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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tetrix on November 22, 2009, at 17:53:09
Has your T ever left dead flowers in their office?
She had them live and beatiful the week before and didnt bother to remove them a week after.
I felt a little offended, as if she didnt have the time to clean up, as if she doesnt have the time for me. And besides why would a therapist have dead flowers in their office? A symbol of despair and sadness. It didnt bother me at first, but it bothers me now. It kinda bothers me a lot. Am I overreacting?
Posted by emilyp on November 22, 2009, at 20:10:39
In reply to in the office, posted by tetrix on November 22, 2009, at 17:53:09
I think you have to remember that therapists are people first. Haven't you ever been so busy that you have not had time to do the dishes, clean up or get rid of dead flowers? I know it has happened to me on more than one occasion. And think about it, it is not that she does not have time for just you - all of her other patients see it too. It is more that she simply does not have time for herself. I would suggest giving her a break.
Posted by emmanuel98 on November 22, 2009, at 20:23:25
In reply to in the office, posted by tetrix on November 22, 2009, at 17:53:09
Something to talk about in therapy.
Posted by tetrix on November 22, 2009, at 23:40:45
In reply to Re: in the office, posted by emilyp on November 22, 2009, at 20:10:39
Thats what I thought at first but I have noticed that lately my T makes herself unavailable to me. I think that I might be to difficult of a case for her and we cant make progress. I think she is frustrated.
I also read that one of the big no no's in a good therapist's office are dead flowers. So I was wondering if she was sending me unconcious messages
Posted by IntendedMispelling on November 22, 2009, at 23:59:08
In reply to Re: in the office emilyp, posted by tetrix on November 22, 2009, at 23:40:45
This is one of the fundamental binds of therapy.
No, you can't make your therapists unprofessional behavior an object of discussion like a previous poster suggested.
You can't look to your therapist for trustworthy advice as to the general wisdom of doing therapy with that person.
You really have to think for yourself on a matter like that and trust your own ability to make an intelligent judgement.
I think once you realize that an intelligent decision regarding whether or not you should stay with this therapist is in YOUR hands not someone else's the choice will be obvious.
Posted by lingonberry on November 23, 2009, at 2:43:42
In reply to in the office, posted by tetrix on November 22, 2009, at 17:53:09
Hi tetrix,What else can I say. I think youre right!
Check out Part 2. http://www.myshrink.com/counseling-articles.php?art_id=16
Lingonberry
(Yeah, thin pancakes with lingonberry. Yum-yum)
> Has your T ever left dead flowers in their office?
>
> She had them live and beatiful the week before and didnt bother to remove them a week after.
>
> I felt a little offended, as if she didnt have the time to clean up, as if she doesnt have the time for me. And besides why would a therapist have dead flowers in their office? A symbol of despair and sadness. It didnt bother me at first, but it bothers me now. It kinda bothers me a lot. Am I overreacting?
Posted by lingonberry on November 23, 2009, at 2:50:24
In reply to Re: in the office tetrix, posted by lingonberry on November 23, 2009, at 2:43:42
Sorry, 8. Being tuned out. Part 2
Posted by IntendedMispelling on November 23, 2009, at 3:37:34
In reply to Re: in the office tetrix » lingonberry, posted by lingonberry on November 23, 2009, at 2:50:24
Wow there you have it tetrix. Validation from a professional that dead flowers are less than professional and symbols of hopelessness and despair.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
From Top Ten Signs of a Wonky Therapist
By Dr. Suzanne LaCombe:
The therapist keeps lifeless plants and flowers in the office (so you can resonate with a feeling of despair and hopelessness?).Talk about a checked out therapist. Think about this...you're in the office for one hour, she's with these dead plants all day long.
How can she possibly resource you into a place of abundance if she doesn't twig to the lack of life surrounding her? Huh.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>LaCombe sounds like an awfully genuine therapist.
Posted by lingonberry on November 23, 2009, at 6:00:53
In reply to Re: in the office tetrix, posted by IntendedMispelling on November 23, 2009, at 3:37:34
IntendedMispelling,
I´m not suprised, and correct me if Im wrong, but you sound just a little too sarcastic. If you werent, sorry I misinterpreted.
