Posted by Daisym on February 3, 2010, at 19:31:56
In reply to Re: funny, posted by annierose on February 3, 2010, at 10:42:51
I get that. I think when you care deeply, you also worry about judgement. So it gets harder to reveal yourself because this person now matters a great deal and you are risking the relationship. But you wouldn't have the urge to reveal yourself unless there was a deep connection - so this is truly a rock and a hard place.
I think it is a lot like my circle of "I need you" and "I hate that you let me need you." It would be easier if he wasn't so open to all my needs because then I could squelch them. Instead, being open to them, without always meeting them, allows them to exist in a consistently painful way. And yet, the ones that are getting met make all the difference.
One thing I noticed is that my therapist is now "risking" with me too. He says things that 2 years ago he would never have said - pushes me but also reveals himself, his feelings and his thoughts. And digs into the dark places but also offers himself as the salve. I know he is still wary of certain things (like the word fantasy - "what is your fantasy about that?" use to make me crazy) but more and more he risks the rift to get us where we need to go. I guess he is confident I'm not going just quit or that I'm strong enough to think and feel things.
What is it that you think the love is getting in the way of? (sorry, bad grammar)
poster:Daisym
thread:935232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100128/msgs/935883.html