Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 877372

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Questions about your T

Posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

So since I am really struggling with my T and am trying to figure out if my issues are "normal" here are some questions that if you all could answer would be helpful. -- Thanks so much!

1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?

2) Is your T male or female?

3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?

4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?

5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?

6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)

7) What is your greatest fear of your T?

8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?

======
Now, I know since someone is going to ask about me:

1) I have been with current T about 5-6 months
I had a previous T for 3.5 years. And a couple of T's when I was a kid (foster care).

2) T is male. Which I can't believe I can even sit in the same room, but he is very non-scary.

3) I don't know. T is "psychodyamically" trained, but does object relations, EMDR, etc. Kind of eclectic. I had no idea what T did, I was referred.

4) I am late 20s; T is 40ish. I wish T was older.

5) Parental transference; although I am SOOO embarassed because T is not old enough to be my parent; sibling tranference; transference about abandonment and rejection; again completely embarrassed.
I think transference would be more intense if T was older, because I try and keep it hidden because he is not old enough to be my parent.

6) I NEVER look at T (that I know of). He keeps saying "look at me LT" but I can't.

7)I think T is going is disappear (he doesn't know though)

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by emmanuel98 on January 31, 2009, at 13:51:33

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15


> 1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?
Four years. Never had a prior T except when I was 15 and in youth services.
> 2) Is your T male or female?
Male. That was my choice.
> 3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?
>Psychodynamic. Though at his urging I see a second DBT/CBT person and do a DBT group.
> 4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?
He is 16 years older than me. Not old enough to be my parent, but it often feels that way.
> 5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?
Very much see him as a father-figure. Maybe even a mother figure, but frankly I has such a bad relationship with my mother that I don't think much in terms of mother figures. I have wished I could be his friend or daughter.
> 6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)
Yes. I look at him and he looks at me. Sometimes I have turned away from him to say something that felt shameful and said to him that I couldn't say this and look him in the face.
> 7) What is your greatest fear of your T?
Now it's his possible retiring (he's nearly 70). But before I was afraid he would hurt me or abandon me or be angry.
> 8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?
I do but it took a while. It's hard to let go and trust someone. But he has earned my trust.
> ======

 

Re: Questions about your T ยป Looney Tunes

Posted by sunnydays on January 31, 2009, at 14:00:34

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

> So since I am really struggling with my T and am trying to figure out if my issues are "normal" here are some questions that if you all could answer would be helpful. -- Thanks so much!
>
> 1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?

I have been with him for almost exactly four years. I had a previous T for 2.5 years when I was a teenager.

>
> 2) Is your T male or female?

male

>
> 3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?

still can't give you an exact answer, but probably eclectic - we talk about trauma and attachment, he has mentioned relational analysis, he is trained in EMDR (but we haven't done it), he does substance abuse counseling (but I don't abuse substances), and he throws in a healthy dose of CBT once in a while (which I hate).

>
> 4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?
>
much younger - he could be my father

> 5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?
>

parental - I don't think it's limited by much other than that my issues involve trauma with my parents, although the age difference certainly helps

> 6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)
>

I look at T sometimes when I'm not talking, seldom (a few times a session, more at the beginning before we're too deep) when I'm speaking, and a lot when he's speaking.

> 7) What is your greatest fear of your T?
>

that he will leave me, dump me, or in some other way abandon me

> 8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?
>

depends on the day - I think by now I try to let myself just be in T, but there are times when I am definitely more careful and/or composed than I need to be

> ======
> Now, I know since someone is going to ask about me:
>
> 1) I have been with current T about 5-6 months
> I had a previous T for 3.5 years. And a couple of T's when I was a kid (foster care).
>
> 2) T is male. Which I can't believe I can even sit in the same room, but he is very non-scary.
>
> 3) I don't know. T is "psychodyamically" trained, but does object relations, EMDR, etc. Kind of eclectic. I had no idea what T did, I was referred.
>
> 4) I am late 20s; T is 40ish. I wish T was older.
>
> 5) Parental transference; although I am SOOO embarassed because T is not old enough to be my parent; sibling tranference; transference about abandonment and rejection; again completely embarrassed.
> I think transference would be more intense if T was older, because I try and keep it hidden because he is not old enough to be my parent.
>
> 6) I NEVER look at T (that I know of). He keeps saying "look at me LT" but I can't.
>
> 7)I think T is going is disappear (he doesn't know though)
>
>

