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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 14:03:11
I had a really bad session. I told her everything. Skipping midterm, skipping classes, not doing a thing. She said there isn't anything to help me. There is no hope for me. She said she is very disappointed in me. There are NO meds that can help me. She has given all the therapy and skills that she can give. There simply is nothing more to be done.
Please help. I'm feeling very very hopeless right now. Please help me see a future.
Posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 14:55:49
In reply to Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP!, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 14:03:11
I just wanted to be clear on that. I don't want to scare anyone. I feel hopeless, but logically I know I am not hopeless.
I'd be a complete hypocrite if I tried to hurt myself after helping out Impermanence.
I called the mental health crisis line. It was moderately helpful.
I know I am going to be OK. Bad thoughts are just that, thoughts.
I AM going to get through this. I can feel the distress fading already.
Posted by elizabeth31 on October 28, 2009, at 17:51:36
In reply to Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP!, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 14:03:11
Hey, i just wanted to write you and tell you to hang in there-i know it doesn't help much but i care and am here to help encourage you if you're having a bad day :) Reading your post was interesting because it sounded like a conversation between friends/family rather than an objective therapist listening to you relate your expereinces. Maybe you can appreciate to some degree her 'dissapointment' in you shows how much she cares and has high epxectations for you to succeed. She is human afterall and probably struggles at times with seeing you as 'just her client' too.
Do you feel like talking about whats going on recently regarding your skipping things and not filling obligations? School is so stressful and tends to bring out the worst in everyone at times we're under pressure...so i can totally relate. Just try to pick up where you left off and figure out what you have to do to retake things and get back on track. It's not the end of the world. Most teachers will be totally understanding of your situation if you simply explain and will help work things out-life happens and situations occur...its all good. don't lose your passion for life:) *smile*
Posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 18:48:08
In reply to Re: I am NOT going to hurt myself, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 14:55:49
I'm sorry if I don't reply. I'm having a really hard time right now. I called the crisis line again. Everything is falling apart around me. My pdoc has lost hope for me, Babble is falling apart, I'm failing my classes. I'm losing all hope and I'm very confused.
The bubble has burst and there is no where to hide.
Posted by jane d on October 28, 2009, at 19:01:34
In reply to Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP!, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 14:03:11
> .... She said there isn't anything to help me.
and
>... She has given all the therapy and skills that she can give.
You do realize that those are two very different statements. The first is ridiculous, the second is possible but I think you already know that. You have, after all, been playing with the idea of consulting someone else.
It also sounds like you are interpreting even the statement that she has done all she can as if she were saying "I've done all I can and it hasn't done any good and that must reflect on you".
Perhaps she was really trying to say "I've worked with you, you've learned what I can teach you and you've come an awful long way, but you want (or need) to go further, so it's time to learn from someone else."
That certainly sounds closer to the truth to me.
Jane
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on October 28, 2009, at 20:42:33
In reply to Re: Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP! » Deneb, posted by jane d on October 28, 2009, at 19:01:34
Sorry you are feeling so lousy. I thought of a few things while reading your post:
1. You need to clairfy w/ pdoc what she meant. Perhaps there is some misunderstanding.
2. Even if that is what she meant, she is just one person. A different T might feel differently.
3. Pdocs generally receive very little training in psychotherapy. Their specialty is rx'ing meds. A psychologist might be better trained to help you. If she feels she cannot help you any more, that isn't so much a reflection on you, as a reflection on her training. Give some serious thought to whether it is time to move on to a new T. It's painful to move on when you admire/respect/love who you are working with, but think about it, talk about it, post about it.
4. Weren't you recently posting about reducing the frequency of your sessions because you were doing so well? I wonder how that fits in? Perhaps some of this regression is a reaction to reducing frequency of sessions. The solution may be to increase session frequency, but it also may be that isn't what you need. Perhaps your recent reactions (skipping exams, etc.) are a sort of "acting out" to show your pdoc that you can't survive without her. Just a shot in the dark, but worth considering.
