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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 6, 2009, at 10:12:07
After my t and I talk (if he has a client before me), he sits and writes his notes. I sit on the couch behind him....then he gets up, helps me on with my coat and we leave.
Last week, he just got up and tried to help me on with my coat. I was confused, and said I wasn't ready to put my coat on yet. He said, "I can only be a gentlemen for so long" and abruptly dropped my coat right on the floor!
I was shocked. I asked him that didn't he have notes to write, etc....he did, and sat down and wrote them.
I intend to let him know how DISrespectful and rude that was. I cannot imagine he would do that to anyone else.
Thoughts, comments? Disgust? (LOL)
Hugs, Sassy
Posted by Kath on April 6, 2009, at 10:56:54
In reply to Don't You Think This is WEIRD?!, posted by sassyfrancesca on April 6, 2009, at 10:12:07
I find it LOTS of things:
shocking
weird
rude
unprofessional
immature (sort of tantrum-like)
I feel sad that you are still seeing him, but I am not judging you on it at ALL. (((you)))
I believe that you deserve to have someone who would be NONE of the above.
love, Kath
Posted by Phillipa on April 6, 2009, at 13:12:37
In reply to Re: Don't You Think This is WEIRD?! » sassyfrancesca, posted by Kath on April 6, 2009, at 10:56:54
I do agree with Kath. Sorry Sassy. Love Phillipa
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 6, 2009, at 13:26:36
In reply to Re: Don't You Think This is WEIRD?!, posted by Phillipa on April 6, 2009, at 13:12:37
(((Philippa)): Thanks, sweetie. I intend to let him know it, too!
Sasst
Posted by raisinb on April 6, 2009, at 13:34:33
In reply to Don't You Think This is WEIRD?!, posted by sassyfrancesca on April 6, 2009, at 10:12:07
WHOA. I agree--it's unprofessional and very childish. Had you been having some kind of disagreement with him lately that he took personally (of course, it sounds like your therapist takes *everything* personally!)?
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 6, 2009, at 13:47:04
In reply to Re: Don't You Think This is WEIRD?! » sassyfrancesca, posted by raisinb on April 6, 2009, at 13:34:33
>((Raisin)))) WHOA. I agree--it's unprofessional and very childish. Had you been having some kind of disagreement with him lately that he took personally (of course, it sounds like your therapist takes *everything* personally!)?
I can't think of anything specific, unless he has some unresolved (Ha, Ha, LOL) issues with me, that he isn't aware of.
He was obviously aggravated that I didn't want to put my coat on, and I was confused as to why he was trying to get me to put it on, seeing that it was not time to go yet!
yes, I am sure he takes everything personally, LOL, LOL
He allowed our situation to become a personal relationship.
Hugs, Rossal
Posted by fleeting flutterby on April 6, 2009, at 16:39:21
In reply to Don't You Think This is WEIRD?!, posted by sassyfrancesca on April 6, 2009, at 10:12:07
I agree with all that Kath said.
But also-- now, this is me talking-- so take it with a grain of salt please... (I feel there is a motive to everything a person does)....
It seems to me that he is also "testing" you to see how much crap you're willing to accept from him. He is your "dream" guy, isn't he? A lot of times "dream guys or gals" will push the limits to see how much crap the enamored one will accept, so then they can see how much(or, if not at all) a doormat someone is going to be. (not that you are a doormat-- but maybe he hopes for you to be one some day soon) I hope for your sake you won't take such behavior from anyone-- I hope that you let others know how you deserve respect, compassion and understanding-- just as much as anyone else.
yikes!-- is what I said offensive?? I don't know...... I sure didn't intend it to be! Please let me know if I've offended you.
best to you,
flutterby-mandy
Posted by fayeroe on April 6, 2009, at 17:00:22
In reply to Don't You Think This is WEIRD?!, posted by sassyfrancesca on April 6, 2009, at 10:12:07
1. childish
2. rude
3. arrogance
4. disrespectful
5. childish
Posted by rskontos on April 7, 2009, at 0:37:21
In reply to Re: Don't You Think This is WEIRD?! » sassyfrancesca, posted by fayeroe on April 6, 2009, at 17:00:22
Sassy,
I have to agree with everyone here. I wish you could move on from his royal weirdness. Actually I don't think it was being weird as being well all the things everyone else said. Rude, childish, arrogant, etc.
take care of yourself,
rsk
Posted by Dinah on April 7, 2009, at 8:10:38
In reply to Don't You Think This is WEIRD?!, posted by sassyfrancesca on April 6, 2009, at 10:12:07
I do think dropping your coat to the floor was not professional.
Your therapist does occasionally redraw the lines. Telling you no more food in session or no more music or no sessions on Sunday. If I'm remembering correctly?
If he was trying to redraw the line so that when your session was over he would like you to leave rather than sit while he makes notes... Or if that day he had some reason that he would prefer that you not wait while he wrote up his notes because he needed to make a phone call or go to the restroom or something... He should have said so with words. That would be the adult, professional, thing to do.
