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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by hyperfocus on July 26, 2009, at 22:03:10
A good cry is very therapeutic. It seems to me that as I slowly uncover a lot of painful stuff, I gain the ability to cry about certain things.
But there are some very painful memories that I find I can't cry about. No matter how bad I feel and as much as they dominate my thoughts I just can't work myself up to cry about these things.
I don't know why this is. I cried about other stuff, like when my grandmother died and I couldn't attend her funeral. But these memories seem 'stuck' like I want to cry but I can't get the process fully underway.
I struggle with issues of self-esteem and self-worth . Most of these memories have to do with shame and humiliation by other people. I don't know if I'm ashamed to cry about these things or if I blame myself and feel like well I acted stupidly and I deserve what I got. Seems like crying requires two poles - one that places you in the 'right' and another where things are definitely 'wrong'. In other words to cry you have to be convinced that you did not deserve these things.
Maybe my problem is that I am unable as yet to forgive myself for these things.
I know you guys aren't professionals but just wanted to hear your opinion on this and I seem to discover new things as I write them down.
Posted by friesandcoke on July 27, 2009, at 13:25:11
In reply to Why can't I cry, posted by hyperfocus on July 26, 2009, at 22:03:10
well, i hate cliches but here goes one. undoing the damage that has been done to use is like peeling an onion. you may be close to the pain of the things you want to cry about, but haven't reached that depth right now. if you are like me, you may have several issues on your plate and so you are mourning or griving over all of those at once, hence the one thing you want to cry over is not being given all your focus. give it time. as you talk things out and begin to cover each thing in detail, you will reach that point where you can tap into how you felt during that painful time. hugs.
Posted by Sigismund on July 27, 2009, at 19:44:14
In reply to Re: Why can't I cry, posted by friesandcoke on July 27, 2009, at 13:25:11
There's different kinds of crying.
The one that takes my attention is weeping, because of the melting feeling and the disinterestedness of it, as opposed to crying where there is more ego investment.The suffering of humiliation clearly offends one's sense of self, but maybe the sense of self is not the best foundation for the melting of weeping?
Posted by Maxime on July 28, 2009, at 20:30:48
In reply to Why can't I cry, posted by hyperfocus on July 26, 2009, at 22:03:10
Are you on any meds? I find that certain anti-depressants stop me from being able to cry even if I am feeling very sad.
Posted by SLS on July 29, 2009, at 5:14:54
In reply to Re: Why can't I cry, posted by Maxime on July 28, 2009, at 20:30:48
> Are you on any meds? I find that certain anti-depressants stop me from being able to cry even if I am feeling very sad.
I think this is also a consequence of an anergic, mind numbing depression, especially if psychomotor retardation is present. I think one needs a certain amount of activation to be able to cry. There have been times when I was too depressed to cry.
- Scott
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