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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Voce on September 30, 2009, at 21:18:43
It's been a loooong time since I've been here. Not since 2005. And yet today I feel a need to post, strange isn't it?
The weather in my state turned abruptly to fall (we plummeted about 25 degrees overnight) and my husband and I of 3 years are having some marital angst and I'm looking into finding a marital counselor for us. I believe this is all part of what triggered me now.
I'm no stranger to therapy. When I was 20 I started therapy with a wonderful T who helped me so much. Unfortunately the transference was overwhelming and hard to handle. I loved him so much. Our termination was messy and horrible. He made lots of promises that he could not keep. Even today I cannot decide if I would be happy to see him or not if I ran into him on the street.
But honestly, I had not given him serious thought for several years. And suddenly this week I am thrown back to all those feelings of pain, and longing, and missing him so, so much.
I looked at the calendar last night and realized it was 6 years this week that we started working together. Somehow my mind and body knew that and is grieving again....a little.
I was reading through old Babble posts yesterday and I want to thank the dear Babblers who came alongside me and helped me, and supported me with their words and thoughts. I'm glad to see some of you are still around here.
You know, I found my old T on facebook this week. He hasn't set his profile to private, isn't that strange? There are a few pictures. He looks as handsome as ever, and his children and wife are beautiful just as I imagined them to be. Part of me wants to write to him and say hello, but I won't. Now is not the time to do that. Even though I desperately want to hear his voice, the time is not right.
So I ask myself and God, will the time ever be right again?
I don't know, but it feels right to share it with all of you.
Posted by onceupon on September 30, 2009, at 22:49:39
In reply to 6 years, posted by Voce on September 30, 2009, at 21:18:43
Hi Voce,
I don't recall you from before, not that that means much. I've been around very intermittently for years and years.
Just wanted to say that I've been there with the grief. You sound as if you've come to terms with it in some ways, and of course, in others, not so much. Such is the nature of it, huh?
A quick question: How do you imagine you'll know when the time is right to say hello? Or maybe that's too cerebral; sounds like your body is maybe pretty attuned with these things. Perhaps that will be your best guide?
Posted by 10derHeart on September 30, 2009, at 22:52:36
In reply to 6 years, posted by Voce on September 30, 2009, at 21:18:43
Voce!! wowowowowow
I sent you a Babblemail!!!!!!!!!!!!
:-) <<<<<<<< 10derHeart is smiling
Posted by Dinah on October 1, 2009, at 17:49:57
In reply to 6 years, posted by Voce on September 30, 2009, at 21:18:43
Hi! Good to see you again!
It seems perfectly reasonable that those triggers would cause you to remember something that was so helpful and so destructive in your life.
I wonder why therapists don't think enough to set their profiles to private? I'm anxious about things like that and I'm not a therapist. It's hard to believe they don't think.
Posted by Voce on October 2, 2009, at 10:57:55
In reply to Re: 6 years, posted by onceupon on September 30, 2009, at 22:49:39
<A quick question: How do you imagine you'll know when the time is right to say hello? Or maybe that's too cerebral; sounds like your body is maybe pretty attuned with these things. Perhaps that will be your best guide?>
I have dreamed about it and written stories about it, but I don't know. I hope desperately that I WILL see him again. I have a lot of anger towards him, but also a lot of love, and a lot of affection and gratefulness.
So, my sense is that it would have to be a divine intervention sort of thing. Or perhaps my body and mind will just "know" when the time is right.
My biggest fear is for me to write to him and be rejected. I just couldn't take that at all.
Posted by Voce on October 2, 2009, at 10:58:43
In reply to Re: 6 years » Voce, posted by 10derHeart on September 30, 2009, at 22:52:36
So wonderful to see you my dear friend!!
I will have to reply soon when I get a moment.
:-)
Posted by Voce on October 2, 2009, at 11:00:50
In reply to Re: 6 years, posted by Dinah on October 1, 2009, at 17:49:57
Hello Dinah. So glad to see you.
My sense is that my ex-T is not very "facebook savvy". I saw his wife's profile but hers was set to private, and she's unsearchable on the facebook site, so she seems to have a clue.
I have a feeling that in this age of facebook, these issues are going to come up more and more for clients, and that therapists are going to have to be really, really careful or inflict damage in their treatment.
This is the end of the thread.
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