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by Nadezda on January 31, 2009, at 17:06:16

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

Could it be that you worry a lot, and in a way that gets in your way, about whether the way you feel is acceptable, normal, the way other people feel, and so forth Sometimes we feel that we're being weird or having reactions we shouldn't or feeling things we shouldnt-- but there's no right way to feel, no one way to feel, and no simple range of acceptable reactions. It would be much more helpful to you if you focused on how you feel, and how you're reacting, without worrying about how anyone else would or might.

There's nothing wrong with having a parental transference to your T, even if he's younger than you. Someone's age or gender doesn't really limit the fantasies we have about them. And the problem with trying to hide or suppress your feelings is that often makes them more intense and more disturbing. For one things, feelings often have an arc-- they're intense for a while, and then they fade, unless you keep them going with secondary thoughts and feelings-- judgments, reproaches to yourself, resistance to feeling that way, etc.

While expressing or even accepting a feeling doesn't make the feeling comfortable, or easy to deal with, - it does help to work it through over time, and also to learn to cope with it, even if it is intense.

Of course you can't force yourself to talk about it-- or even to accept it privately-- but maybe you can work on it. Or to look at your T. Nor do you "have to"-- it just might help. If you're avoiding looking at him, or afraid to look at him, maybe you could talk about why. Do you? He seems to notice that it's a problem, so have you and he tried to understand why you're afraid to?

You seem to have made a lot of progress since you started posting, so you mostly have to keep on going, and to know that whatever you're feeling is okay. It's what you do with feelings --how you act-- that might be more of a problem-- and how much you don't want to feel things you feel. Over time, you'll feel more able to accept things, and see that your T accepts and understands. It's just time, and sticking with it.

Not that you shouldn't ask for reassurance. But maybe the best reassurance you can get is less about what I or anyone else feels-- The feeling of being weird and abnormal and unable to handle things, or of having feelings that we shouldn't-- all are pretty universal feelings-- and there's no magic for getting rid of that discomfort. It's mostly a matter of taking a deep breath, and living with it, and not letting it stop you from moving forward.

Nadezda

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by antigua3 on January 31, 2009, at 18:59:07

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

> 1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?

17 years. Saw someone else briefly and have seen a few other adjunct types along the way.


> 2) Is your T male or female?

Female

> 3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?

Psychodynamic. No, I didn't have a clue about what therapy consisted of when I started.

> 4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?

She's about 15 years older, I think, not sure.

> 5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?

Maternal. It's what I needed at the time. For me, it is limited by her gender.


> 6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)

Now I do, but it was tough getting there.

> 7) What is your greatest fear of your T?

That I will lose her. Not that she would abandon me, but circumstances would make it happen.


> 8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?

I still watch what I say, but over the years it has gotten much easier to let it all out. Or most of it anyway; I still have problems expressing anger at her, or any T professional, when it comes to my past.

antigua

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by olivepit on January 31, 2009, at 21:27:58

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?

On and off for years.

2) Is your T male or female?

Male

3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?

not sure... but focuses heavily on today


4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?


younger by 15 years maybe...

5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?

Haven't experienced this.

6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)

yes, always have eye contact.


7) What is your greatest fear of your T?

I dont have any fears about him... but if I allow myself to think about it Im sure I could come up with one! so I wont :)

8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?

I absolutely let myself be, if I can't then I would get nothing out of it. I am 98% me with him. When it comes to therapy, if Im not comfortable to be myself then Im with the wrong person.

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by yellowbird01 on January 31, 2009, at 21:58:28

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

Neat idea. It's interesting to read what everyone has to say...


1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?
On and off since I was 18 (apx 8 years ago). Just recently began seeing her again about 3 months ago.

2) Is your T male or female?
Female

3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?
A mix of CBT (cognitive behavioral) and psychodynamic.

4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?
She's about 15 years older than me.