Perhaps you could ask him why he did it? Not that it excuses dropping your coat to the floor of course. Or the remark about being a gentleman. Which is also a bit odd really. My therapist is, I'm sure, a gentleman. But he doesn't feel the need to help me gather my things as I left, and I can't imagine him helping me on with my coat.
But again, whenever my therapist does something I consider odd, I usually bring it up with him. If not immediately then eventually.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 7, 2009, at 9:15:13
In reply to Re: Don't You Think This is WEIRD?! » sassyfrancesca, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2009, at 8:10:38
> I do think dropping your coat to the floor was not professional.
Absolutely.
>
> Your therapist does occasionally redraw the lines. Telling you no more food in session or no more music or no sessions on Sunday. We still have music, candles, something to drink. If I'm remembering correctly?
>
> If he was trying to redraw the line so that when your session was over he would like you to leave rather than sit while he makes notes... Or if that day he had some reason that he would prefer that you not wait while he wrote up his notes because he needed to make a phone callActually, he surprised me one night. While I was sitting there, he made a call to a client.
or go to the restroom or something... He should have said so with words. That would be the adult, professional, thing to do.
Exactly.
>
> Perhaps you could ask him why he did it?I plan to, and I plan to tell him how rude, disrespectful, childish and arrogant it was. He knows me, and knows I speak up when not happy with something he has said or done.
Not that it excuses dropping your coat to the floor of course.
I cannot believe he would do that to anyone else!
Or the remark about being a gentleman. Which is also a bit odd really.I thought it odd, also.
My therapist is, I'm sure, a gentleman. But he doesn't feel the need to help me gather my things as I left, and I can't imagine him helping me on with my coat.
He helps me off with the coat and on, when we leave.
>
> But again, whenever my therapist does something I consider odd, I usually bring it up with him. If not immediately then eventually.So do I. Sometimes I don't bring it up right away; I need time to process it, etc....but he hears about it eventually!
Hugs, Sassy
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 7, 2009, at 9:16:26
In reply to Re: Don't You Think This is WEIRD?!, posted by rskontos on April 7, 2009, at 0:37:21
(((rsk))): "Royal weirdness" That is perfect! I LOVE it!
Hugs, Sassy
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 7, 2009, at 9:20:31
In reply to Re: Don't You Think This is WEIRD?! » sassyfrancesca, posted by fleeting flutterby on April 6, 2009, at 16:39:21
>((((flutterby Mandy))) I agree with all that Kath said. Me, too!
>
> But also-- now, this is me talking-- so take it with a grain of salt please... (I feel there is a motive to everything a person does)....I agree.
>
> It seems to me that he is also "testing" you to see how much crap you're willing to accept from him. He is your "dream" guy, isn't he?yes.
A lot of times "dream guys or gals" will push the limits to see how much crap the enamored one will accept, so then they can see how much(or, if not at all) a doormat someone is going to be.
He knows i am NOT a doormat; most usually when he does or says something hurtful, I let him know about it in no uncertain terms.
(not that you are a doormat-- but maybe he hopes for you to be one some day soon)
I think he knows that will never happen; I've spent my life doing "restorative justice"
I hope for your sake you won't take such behavior from anyone-- I hope that you let others know how you deserve respect, compassion and understanding-- just as much as anyone else.
Thankyou. Tonight he will hear about it. I will let him know how I felt about that and also that I know he'd never do that to anyone else. I plan to tell him he can take his jacket off (so I can drop it on the floor), or I will take it off him (LOL); he will have a choice.
>
> yikes!-- is what I said offensive??Absolutely not.
I don't know...... I sure didn't intend it to be! Please let me know if I've offended you.
You'd never offend me, sweetie!
Hugs, Sassy
>
> best to you,
> flutterby-mandy
Posted by rskontos on April 7, 2009, at 11:08:30
In reply to Re: Don't You Think This is WEIRD?! » rskontos, posted by sassyfrancesca on April 7, 2009, at 9:16:26
Sassy,
I do worry about His Royal Weirdness. I think, IMHO, that his actions were prompted by a overwhelming need to be the one in control. I think he enjoys knowing the hold he has over your emotions and that is wrong in my book.
Try to take back control from him. Then I imagine he might behave more appropriately. And then again, it might be too late for His Royal Weirdness.
just my take,
rsk
Posted by sassyfrancesca on April 7, 2009, at 12:36:27
In reply to Re: Don't You Think This is WEIRD?! » sassyfrancesca, posted by rskontos on April 7, 2009, at 11:08:30
> Sassy,
>
> I do worry about His Royal Weirdness. Ha, Ha....I think, IMHO, that his actions were prompted by a overwhelming need to be the one in control.
Oh, yes...
I think he enjoys knowing the hold he has over your emotions and that is wrong in my book. I think also that he LOVES it when I show my anger.
>
> Try to take back control from him. Then I imagine he might behave more appropriately. And then again, it might be too late for His Royal Weirdness.Yup, I think it is too late, but He will hear it tonight. Either he takes his jacket OFF so I can drop it on the floor, or I TAKE IT OFF.
LMAO, Sassy
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