Take care of yourself. Remember that you are a valuable person that deserves to be happy.
Best,
EEP.S. In the interest of full disclosure, I AM a psychologist, so I probably am a little biased toward psychologists as therapists. But I do know something about the amount of training that psychologists recieve in conducting therapy compared to pdocs.
Posted by Buckeye Fan on October 29, 2009, at 6:55:17
In reply to Re: Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP!, posted by Emily Elizabeth on October 28, 2009, at 20:42:33
So true EE.....Pdocs dispense the Meds, and psychologists I have encountered are much better at talk therapy and showing empathy.
As hard as I am sure it is....sounds like it is time to move on to a different therapist
BF
Posted by Phillipa on October 29, 2009, at 12:31:48
In reply to Re: Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP!, posted by Buckeye Fan on October 29, 2009, at 6:55:17
I so do not like to go against the majority in this thread but I so liked it when my pdocs used to take the 50 hour and do theraphy also we worked well together. This was ages ago so maybe they were also trained in theraphy.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on October 29, 2009, at 14:11:41
In reply to Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP!, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 14:03:11
> I had a really bad session. I told her everything. Skipping midterm, skipping classes, not doing a thing. She said there isn't anything to help me.
She doesn't sound very qualified.
There is no hope for me. That is sad and ridiculous...as long as we are ALIVE there is hope.
She said she is very disappointed in me.
She judged you. It is not for HER to be disappointed by you. That was a shaming and blaming thing. UNtherapeutic.
There are NO meds that can help me. She has given all the therapy and skills that she can give. There simply is nothing more to be done.
Then she should refer you to someone who CAN help you. She sounds unskilled and UNprofessional.
>
> Please help. I'm feeling very very hopeless right now. Please help me see a future.There IS a future, and you get to decide what it is, and no one else!
>
>
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on October 29, 2009, at 21:07:49
In reply to Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP!, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 14:03:11
Deneb, you okay? You haven't responded to our posts and that's unlike you. I know you are struggling. I hope you are managing.
Best,
EE
Posted by Nadezda on October 30, 2009, at 8:12:52
In reply to Re: Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP!, posted by Emily Elizabeth on October 29, 2009, at 21:07:49
Hi, Deneb.
I'm so sorry that your pdoc reacted as she did. I really agree with what others have said: you need someone with more and deeper training in doing psychotherapy than your pdoc seems to be. I know she's incredibly important to you and that you love and depend on her, and have seen her for years.
It's going to seem as if things are falling apart--but THEY AREN'T.
This is a very turbulent time in your life, and here on babble-- a convergence that is very difficult-- I know-- but I very much hope and wish that you can hold onto the good thoughts that you were having--for example, just the other night about your astronomy group. There is so much that you can do!
Some lives take a different path-- some people find themselves in unusual ways-- and find their way back to the beaten path by unexpected means. I know you can do this. If college and studies are what's right for you-- you'll find your way to them. And you will find a different and perhaps more attuned therapist-- who can see how much hope there is for you.
I've never thought there was no hope for you! Where there's life, there's hope-- and I do really mean this-- even if it is a cliche. You are a very alive, real, dynamic person-- and there's absolutely no reason to give up on you. It would be criminal to say that there's no hope for you.
Maybe your pdoc realistically feels, as Emily Elizabeth and others have said, that she's reached the end of what she personally is trained and able to teach and guide you with. But that doesn't mean that YOU are without promise and a good future.
Yes, I know this is a very hard time-- but what' s happening is not your fault. Yes, school has not gone well-- but sometimes people aren't ready, aren't able. It isn't your fault. I had terrible trouble getting through college-- but I've gone on to get a PhD. Trouble in college doesn't prevent you from achieving whatever you want. In time. And what's happening here is not necessarily the end of babble-- or of Dr Bob. He'll be okay. You can be okay, too. We all can cope with this loss-- and with what the future brings.