5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender? I've experienced a lot of maternal transference. Probably because I began seeing her as a teen after some neglect issues I experienced during my teen years, so I was looking for someone like that. Also, I know she feels some maternal feelings towards me.

6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)
Yes, pretty much all the time during sessions. Sometimes I stop looking if I'm getting frustrated that she's talking too much in hopes she'll get the hint... haha. It doesnt usually work.

7) What is your greatest fear of your T? That she'll stop liking me and I'll stop being "special" to her. We have a special relationship and I fear losing that place in her mind.

8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful? In the past I've been a lot more open and free, but now I find myself being careful. My carefulness is because I'm afraid shes severely misunderstanding me in some ways and I fear giving her any more ammo towards that. I'm working on explaining that very thing to her though.

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by sharon7 on February 1, 2009, at 0:29:31

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

Hey, LT. Here you go. Hope it helps. (o:
>
> 1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?

1.5 years. Prev T's over the years but nothing long term. My current T is my longest.
>
> 2) Is your T male or female?

Female
>
> 3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?

I believe she's primarily CBT.
>
> 4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?

I'm younger, although I am not sure how much.
It's really hard to tell how old she is. I'd say probably at least 10, though.
>
> 5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?

Very strong maternal transference. I've never had an issue about not having a father, but I've always needed a mother. I have only ever had maternal transference feelings towards other women.
>
> 6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)

Probably for the most part I look away. Sometimes I stare at the ceiling. I think eye contact can be hard because we get so embarrassed talking about our feelings.
>
> 7) What is your greatest fear of your T?

That she will not want to be my T anymore.

>
> 8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?

I think I let myself be. (o:

Oh, and I've had 'mothers' that were only 6 or 7 years older than me, so it's more the position the person holds, their maturity, nurturing qualities, more so than age. The older they are the better, and I couldn't imagine feeling the whole mother thing going on with a woman younger than me, or a man, but I know that women can develop maternal feelings for a male therapist. I find that facinating!

Sounds like what you are feeling is completely normal. I'm actually battling with the whole transference thing right now myself. I have not discussed it at all with my T.

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by seldomseen on February 1, 2009, at 4:36:50

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?

8 years

2) Is your T male or female?

Male

3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?

Psychodynamic, but will freely admit that his approach is whatever works for his patients.

4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?

He is 20 years older than me.

5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?

Parental, sexual and savior. I've just run the gamut when it comes to transference I guess.

6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)

I look at him directly.

7) What is your greatest fear of your T?

I've worked through a lot of them, but I still am afraid that he will leave, or just not like me.

8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?

I used to be composed and careful, but when I need to I let it all out.

Seldom

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by wittgensteinz on February 1, 2009, at 9:14:37

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

LT,
I think Nadezda's comments are very perceptive. Perhaps an important question is to consider: what exactly would be "normal" - is there even a way to figure this out. Does reading other peoples' answers help you in that? I think answering these questions is interesting in and of itself - it makes each one of us think about our own therapy, but that said, each person is different in their feelings and reactions, and this fear of 'doing things wrong' or 'being abnormal/having abnormal or unacceptable feelings' is very common indeed in any course of psychotherapy that lasts more than a few weeks. Transference is nothing to be ashamed of, it's something that happens and can be very important in therapy.

Have you been able to address these fears with your T? Maybe, if you could dare to do this, this would be the best way to gain some relief/reassurance. Or are you doubting whether you are a good match/whether the therapy is 'right'?

Anyway, now to the questions...

1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T? It will be 2 years in April. This is my first T.

2) Is your T male or female? Male - I wanted a male therapist as my trust issues seem to be worse with women than men.

3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T? Yes, I found him through the psychoanalysis/psychoanalytic psychotherapy association. He is an analyst. That said, this is my first experience of therapy so I didn't know a great deal about therapy types.

4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T? I am much younger. I am early 20s, he is late 60s.

