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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by garnet71 on April 8, 2009, at 14:48:42
Is it normal to have reoccurring fantasies to escape from reality? I always fantasize I live in Belize. Well, the scene changes day by day. Sometimes I have a quaint bed and breakfast type hotel that i run during tourist season, and live there too.
Today my house had no screens-I had those wooden shutters on the windows. I was wearing one of those long gauze like cotton skirts and a bikini top and had a tatoo on the back of my left shoulder and my hair was braided in 2 of those side braids (lol). For some reason that Oasis song Wonder Wall was on the radio. I was really tan and I didn't care about wrinkles and all. Well I'm always really tan in the fantasies. I had on a seashell anklet and no shoes.
So I was outside watering my garden - it was sunny and breezy. There were sheets hanging out to dry on a clothesline. I didn't decide whether or not I had a clothes dryer, or if I just liked the ocean air scent on my sheets. Some little kids from the neighborhood were about to walk by my yard, so I hid behind the sheets and when they passed, I jumped out and squirted them with the garden hose and they started laughing and shrieking and running around.
Is this normal to think about stuff like this all the time? I mean extended fantasies that pop in your head from day to day?
Posted by raisinb on April 8, 2009, at 21:28:32
In reply to What do you guys fantasize about?, posted by garnet71 on April 8, 2009, at 14:48:42
Well, I don't know if it's normal. But I know I definitely do it when I'm distressed. My long fantasies usually involve getting shot or otherwise badly hurt so that I can just give up and deserve unconditional caring from others.
As I say all the time, nobody ever said I didn't have issues :)
Posted by onceupon on April 9, 2009, at 10:34:59
In reply to Re: What do you guys fantasize about? » garnet71, posted by raisinb on April 8, 2009, at 21:28:32
I have these kinds of fantasies too, raisin. It's a nice refuge sometimes.
Posted by garnet71 on April 9, 2009, at 10:38:56
In reply to Re: What do you guys fantasize about? » garnet71, posted by raisinb on April 8, 2009, at 21:28:32
Hi Raisinb!
You know, it seems most everyone has some sort of issues...even the most seemingly functional, healthy people - if you get to know them better - they too reveal dysfunction and issues...it's really suprising at times what's under the surface.
I have met so many people who appear perfectly mentally healthy - then after getting to know them, having intimate discussions, surprising things emerge.
If you tend to reveal your own shortcomings (like I do) to people, they always, almost always, open up and reveal their own. People you'd least expect. There's something about human nature-- desire for connection, intimacy--that facilitates this.
Sorry your fantasies aren't positive :(( Not that mine would be considered so. I happen to have them in my car alot. What is it with me and driving? I also get anxiety attacks in my car.
I'd be interesting in hearing if other people have fantasies. Or are they just called daydreams? Maybe I'm just a chronic daydreamer.
Yeah, Raisin, don't think you have more issues than anyone else :-)
Oh--and some people's issues are so obvious -like angry people, mean people, etc., while others manifest more subtly...or in passive agressive ways..hidden..doesn't mean some have more than others. If you look beyond the surface, it's very evident. Well, I tend to be a chronic observor of human behavior. Maybe I should have majored in psychology. lol
Posted by Kath on April 10, 2009, at 16:21:13
In reply to What do you guys fantasize about?, posted by garnet71 on April 8, 2009, at 14:48:42
I don't know if it's normal, but it sounds LOVELY. I'd like it if lovely fantasies popped into my mind, rather than worries & anxieties etc.
I (not in a mean way) envy you!!!
(((you))) Kath
Posted by garnet71 on April 11, 2009, at 3:34:10
In reply to Re: What do you guys fantasize about? » garnet71, posted by Kath on April 10, 2009, at 16:21:13
Hey Sunshine ~
Well, I once took this meditation class where we tried out different techniques each class, and one was, and I forget what it's called, creating a safe place in your mind that you could visit in your meditations. At the time, I could not do ANY of them because I was having anxiety attacks or anxiety every day. But now that I think about it - those fantasies are very similar to that technique, though I've always had them.
So the meditation was that you just sit there and create a safe place in your mind. You create all the details and picture yourself walking to it and geez i forget the rest never mind. lol
Well, maybe try this. Start with using the same place all the time, like a little secluded cottage in Normandy or something really aesthetically pleasing and calming. Think of all the senses - for example - feeling the sunlight, seeing Hydrangeas everywhere, hearing the breeze through the trees, etc. Run through each sense for a minute, manifesting serenity. Then go back to the exact same scenerio for a few times--it might be easier if you do the same place, same exact scene all the time. But I never tried it out but twice when I had anxiety, then I forgot about it. But maybe instead of waiting for them to pop in your mind like I do, you could more consciously place them in your mind, then after practice maybe it will come naturally. :-)
So anyway I thought everyone fantasized about stuff, I mean aside from sex.
Posted by Kath on April 13, 2009, at 19:12:52
In reply to Re: What do you guys fantasize about? » Kath, posted by garnet71 on April 11, 2009, at 3:34:10
:-)))) When you call me sunshine I get a big smile on my face!!!! ((you))
Regarding the safe place, I remember once, YEARS ago being led through it somewhere or other!!
Do you think it's better to visualize a place where I've actually been & loved?? Or an imaginary place?
hugs, Kath
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