh and kept me from upsetting my son by - gasp! - actual tears.)
Posted by 64bowtie on February 12, 2010, at 2:53:33
In reply to My therapist says I'm neurotic, posted by Dinah on February 11, 2010, at 10:22:08
» Dinah »
Therapists that evaluate with judgmentalisms, keep you coming back for validation... I could make a guess with strong statistical confidence that both you and I have spent significant time behaving dysfunctionally... Dysfunction is a collection, or a suite, of behaviors driven by "BAD HABITS" with destructive or "rotten" outcomes and results... Does that enkindle in you the desire to please me, such that you continue to contact me and share your best behaviors??? Naahhh!!! So, why do shrinks get away with it???
Also, does the broad label, "neurotic", fixate you on spending your hard earned cash to get her implied salvation endorsement eventially???
Posted by 64bowtie on February 12, 2010, at 2:58:32
In reply to My therapist says I'm neurotic, posted by Dinah on February 11, 2010, at 10:22:08
Posted by fleeting flutterby on February 12, 2010, at 14:47:54
In reply to My therapist says I'm neurotic, posted by Dinah on February 11, 2010, at 10:22:08
> I was saying that perhaps I'm saner than I always think of myself as being.<<
----Flutterby: I think you are very sane. I believe you to be quite introspective.
>
> He nodded with approval, and said he's always thought of me as neurotic.<<----flutterby: good thing you're NOT me-- I'd have been so so offended by that comment--- VERY sexist thing to hear! ugh.. Such a word is never used towards men. argh! just because women, generally are more emotional, we are labeled "neurotic" ick! makes my anxiety bubble over! (oopss!.... *blushing* sorry Dinah.... will quietly sneak out now....) wish I could be more like you-- so calm and not offended........ *sigh*.......
>
> I think I'm supposed to see that as a compliment. :)
>---flutterby: best to you....
Posted by rnny on February 12, 2010, at 19:11:31
In reply to My therapist says I'm neurotic, posted by Dinah on February 11, 2010, at 10:22:08
Was he serious?
Posted by Sigismund on February 12, 2010, at 19:20:11
In reply to My therapist says I'm neurotic, posted by Dinah on February 11, 2010, at 10:22:08
It's not such a bad old fashioned thing to be, is it?
I like neurasthenia myself.
The advantage of terms like these is that there is no pretense (any more) to being scientific.
Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2010, at 19:45:55
In reply to Re: My therapist says I'm neurotic, posted by 64bowtie on February 12, 2010, at 2:53:33
Thank you, Rod. :)
But you mistake my therapy relationship. I'm well aware that my therapist doesn't think badly of me. I sometimes worry that he thinks more of me than he ought. He'd laugh himself silly at the thought of my trying to please him. Mind you, I do get the impulse at times, but I make sure to fight it.
Honestly, he didn't mean it as an insult, and I didn't take it as an insult. Tho I did find it hilarious, as I often find the bare words of what happens in therapy hilarious. The bare words sound so awful a lot of the time. It's the overlays that render them unoffensive, and sometimes pleasing.
Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2010, at 19:51:05
In reply to Re: My therapist says I'm neurotic » Dinah, posted by fleeting flutterby on February 12, 2010, at 14:47:54
Thank you, fleeting flutterby. (I have always loved your name!)
The funny thing is that while my therapist says things that ought to be horribly offensive, in practice they really aren't. They're just honest and speak to the level of trust we both have in the relationship.
But this time, it really wasn't all that offensive. In context, I was talking about being sane, and he was agreeing that I was indeed sane, that he always considered me more neurotic. He's old enough that I think he used that term as meaning not psychotic, in the old neurotic/borderline/psychotic sense that has fallen out of usage.
It just sounds funny when it is said out loud.
Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2010, at 19:54:23
In reply to Re: My therapist says I'm neurotic, posted by rnny on February 12, 2010, at 19:11:31
Oh yes.
But as I explained to fleeting flutterby, I assume he meant it in the clinical, though now obsolete, sense. In that I was indeed sane and not thought disordered. Not in the more everyday sense of the word.
Although I must confess that I am neurotic in every sense of the word...
Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2010, at 19:56:24
In reply to Re: My therapist says I'm neurotic, posted by Sigismund on February 12, 2010, at 19:20:11
I do like that one. What does neurasthenia mean? Is it "having the nervous system of an overly inbred cocker spaniel"?
Because I'm still waiting for that one to be added to the DSM. Obviously there is a biological basis, since dogs with hair trigger nervous systems get them from genetics as well as from environment.
Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2010, at 20:14:18
In reply to Re: My therapist says I'm neurotic » Dinah, posted by fleeting flutterby on February 12, 2010, at 14:47:54
I have to be honest and admit that I'm almost never calm, and am easily offended. I probably assume that offense was meant even when there was no intent. I'm as sensitive to criticism or abandonment as anyone. I do try to keep that in mind, and step back when I feel unloved and insulted. So that I don't actually make myself unloved and the object of insult by unwarranted sulking. I don't always succeed. :(
I was very upset today because my therapist saw my description of stupid therapy exercises as a jibe at him. Not that he was offended. He just acknowledged a hit. But it wasn't meant as a jibe at him. It was meant at a jibe at stupid therapy exercises, and intended as something we could agree to disagree about in a friendly manner. Perhaps neither of us were at our tip top best today.
Sometimes even things that are funny continue to sting a bit. Like the person who saw a picture of me when I was in my early twenties and said "Hey! You used to be pretty!" And there is a bit of an ouch to a conversation my therapist and I once had about the relative temptations of my income stream vs. my adoration.
But this one, no. I'm pretty sure he didn't mean it in a bad way. And he'd be the first to say he's neurotic too. He's not shy about using the term with men. :)
Posted by Sigismund on February 12, 2010, at 20:39:40
In reply to Re: My therapist says I'm neurotic » Sigismund, posted by Dinah on February 12, 2010, at 19:56:24
As I recall from an Aldous Huxley novel from years ago, neurasthenia manifests by much lying down and the feeling that not even tea will save you.
Which surprised me even then. Perhaps tea was a stand in for something stronger and then available.
Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2010, at 21:37:22
In reply to Re: My therapist says I'm neurotic » Dinah, posted by Sigismund on February 12, 2010, at 20:39:40
Hey! It looks good!
From Wikipedia:
"One contemporary opinion of neurasthenia is that it was actually dysautonomia, an "imbalance" of the autonomic nervous system."
But only with comorbid anxiety neurosis. I insist on anxiety neurosis. :)
Posted by rnny on February 12, 2010, at 22:12:39
In reply to Re: My therapist says I'm neurotic » rnny, posted by Dinah on February 12, 2010, at 19:54:23
Well, I am sorry but I disagree with him using that term. I have read your posts and even if you see yourself as neurotic, I don't. I am not in favor of labeling people with psychiatric terms. There is something called the "labeling theory". Dr. Bob and anyone who has taken psych courses would know about it. You label someone something and they will live up to your expectations. I think he sounds rude and lacking in judgement on this one thing. I may be wrong but that is my reaction with the basic information I have. I am fat. I went to a doctor once for a sleep disorder which I hvae and my obesity contributes to it. When he walked into the treatment room before he said anything his first words were, "there are two of you!". That was rude and condescending. And I don't think telling a psych patient they are "neurotic" is beneficial in any way or furthers their growth. Besides, that term is so outdated! Tell him you thought about what he said and you have decided it takes one to know one but coming form his tiny mind, you are going to let it go in one ear and out the other.
Posted by Dinah on February 13, 2010, at 11:16:36
In reply to Re: My therapist says I'm neurotic, posted by rnny on February 12, 2010, at 22:12:39
Your sleep doctor was definitely rude. I think I'd have left crying if someone did that to me. My sleep doctor mentions that I should lose weight (and exercise more), but he never makes fun. I think your doctor is in the wrong business. He's bound to run into overweight people.
If I hadn't been aware of what he meant by neurotic (non-psychotic, no thought disorder), I'd have likely been upset. I think he takes for granted that I'm familiar with psych terms. Since that one *is* out of date, it might be possible that I would have misunderstood. But if I did, I'd have asked him why he said that, and what he meant. If you have a trusting relationship with someone and they say something that hurts you, don't you generally give them the benefit of the doubt and ask what they meant? It would be as if your old therapist, who you trusted, said it - rather than it being like your new therapist saying it. You have no basis of trust with your new therapist.
I'm not sure I'm all that good at living up to labels either. My therapist once told me that he thought I was strong enough to do something, and as it turns out he was wrong. The thing that bothered me was that I thought I'd disappoint him because his expectations of me were higher.
Once I understood the context, I wasn't bothered by his statement, although I did think it was amusing. But if I hadn't understood it, I'd have more likely been upset that he thought I was "merely" neurotic. I might have asked whether it was right of me to see him so often if I'm just neurotic. But in context, since I was speaking of being sane, and neurotic can mean "not thought disordered", i.e. "sane", I could hardly be angry with him for agreeing.
I've got no problem with politely standing up for myself when someone means offense. And sometimes I admit that I feel hurt by what someone said even when they doesn't mean any offense. But I don't see any benefit to me to reacting with anger to someone who meant no offense.
Posted by Sigismund on February 13, 2010, at 17:21:37
In reply to Re: My therapist says I'm neurotic » Sigismund, posted by Dinah on February 12, 2010, at 21:37:22
I could get a diagnosis for Aspergers (no good drugs) but comorbid OCD and ADHD is also interesting and the drug treatments more promising.
I know that TS Eliot's wife Vivian had a hormonal disorder causing embarrassment with the sheets in hotels.
Her doctors diagnosed 'moral insanity' and perhaps prescribed the morphine and ether she took.
This is the end of the thread.
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