5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender? I feel a close alliance with him. He is my confidant, a father-figure, a role model and I have experienced some erotic feelings toward him too but I am certainly not 'in love' with him and those feelings have never been over-bearing. I should also not forget that I feel a lot of negative transference toward my T - I often feel great distrust and suspicion. Would I feel these same forms of transference toward a female T? Who knows! I think it's perfectly possible - I've read about plenty of others who have. As for age difference. I am young and any T would be at lesat 10 years old than me I'd guess. Analysts tend to be older in any case. I'm not sure age really matters so much. I suppose it's easier for me to respect/trust a more experienced therapist.

6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking) - Rarely. The seats are angled apart by 45o so unless I turn, I don't look at him if I am facing forwards. I sometimes turn and catch his eye but I don't often look into his eyes and talk. He has never asked me to look at him in the eyes although he does comment sometimes if I have my hands in front of my face or my body is turned right away - he'll ask why I am hiding/what I am hiding from.

7) What is your greatest fear of your T? Abandonment but also that he would continue seeing me but all the while dread seeing me. I would sooner he stopped seeing me than saw me in contempt. I like to have the feeling that I could just walk out of that door and never come back, that he couldn't hurt me whatever he did, but in reality that would be very painful for me. Often thoughts of his death pass through my mind - perhaps that is also a fear.

8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful? I try to. I am required to speak whatever comes to mind - that's something central to this type of therapy - still there are some things I find very hard to talk about and often I have to battle my anxieties. Sometimes a session will be as good as wasted because I am so anxious. There's still some way to 'just being' - in a way 'being yourself - accepting yourself as you are' is one important goal of my therapy.

Witti

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by raisinb on February 1, 2009, at 14:03:35

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

Interesting thread!
> 1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?

I have been with my current one for 4 years. Previously I bounced around, saw 8 or 10 different ones. Longest was about four months.
>
> 2) Is your T male or female?

Female

>
> 3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?

Psychodynamic. I didn't know in a real way what that meant when I started. It was a shock when she started focusing on our relationship in the room.
>
> 4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?

She's about 2 years older than me.
>
> 5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?

Whew. I've experienced strong maternal transference, very intense sexual transference, and some stuff with my dad mixed in there, too. Definitely age and gender influenced all of these. I doubt I'd have mother stuff with a male, or the intense feelings and trust issues and worries about being not good enough or judged. Also, if my therapist were a lot older, I doubt I'd have been attracted to her.

Most of the intense painfulness has lessened in the past year. The attachment is a bit more secure. But a lot of these feelings have come up again in response to her absence.

>
> 6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)

I do sometimes at the beginning, or when we are talking about something unimportant (weather, etc). When we're in the intense part I literally cannot stop staring at the floor.
>
> 7) What is your greatest fear of your T?

I have two. The biggest is that something will happen to her and she will be gone. The second is that she will change and not care about me anymore.
>
> 8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?

Occasionally I just "be." Often though I am very controlled, to the point of tensing all my muscles and being physically exhausted afterwards. My therapist constantly tries to get me to be less controlled and to "fall apart," even to the point of suggesting hugs for that purpose. But I'm not sure I'm ready for it.


>
> ======
> Now, I know since someone is going to ask about me:
>
> 1) I have been with current T about 5-6 months
> I had a previous T for 3.5 years. And a couple of T's when I was a kid (foster care).
>
> 2) T is male. Which I can't believe I can even sit in the same room, but he is very non-scary.
>
> 3) I don't know. T is "psychodyamically" trained, but does object relations, EMDR, etc. Kind of eclectic. I had no idea what T did, I was referred.
>
> 4) I am late 20s; T is 40ish. I wish T was older.
>
> 5) Parental transference; although I am SOOO embarassed because T is not old enough to be my parent; sibling tranference; transference about abandonment and rejection; again completely embarrassed.
> I think transference would be more intense if T was older, because I try and keep it hidden because he is not old enough to be my parent.
>
> 6) I NEVER look at T (that I know of). He keeps saying "look at me LT" but I can't.
>
> 7)I think T is going is disappear (he doesn't know though)
>
>

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by Poet on February 1, 2009, at 16:57:28

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

> 1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?

Six years, no previous T

> 2) Is your T male or female?

Female

> 3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?

Ecelectic, traditional talk & energy work. I chose her because I knew she was a little out there in technique.

> 4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?

She's older than me by I'd guess 10 years.

