Posted by Voce on September 30, 2009, at 21:18:43
It's been a loooong time since I've been here. Not since 2005. And yet today I feel a need to post, strange isn't it?
The weather in my state turned abruptly to fall (we plummeted about 25 degrees overnight) and my husband and I of 3 years are having some marital angst and I'm looking into finding a marital counselor for us. I believe this is all part of what triggered me now.
I'm no stranger to therapy. When I was 20 I started therapy with a wonderful T who helped me so much. Unfortunately the transference was overwhelming and hard to handle. I loved him so much. Our termination was messy and horrible. He made lots of promises that he could not keep. Even today I cannot decide if I would be happy to see him or not if I ran into him on the street.
But honestly, I had not given him serious thought for several years. And suddenly this week I am thrown back to all those feelings of pain, and longing, and missing him so, so much.
I looked at the calendar last night and realized it was 6 years this week that we started working together. Somehow my mind and body knew that and is grieving again....a little.
I was reading through old Babble posts yesterday and I want to thank the dear Babblers who came alongside me and helped me, and supported me with their words and thoughts. I'm glad to see some of you are still around here.
You know, I found my old T on facebook this week. He hasn't set his profile to private, isn't that strange? There are a few pictures. He looks as handsome as ever, and his children and wife are beautiful just as I imagined them to be. Part of me wants to write to him and say hello, but I won't. Now is not the time to do that. Even though I desperately want to hear his voice, the time is not right.
So I ask myself and God, will the time ever be right again?
I don't know, but it feels right to share it with all of you.
poster:Voce
thread:919204
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090907/msgs/919204.html