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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on June 15, 2009, at 0:43:35
it's from the little marijuana binge I just went on.
it's like I know I am in my body, but I feel disconnected from it, and I got some pretty intense deja vu today
so, the thing is I've naturally got to tell pdoc when I talk with him right?
and I already told T that I used once.
I feel like a disappointment though.
I know I am not thinking as clearly as I could right now, I'm kind of foggy, but it'll pass if I give it a chance.
one of the worst things though is that when I smoke a lot I can't stay connected in therapy. I feel so apathetic, there's nothing to talk about, I'm not really there. and in general I just start living in my own little world, even more than I might anyway. The demands of reality don't agree with such a state, and therein lies the problem.
I've got no reason for posting this, except I suppose to clarify things.
Posted by backseatdriver on June 15, 2009, at 9:08:20
In reply to I'm feeling a little 'out of it' (sub abuse trigg), posted by obsidian on June 15, 2009, at 0:43:35
You don't have to tell, Obsidian. You're free to have secrets, even from your T, and to make your own decisions. What matters is how you make the experience meaningful *for you*.
Yours,
BSD
Posted by Phillipa on June 15, 2009, at 10:39:50
In reply to Re: I'm feeling a little 'out of it' (sub abuse tr, posted by backseatdriver on June 15, 2009, at 9:08:20
If I don't tell pdoc or do what they say I feel guilty. That's just me. Phillipa
Posted by FindingMyDesire on June 16, 2009, at 1:06:36
In reply to I'm feeling a little 'out of it' (sub abuse trigg), posted by obsidian on June 15, 2009, at 0:43:35
Posted by obsidian on June 16, 2009, at 11:21:00
In reply to Re: I'm feeling a little 'out of it' (sub abuse tr, posted by backseatdriver on June 15, 2009, at 9:08:20
thank you :-)
I appreciate what you said,
sid
Posted by obsidian on June 16, 2009, at 11:21:29
In reply to Re: I'm feeling a little 'out of it' (sub abuse tr, posted by Phillipa on June 15, 2009, at 10:39:50
yeah, me too
thanks,
sid
Posted by obsidian on June 16, 2009, at 11:31:21
In reply to Checking in Sid - How are you? (nm), posted by FindingMyDesire on June 16, 2009, at 1:06:36
awww..thanks for asking :-)
I'm getting better. I did tell T and pdoc because I had an appt with pdoc and I had to call T about scheduling.
there's parts of being disconnected that I like
I feel like I just "floated" through a lot of my day yesterday. I've been in my body, but not completely.
pdoc has been very supportive, kind of like, well, that's not good for you...
T told me that he's going away next week, won't see him this week or next week, just as well, I suppose while I get my head together. I kind of wish he would do something else, now mind you, I don't know what. My reasons for not smoking pot is that I smoke too much of it, don't handle my responsibilities, walk around like a zombie and don't connect in therapy or anywhere else. Is that a good enough reason to stop? I don't know. The truth of course is that it is only up to me.
thanks again,
sid :-)
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