> 5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?

I honestly don't have much transference.

> 6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)

It depends on what we're talking about. Sometimes I stare at my shoes or cover my face with a pillow. Though in the beginning years I always stared at my shoes, so I guess I have made progress.

> 7) What is your greatest fear of your T?

Even after six years I fear she will say I can't help you, you're hopeless, and terminate me.

> 8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?

Composed and careful. Arms and legs tightly crossed. I would never, ever let her see me cry.

Poet

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by onceupon on February 2, 2009, at 9:21:03

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15


> 1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?

1.5 years with current therapist. I've had a handful of others, but 2 years is about the longest I've seen anyone because I've moved around a lot.

> 2) Is your T male or female?

Female

> 3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?

Eclectic. She advertises herself as blending western and eastern practices. I had no idea what her orientation was when I started - found her thru my insurance. Oh, and she does clinical hypnosis and EMDR, but not with me.

> 4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?

About 10 years younger.

> 5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?

Strong maternal transference. I don't think age difference matters so much here, as my experience of her (and what I project, of course!). And I've experienced a maternal transference with male therapists in the past, though perhaps not as strongly.

> 6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)

Rarely. Mostly I stare at various points around the room. I make the most eye contact at the beginning of sessions when we're mostly just chatting. When I do try to make eye contact during more intense periods, it's incredibly difficult.

> 7) What is your greatest fear of your T?

That she thinks I'm a bad mother. That she's sick of hearing me talk about the same things over and over. That she's impatient with my lack of change. That she forgets about me as soon as I leave. Guess I have a lot of fears :/

> 8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?

I go back and forth. A lot of composed and careful, but I work hard to let myself "be." Funny how that works, huh? I've always been someone who needs to appear as if I have it all together, so it's hard to shrug off that persona, even though for me, that's one of the points of therapy - to not have to be that person.

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by backseatdriver on February 2, 2009, at 13:19:29

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

Love these questions!

>>> 1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?

1 year with current T (male); before that, 2 years (spread over 3) with previous T (female)

>>>2) Is your T male or female?

Male

>>> 3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?

Eclectic, mostly psychodynamic, interpersonal, relational, humanistic, existential. He doesn't do CBT, EMDR. He also doesn't make treatment plans. I did know when I started. What I didn't know is that "eclectic" sometimes just means "whatever the heck works" and sometimes means "I really have no idea what will work for you, or anyone"

>>> 4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?

Younger, by some 20 years. He is 60; I am 37.

>>> 5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?

My transference: He is mostly my mother. Occasionally my sister or father. Sometimes it is an erotic partnerish kind of transference. On very rare occasions, he feels like my son. In the countertransference, I'm pretty sure I'm his sister (with whom I think he must be quite rivalrous) and his mother (don't ask, I hate this).

>>> 6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)

Yes. But if I am feeling overwhelmed I can't.

>>>7) What is your greatest fear of your T?

His anger. Because it comes into me and fuels my very paranoid and angry and murderous inner mother, and then I feel *crazy*

>>> 8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?

I usually start the session careful and then relax. Today I think I am just going to let it all hang out from the first minute, though.

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by obsidian on February 2, 2009, at 14:14:57

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

> So since I am really struggling with my T and am trying to figure out if my issues are "normal" here are some questions that if you all could answer would be helpful. -- Thanks so much!
>
> 1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?

10 years, no previous T

>
> 2) Is your T male or female?

male

>
> 3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?

psychodynamic

> 4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?

younger, by about 25 years maybe?


> 5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?

lots of father type transference, fears of rejection/abandonment (my father did leave)

>
> 6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)

yes, pretty frequently, though maybe not so much if I am just talking on and on about something, or I am saying something difficult
>
> 7) What is your greatest fear of your T?

that he will dump me/disappear
>
> 8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?