> Wow there you have it tetrix. Validation from a professional that dead flowers are less than professional and symbols of hopelessness and despair.
>
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> From Top Ten Signs of a Wonky Therapist
> By Dr. Suzanne LaCombe:
> The therapist keeps lifeless plants and flowers in the office (so you can resonate with a feeling of despair and hopelessness?).
>
> Talk about a checked out therapist. Think about this...you're in the office for one hour, she's with these dead plants all day long.
>
> How can she possibly resource you into a place of abundance if she doesn't twig to the lack of life surrounding her? Huh.
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>
> LaCombe sounds like an awfully genuine therapist.
Posted by IntendedMispelling on November 23, 2009, at 8:27:28
In reply to Re: in the office tetrix, posted by lingonberry on November 23, 2009, at 6:00:53
I wasn't being sarcastic at all. What do you mean not surprised? (humor?) Maybe this is a case where honesty sounds like sarcasm because straightforward utterances are used so frequently in sarcastic cultures (like the one were in) to mock others.
I wrote that because I sensed that tetrix was having validation issues. And when you have a therapist who isn't really helping you then you have to trust yourself.
You can't rely on the therapist to say, "oh no, I'm not a liar, I'm here to help you."
On the other hand sometimes its still nice when your perceptions are validated. Such as in this case where the question of dead flowers literally made a top ten list of signs of a bad therapist.
I have my own style but I assure you it has nothing to do with sarcasm.
Posted by lingonberry on November 23, 2009, at 10:14:51
In reply to Re: in the office tetrix, posted by IntendedMispelling on November 23, 2009, at 8:27:28
> I wasn't being sarcastic at all. What do you mean not surprised? (humor?) Maybe this is a case where honesty sounds like sarcasm because straightforward utterances are used so frequently in sarcastic cultures (like the one were in) to mock others.
I think you hit the nail on the head.
> I wrote that because I sensed that tetrix was having validation issues. And when you have a therapist who isn't really helping you then you have to trust yourself.
I thought so too. I thought you (tetrix) really nailed it, using almost the exact words too.
> You can't rely on the therapist to say, "oh no, I'm not a liar, I'm here to help you."
Or what about; "Youre absolutely right. Im a liar. I´m lying once in a while." (smile) This is exactly why I had trust issues with my T. There was a time when I couldnt trust myself, neither my T. I felt really trapped.
> On the other hand sometimes its still nice when your perceptions are validated. Such as in this case where the question of dead flowers literally made a top ten list of signs of a bad therapist.
One part of me thinks (like emilyp said) therapists are just like everyone else, human. But sometimes we have to look for more than one sign before we me make any decisions. The problem is that increased anxiety in therapy can be a good sign, that "it" works, and therefore evoke anxiety. If thats the case, the flower issues can be an unconscious way out of a well functioning therapy. But, it can also be the other way round. And it is (IMO) very frightening to open the door to the past and most clients are struggling longing for intimacy, trying to reach out to the world, and on the other hand we have this internal bad objects striving for status quo. It can be a little bit tricky.
> I have my own style but I assure you it has nothing to do with sarcasm.Your style is nice. Im sorry if I offended you. It was not my intention all.
Lingonberry
Posted by tetrix on November 23, 2009, at 14:17:28
In reply to Re: in the office tetrix » IntendedMispelling, posted by lingonberry on November 23, 2009, at 10:14:51
that I have invested emotionally in someone who doesnt take the therapuetic process as seriously as I do.
Thanks for your replys.. feeling pretty depressed now
Posted by Sigismund on November 24, 2009, at 18:54:10
In reply to Re: in the office tetrix, posted by IntendedMispelling on November 23, 2009, at 8:27:28
Sarcastic cultures?
[As opposed to (say) cruel ones.]
I'm all ears.
Posted by rnny on December 14, 2009, at 23:49:03
In reply to in the office, posted by tetrix on November 22, 2009, at 17:53:09
I disagree with one of the posters here..alot! I think you CAN and SHOULD make the T's unprofessional conduct a topic of discussion in therapy!
This is the end of the thread.
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