You've always been constructive at heart.. I know there are times when you've struggled with things here-- but you always remain helpful and open. And those are great strengths and sources of hope.
So try to take it very slow. I hope you're taking care of yourself-- that you're in a place where you're okay-- and that you'll try to remember that even thought things look bleak and feel as if they're falling apart-- they aren't. We all can hold together.
Nadezda
Posted by Deneb on October 30, 2009, at 15:02:46
In reply to Try to remember that there is hope--Deneb, posted by Nadezda on October 30, 2009, at 8:12:52
Thank you for all your kind and hopeful posts. They are helping me a lot. I almost became a hypocrite today.
Please give me hope. Please tell me Babble is not falling apart.
Posted by Angela2 on October 30, 2009, at 16:29:39
In reply to Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP!, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2009, at 14:03:11
Deneb, breaking habits is hard. Don't let your pdoc get you down.
I wonder if you should reexamine what it is you want in life? If it really is to get a degree, be patient with yourself, I know you will get there.
I am sorry your pdoc made you feel like there is no hope, can you talk anymore about the session here? If not I understand.
Posted by Angela2 on October 30, 2009, at 16:56:08
In reply to Re: Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP!, posted by Angela2 on October 30, 2009, at 16:29:39
I just noticed that you wrote that your pdoc said she is "disappointed" in you.
Wow..that probably made you feel awful. I just want to say...I am sorry that she said that and made you feel bad. That is not cool :(
(((((deneb)))))
Posted by Deneb on October 30, 2009, at 21:24:48
In reply to Re: Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP!, posted by Angela2 on October 30, 2009, at 16:56:08
I'm still feeling kind of unstable. I have a bad feeling in my stomach. I am safe though, people are around me.
Posted by Deneb on October 31, 2009, at 20:50:07
In reply to Re: Pdoc has lost hope for me HELP!, posted by Deneb on October 30, 2009, at 21:24:48
Please send me safe thoughts.
Posted by seldomseen on November 1, 2009, at 5:47:46
In reply to Re: I've been triggered again, posted by Deneb on October 31, 2009, at 20:50:07
I'm sending you safe and peaceful thoughts right now. You will be okay. These are only feelings, just feelings,nothing you can't handle.
Peace
Seldom
Posted by Deneb on November 1, 2009, at 11:38:46
In reply to Re: I've been triggered again » Deneb, posted by seldomseen on November 1, 2009, at 5:47:46
I've been unstable, but I think I am getting better. Thanks for all your well wishes.
I am starting to think about my hair again and that is hopeful. I have coconut oil in my hair.
I'd been crying myself to sleep every night, but last night I didn't cry.
Posted by Nadezda on November 1, 2009, at 13:28:02
In reply to Re: I've been triggered again, posted by Deneb on October 31, 2009, at 20:50:07
I'm sending you peaceful and safe thoughts, Deneb.
I'm also sending them to myself.
The situation on babble is very difficult for all of us. I hope you can remember that everyone here has good intentions, and is acting in the best spirit that they can to make this a better place-- of if not babble, then their world as they conceive it. Most of us value this place and want it to succeed, even if we have different visions of how it needs to be.
Babble will not disappear; and even if we lose people, Deneb-- and I"m not saying that you are or will-- we can grow beyond that, and keep them with us, in our minds-- But don't think that this will necessarily happen. Turmoil sometimes strengthens a relationship-- or a place. Let's hope that happens here.
But most importantly, remember that whatever does happen here, you can keep the connections that matter to you-- and also find new ones, that can also matter. It's so important for us to remember that we aren't falling apart-- even if a place isn't as stable as we would wish-- or even if bad feelings surface at a moment.
Nadezda
Posted by Deneb on November 1, 2009, at 13:50:46
In reply to Re: I've been triggered again, posted by Nadezda on November 1, 2009, at 13:28:02
Thanks Nadezda.
I'll sent whatever good thoughts I can to you too.
The situation is hard on everyone. I hope people can feel safe on Babble again with the new changes Dr. Bob just made.
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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