I am very often careful, but a heck of a lot less than I was in the beginning. This was a lot of the work. I wasn't used to talking about myself and I wasn't used to anyone listening to me, and I surely didn't think that anyone wanted to hear what I had to say.
>
> ======
> Now, I know since someone is going to ask about me:
>
> 1) I have been with current T about 5-6 months
> I had a previous T for 3.5 years. And a couple of T's when I was a kid (foster care).
>
> 2) T is male. Which I can't believe I can even sit in the same room, but he is very non-scary.
>
> 3) I don't know. T is "psychodyamically" trained, but does object relations, EMDR, etc. Kind of eclectic. I had no idea what T did, I was referred.
>
> 4) I am late 20s; T is 40ish. I wish T was older.
>
> 5) Parental transference; although I am SOOO embarassed because T is not old enough to be my parent; sibling tranference; transference about abandonment and rejection; again completely embarrassed.
> I think transference would be more intense if T was older, because I try and keep it hidden because he is not old enough to be my parent.
>
> 6) I NEVER look at T (that I know of). He keeps saying "look at me LT" but I can't.
>
> 7)I think T is going is disappear (he doesn't know though)
>
>

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by MusicLuv on February 2, 2009, at 15:48:07

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

Hi :)
>
> 1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?

I've been with mine for a year and 3 months. This is my first T

>
> 2) Is your T male or female?

Female

>
> 3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?

She's psychodynamic, and an analyst, but I don't see her for analysis

>
> 4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?

I'm younger, but not by much. I'm 27. She's only 32.
>
> 5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?

I think some slight maternal transference, but I haven't actually had much yet...

>
> 6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)

We pretty much talk directly to each other the whole time. Sometimes we make eye contact in silence for a couple minutes which is extremely anxiety provoking... I'm never sure what to do with that. I feel bad if I look away though. Something about it feels dishonest.

>
> 7) What is your greatest fear of your T?
That I can't meet her expectations.. I guess that's not really a fear of HER.. mostly me.
>
> 8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?

I'm extremely careful. It's difficult for her to get me to open up. She tries really hard though. It gets a little better every time but I still can't seem to trust her completely.

~ MusicLuv

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by Recently on February 2, 2009, at 22:46:43

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?
About 4 months. I had a previous T.

2) Is your T male or female?
Female

3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?
Psychodynamic. I was referred and I didn't know. I had to ask, though it was kind of apparent.

4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?
I'm about 20 years younger

5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?
Mainly transference fears of rejection. I don't know if this is demographically limited.

6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)
I never look at my T during therapy. I think this bothers her. But then again, I cannot see - so who knows... ;-)

7) What is your greatest fear of your T?
That despite what she lets on, she actually hates my guts and dreads our sessions.

8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?
It varies from week to week...

 

Re: Questions about your T

Posted by LittleGirlLost on February 3, 2009, at 12:07:19

In reply to Questions about your T, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:22:15

> So since I am really struggling with my T and am trying to figure out if my issues are "normal" here are some questions that if you all could answer would be helpful. -- Thanks so much!
>
> 1) How long have you been with CURRENT T? Did you have a previous T?
I've been with my therapist for just under 5.5 years. I had another therapist prior to her as well for a few years.

> 2) Is your T male or female?
Female

> 3) What is the orientation of your T? Did you know when you started with T?
Psychodynamic

> 4) Are you older, younger, or same age as T?
I'm younger. She's old enough to be my mother. I like the age difference, just worry about her retiring or something.

> 5) What type of transference have you experienced? Do you think it is limited by your T's age or gender?
Maternal transference, definitely. I don't think there are any limitations...

> 6) Do you look at your T? How frequently? (I mean literally at their face when talking)
I try to, but don't look at her much. I look at the floor, or off to the side; but I try to glance her way every now and then. We were having a very intense moment a few weeks ago and I wasn't looking at her; I couldn't. However, when she kept saying my name and asking me to look at her (which she rarely does); I physically couldn't. It was weird. But I wonder why she did that; I also wonder why I just could not look at her.

> 7) What is your greatest fear of your T?
I worry about her getting rid of me/leaving/moving, but I don't think that fear is really warranted. I think mostly I worry about her retiring... and I've even worry about something happening to her. (I don't want to say it, but I'm sure you know what I mean.)

> 8) Do you just let yourself "be" in T? Or are you composed and careful?
I am much too composed and careful! Sometimes I hate it about myself. Even she has asked me what it would be like to let myself feel free.

LGL


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