![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by MusicLuv on February 28, 2009, at 22:40:31
Thank you for the support. I didn't think I'd make it through last night. I'm disappointed that I did. I feel like a failure. Such a failure. I'm not sure what comes next. It can't be worse than this.
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 1, 2009, at 7:29:48
In reply to Still here, but barely... trigger?, posted by MusicLuv on February 28, 2009, at 22:40:31
I'm so sorry, Music. I haven't responded to your previous posts because I've been in the same place myself for nearly 6 weeks. I don't know if that's helpful or not and I don't want to do anything to make it worse for someone else.
But it is always easier for me to make the argument to someone else that you have a lot to give and this, too, shall pass. I'm trying to believe it for myself and hope that one day soon you will know it for yourself.
In the meantime, lean on these guys here. They are the best. When it gets bad, post. When you think you can't breathe, sing. When you feel like you're going to vomit your feelings up, write them down, no matter what they are.
Do whatever you can to get your endorphins up even a little bit -- playing Wii tennis has done it for me in a month when my joints have been so painful that little else is available to me.
And the others will tell you that your statements about being a failure are the depression talking. They are right.
My thoughts are with you.
(((((((MusicLuv)))))))))
Posted by seldomseen on March 1, 2009, at 8:59:03
In reply to Still here, but barely... trigger?, posted by MusicLuv on February 28, 2009, at 22:40:31
I'm glad you are still here - and barely absolutely counts.
Regarding your night out, I suspect that most of what your are feeling (guilt? shame? regret?) doesn't belong to you at all. I think it is a resurfacing of some old old feelings that are hitting you inordinately hard. If this is the case, just keep telling yourself that these are the past and may have very little to do with the reality of the day. They still hurt, but trying to put some distance and some perspective on how you feel may help.
I've certainly experienced nights out where things just went a little too far. Trust me, it's really not that big of a deal in the larger scope of things. I am so grateful that you didn't get hurt, or hurt someone else in your drive home.
Regarding your T, her calling or not can be interpreted in many different ways. Personally, I usually interpret it as you do, but that, in fact, is usually a misinterpretation and it usually has nothing to do with me at all. When do you see her again?
Please take care of yourself and peace to you.
Seldom.
Posted by rskontos on March 1, 2009, at 12:32:43
In reply to Re: Still here, but barely... trigger? » MusicLuv, posted by seldomseen on March 1, 2009, at 8:59:03
MusicLuv,
I can relate to all you are saying. I have had many a bad nights of behaving in a way that is not who I am. But then again, sometimes we just want to escape who we feel we are in the moment.
Don't beat yourself up. You did not put yourself in this position, the trauma that led to PSTD did. You are probably having a hard time dealing with it and all it means, and then giving the fact that the old messages in our head keep playing on it can seem overwhelming.
It is necessary, as hard as it is, not to read too much into why T called or didn't. What you really need is open dialogue between the two of you. This means you going out on a limb and trusting that you need her to help you and say what you want.
I know I know this is hard saying what you need. Life in the past has shown you just how hard it is, but for your own survival it is necessary. Remember no one can read our minds. As badly as we wish they could just so we would not have to voice all the bad we are feeling.
I am not sure if it helps to hear how others feel. But remember to go on and survive and try to get well means you win not the past. Just take a small step in feeling ok for a few seconds. And then build on that. You can do this, as hard as it seems.
You are not alone. We are here. We would be devastated at losing you. Remember that.
here is to some peace for a few minutes ((((MusicLuv))))))))
and know there are people out here that care.rsk
Posted by rskontos on March 1, 2009, at 15:22:39
In reply to Re: Still here, but barely... trigger? » seldomseen, posted by rskontos on March 1, 2009, at 12:32:43
Posted by Phillipa on March 1, 2009, at 21:43:09
In reply to Still here, but barely... trigger?, posted by MusicLuv on February 28, 2009, at 22:40:31
I know how bout writing again? Love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on March 2, 2009, at 12:51:43
In reply to Re: Still here, but barely... trigger? » MusicLuv, posted by Phillipa on March 1, 2009, at 21:43:09
Could definiely be a trigger unless you answer as you wrote I'm sorry what does that mean? Please answer MusicLuv we care. Love Phillipa ps you could have meant just that you were not posting again could you clarify? Please
Posted by onceupon on March 2, 2009, at 18:49:53
In reply to Still here, but barely... trigger?, posted by MusicLuv on February 28, 2009, at 22:40:31
Hey MusicLuv,
Hearing you say that you're disappointed that you made it through the night and feel like a failure makes me wonder if you attempted suicide. I know I'm late to this thread, but I'm hoping that you have been able to get the help and support that you need and deserve. Please keep posting. We're here for you.
I apologize if I'm way off base here. I've said those things myself in the past though, and it's never been a good place to be. Take care, OK?
Posted by FindingMyDesire on March 3, 2009, at 13:47:13
In reply to Still here, but barely... trigger?, posted by MusicLuv on February 28, 2009, at 22:40:31
Dear MusicLuv,
I have been thinking of you. I'm so glad to see you posting.I'm wishing you some further connection to yourself, to anyone supportive in your life, and to this board.
Someone is always here and cares. ((((((((((MusicLuv)))))))))))
FMD
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 4, 2009, at 21:03:37
In reply to Re: Still here, but barely... trigger?, posted by FindingMyDesire on March 3, 2009, at 13:47:13
Has anybody heard from her? Do we know she's okay?
((((((MusicLuv)))))))
Posted by Phillipa on March 4, 2009, at 21:21:36
In reply to Re: Still here, but barely... trigger?, posted by TherapyGirl on March 4, 2009, at 21:03:37
No I tried again today. If I hear definitely will let you all know. Did she contact anyone else? Love Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.