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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by annierose on January 28, 2010, at 14:21:16
okay ... so today is my last session before my therapist's vacation. and once she returns, i will see her for a week and then my family takes a vacation (to a nice sunny place near the ocean!!).
so i was especially quiet, not having much to say, not wanting to say much due to the circumstances.
my t would normally ask me general ice breaker questions that annoy me, such as, "what are you thinking about?" or "what's on your mind?"
but today she said, "are you and me having a conversation in your head that i should know about?"
i almost laughed out loud --- she gets me.
Posted by TherapyGirl on January 28, 2010, at 18:24:26
In reply to a therapy smile moment, posted by annierose on January 28, 2010, at 14:21:16
LOVE that. I would probably like your T, Annie.
Posted by Dinah on January 28, 2010, at 19:28:47
In reply to a therapy smile moment, posted by annierose on January 28, 2010, at 14:21:16
A very insightful therapist!
And one who obviously understands you. :)
Posted by Daisym on February 2, 2010, at 1:27:36
In reply to Re: a therapy smile moment » annierose, posted by Dinah on January 28, 2010, at 19:28:47
LOL - but aren't you just a little tempted to "do" her voice for her? I've always wanted to sit in his chair and make him be me. The other day I said, "can you say more about that?" and then I snickered.
One of the great things about long term therapy are the "inside" jokes that bond you. We have a growing list of "therapy tools" that we have invented - or things we think should exist. I'm fairly stuck right now - "constipated" he said. So he warned me that he may be forced to get out the therapy castor-oil. I told him if only we had a ticker-tape system across the forehead, I wouldn't need to figure out what to say. He would be able to read it.
:0 Thanks for sharing.
Posted by annierose on February 3, 2010, at 10:42:51
In reply to Re: a therapy smile moment, posted by Daisym on February 2, 2010, at 1:27:36
today i was missing therapy a bit ... and i forgot what i wrote about my last therapy session and forgot about the tiny smirk.
i'm so glad i re-read my post and read everyone's comments ... i'm in a good place again.
i don't know where this thought fits in my feelings, but i feel sometimes the love gets in the way of the work. i need to explore that more.
Posted by Daisym on February 3, 2010, at 19:31:56
In reply to Re: funny, posted by annierose on February 3, 2010, at 10:42:51
I get that. I think when you care deeply, you also worry about judgement. So it gets harder to reveal yourself because this person now matters a great deal and you are risking the relationship. But you wouldn't have the urge to reveal yourself unless there was a deep connection - so this is truly a rock and a hard place.
I think it is a lot like my circle of "I need you" and "I hate that you let me need you." It would be easier if he wasn't so open to all my needs because then I could squelch them. Instead, being open to them, without always meeting them, allows them to exist in a consistently painful way. And yet, the ones that are getting met make all the difference.
One thing I noticed is that my therapist is now "risking" with me too. He says things that 2 years ago he would never have said - pushes me but also reveals himself, his feelings and his thoughts. And digs into the dark places but also offers himself as the salve. I know he is still wary of certain things (like the word fantasy - "what is your fantasy about that?" use to make me crazy) but more and more he risks the rift to get us where we need to go. I guess he is confident I'm not going just quit or that I'm strong enough to think and feel things.
What is it that you think the love is getting in the way of? (sorry, bad grammar)
Posted by annierose on February 3, 2010, at 21:12:31
In reply to Re: funny » annierose, posted by Daisym on February 3, 2010, at 19:31:56
I think there is a lot of feelings behind this thought --- so much there that it's hard to wrap my head around it and put words to the thoughts/feelings. They are fleeting
One thought: Love gets in the way of me revealing myself, of being who I am because I'm afraid when she sees who I really am, she will see the ugliness and/or the truth.
I said something similar to my T, she asked me what I was thinking, I said, "I'm deciding if I love you or hate you." She laughed and said, "maybe both?"
The absence of on-going therapy lets my mind wander.
Posted by workinprogress on February 5, 2010, at 0:18:46
In reply to Re: funny » annierose, posted by Daisym on February 3, 2010, at 19:31:56
Daisy,
I'd love to hear more about this... don't want to hijack annie's thread... but I'm curious about how your therapist risks more with you now?
Also, what needs are you getting met and what ones aren't getting met? There's a lot here that's really intriguing to me and I'm really curious about. I've entered a new stage in therapy. Something clicked in the last month or so and I've had the courage to cut off my filter. That stuff that used to flit through my head and I didn't share... I now share. It's VERY hard and scary, but it's been very good for us.
I've been seeing her three times a week, which now that I'm over freaking out about, I really enjoy. It's harder though, because as my therapist said, we're really slowing things down and looking at things in much more detail. Starting at a deeper layer, which means we hit layers we haven't ever seen before. Good.. but hard.
Anyway, given this new phase, I'm curious about your deepening relationship with your T. Or maybe it's not deepening, but it's been that way... regardless, I'm moving in that direction. It feels good, but it's scary too!
If you're willing to share more, I'd love to hear.
WIP
Posted by workinprogress on February 5, 2010, at 0:27:24
In reply to a therapy smile moment, posted by annierose on January 28, 2010, at 14:21:16
And Annie.
Thank your for sharing!
What a lovely moment. I thought of it today when I was stuck in my head struggling to turn off my filter. I would have liked for my T to have said that... would have broken the ice.
This is the end of the thread.
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