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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by deerock on November 17, 2009, at 13:04:28
hi there, i have a question. if you get into a discussion with your therapist about paying for therapy, say it takes 25 minutes, half a session. its a logistics discussion. how much can you pay, what you will pay, what is reasonable, etc.
do you pay your therapist for the time you spend discussing this? i assume the common answer is yes.
but lawyers will not charge you for a consult during the time they spend talking about their fees, etc. and therapy that is paid for should be spent doing therapy, not discussing money.
im tempted to ask for time outside of our regular session to discuss these issues but i have a feeling that common practice is to discuss this while you are in session with your therapist and paying them for their time.
curious if others have thoughts on this or experience with it or maybe even have had the same feeling that "why should i pay this person to talk to me about how much im paying them.."
Posted by tetrix on November 17, 2009, at 15:26:41
In reply to paying for therapy, posted by deerock on November 17, 2009, at 13:04:28
my T charges 110$ per hour and she told me about the fees in the first session, it took only few minutes.
Why would it take so long to discuss the fees unless you are working on some sort of agreement?I guess in this case I would call her or email her in advance so we dont waste any time on that.
But I see your point and if this happens during the session I would stress the time restriction and would ask to discuss it in the last few minutes of the session
Posted by Cecilia on November 17, 2009, at 19:07:37
In reply to paying for therapy, posted by deerock on November 17, 2009, at 13:04:28
Therapists see everything as an issue. They don't see talking about money the way most people do, in terms of whether you can still eat and pay rent and go to therapy; they see it as whether you feel you deserve therapy or whether you have power issues with the T or whether your desire to withhold money from the T is related to your childhood toilet training. Cecilia
Posted by deerock on November 17, 2009, at 19:12:16
In reply to Re: paying for therapy, posted by Cecilia on November 17, 2009, at 19:07:37
so they dont use common sense, is that what youre saying? if i lose my ability to pay my rent and go into debt to make ends meet but i feel that i deserve therapy, then im doing great?
makes it sound like a religion.
Posted by BayLeaf on November 17, 2009, at 19:56:08
In reply to Re: paying for therapy » Cecilia, posted by deerock on November 17, 2009, at 19:12:16
imho, one should not go into debt to pay for therapy, unless you are borderline suicidal.
your T may be afraid to say this for fear that it may sound like "i don't love you" - but in fact it actually means, I love you!
debt is horridly stressful and can make life suck.
Posted by Cecilia on November 17, 2009, at 23:04:13
In reply to Re: paying for therapy » Cecilia, posted by deerock on November 17, 2009, at 19:12:16
Exactly, therapy IS a lot like a religion. Or maybe more like an addiction. Common sense definitely doesn't enter into it. Once they get you hooked your T is the center of your universe. Doesn't matter how much it costs or whether it's helping. I went for 7 years with zero benefit until my T dumped me. Cecilia
Posted by deerock on November 17, 2009, at 23:09:38
In reply to Re: paying for therapy » deerock, posted by Cecilia on November 17, 2009, at 23:04:13
LOL. i understand. glad you get a benefit once the T dumped you. take care.
Posted by Cecilia on November 18, 2009, at 1:52:46
In reply to Re: paying for therapy » Cecilia, posted by deerock on November 17, 2009, at 23:09:38
Guess I said that wrong. Definitely no benefit when my T dumped me. It was by far the most hurtful devastating experience of my entire life. For T's I guess it's about the money or the power, for the vulnerable people they're dealing with it's their whole life. Cecilia
Posted by deerock on November 18, 2009, at 7:34:44
In reply to Re: paying for therapy » deerock, posted by Cecilia on November 18, 2009, at 1:52:46
wow cecilia. im sorry i laughed. why did you T dump you? you dont have to get into it if you prefer not to. i dont know if its about money for these T's. why would anyone go into this profession if they cared about money so much? you know?
Posted by softheprairie on November 18, 2009, at 14:48:55
In reply to paying for therapy, posted by deerock on November 17, 2009, at 13:04:28
> hi there, i have a question. if you get into a discussion with your therapist about paying for therapy, say it takes 25 minutes, half a session. its a logistics discussion. how much can you pay, what you will pay, what is reasonable, etc.
>
> do you pay your therapist for the time you spend discussing this? i assume the common answer is yes.
>
> but lawyers will not charge you for a consult during the time they spend talking about their fees, etc. and therapy that is paid for should be spent doing therapy, not discussing money.
>
> im tempted to ask for time outside of our regular session to discuss these issues but i have a feeling that common practice is to discuss this while you are in session with your therapist and paying them for their time.
>
> curious if others have thoughts on this or experience with it or maybe even have had the same feeling that "why should i pay this person to talk to me about how much im paying them.."
>Even though it sucks, I feel obliged to follow the norms for the therapy industry, which, I agree, are probably not the norms for the legal field.
I have been very embarassed to talk about money in therapy, which is especially bad when a lot of my overall depression, stress, and suicidal ideation was about money. Also, my feelings about my therapist had to do with money and my jealousy of him, or feeling like he didn't care about me if he didn't offer me a lower copay. I have gotten better at talking about money over the years, but I still don't talk about how I think about him and money.
Here are some books that interest me. So far, I haven't gotten them, due to...money, lol. Maybe I will buy them, sometime. (They aren't in my area libraries' collections, and I have been too embarassed to use interlibrary loan, since I used to work at the library and personally know the people who do interlibrary loan in my geographical area.)
The target audience is therapists, so I'm not sure how practical these books are for clients, but I do get the feeling from them that I'm not alone in stress over money & therapy.
"The Last Taboo: Money as Symbol & Reality in Psychotherapy & Psychoanalysis" edited by Krueger, 1986.
"Money Matters: The Fee in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis" by Herron and Welt, 1992.
This third one I did check out around four or five years ago; it was in the collection of my local library. "For Love or Money: The Fee in Feminist Therapy" edited by Hill and Kaschak, 2000.
Posted by softheprairie on November 18, 2009, at 14:52:28
In reply to Re: paying for therapy » deerock, posted by softheprairie on November 18, 2009, at 14:48:55
Note -- I did use the double-double quotes, but Amazon didn't have direct links, so they didn't show as a hyperlink. If you go the long way and type these titles in at Amazon, they do have a listing for each of these; I checked this last night.
This is the end of the thread.
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