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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by paxvox59 on November 21, 2008, at 14:24:00
Hey ya'll. It's been rough on me these past three weeks as I've been adjusting to a new environment. Have yet to see the "public" P-doc, don't even get to see the filtering person until next Monday (to see if I QUALIFY to be mentally ill). I've been really moody with some thoughts of impending doom (when I know none really exist). Not used to have to ask people for help or to take care of me. Living with my brother and his wife most likely saved my life,but I feel like I'm a burden. Trying to socialize as much as I can, even signed up to volunteer at the old town visitors center. I don't know, I'm just feeling a bit too squirrely.
PAX
Posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 14:45:15
In reply to Loosing it...?, posted by paxvox59 on November 21, 2008, at 14:24:00
hi pax, i don't think i;ve see you before.
if you're new, welcome and i'm glad you came.that impending doom stuff is tough, its so hard to shake it, i'm sorry your in that place.
i think that was the hardest thing for me to get past, asking for help, but also getting it.
i'm glad you were able to go live with your brother and his wife, i'm sure its not an ideal situation, but its nice to have that kind of support. its also good to have family around if you have a good relationship with them, for the added support.
but know you are NOT a burden, if they didn't want you there you wouldnt be i'm sure.it is good to hear you are making the effort to socialize, all you can do righ tnow is make efforts and keep doing what you can to help your situation.
exercise helps me sometimes. i think your volunteering would both let you socialize, get some exercise and help you to feel needed, a sense of purpose. i know my volunteer work in a charity really helps me.best wishes
b2c.
Posted by paxvox59 on November 21, 2008, at 14:53:54
In reply to Re: Loosing it...? » paxvox59, posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 14:45:15
Thanks for your reply. No, I'm not new, just returned after a long absence. I used to post under plain "Paxvox", and joined the boards in late 2000 or so. Yes, I know that my bro has me here because he realizes it is the best situation for me. I have a sister in SC who refuses all contact with me because I am "evil". It would help, of course, if I had some proper mental health treatment. In the process of "free" public health, but it is a long and laborious process to get seen by an actual "Pdoc"! For years, I was used to having excellent care because I had the insurance and the money to get good care. Now, w/o a job or insurance, I feel like an invalid! I guess the only way to get quick help is to feign being a threat to self or others, but that has other consequences (like getting put in the state hospital!). SOOOoooooo.... I have to wait.
PAX
Posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 15:02:45
In reply to Re: Loosing it...?, posted by paxvox59 on November 21, 2008, at 14:53:54
well, welcome back and glad your around.
sorry bout your sister being that way though.and ya, getting good MH treatment seems to be last on a long list of needs by the ins. companies. it s@cks. but i'm glad to hear you have the patience to hang in there to get it, it will be worth it.
try not to feel like an invalid, take this time and use it in your best interest. this is time to focus on your health and when/if your ready THEN you can focus on getting a job. but right now it would probably be just one more major stressor you don't need.
AND your are SO right about that having other consequences, i've been in a county facility before and i swear it was as if i went to prison. it was HORRIBLE, the place (dirty), the people (staff), the lack of treatment, EVERYTHING was bad.
now the hospital was a different story it wasn't so bad, it was actually helpful. so i guess it depends where you would end up if you did think you were a threat to yourself, i would hope you could go to the hospital to get help.but good to hear you are doing your best to take care of yourself.
-have some hot chocolate and watch an old movie this weekend!b2c.
Posted by paxvox59 on November 21, 2008, at 15:21:15
In reply to Re: Loosing it...? » paxvox59, posted by B2chica on November 21, 2008, at 15:02:45
Thanks again for the follow-up. The problem I am finding living with my bro is when I try to explain when I am feeling off, and they cannot well relate to what I am trying to tell them. Haven't you had those days where you just feel squirrely and not yourself? Then, you start to worry that the worst of your illness is making a return, and fear sets in. My illness became so severe that I was having serious thoughts about ending it all, and that was TERRIFYING! I cannot stand the thought that such dark feelings could ever return. Bottom line: I DO very much need proper mental health care!
PAX
Posted by Kath on November 22, 2008, at 21:51:29
In reply to Re: Loosing it...?, posted by paxvox59 on November 21, 2008, at 15:21:15
Hi PAX - best of luck on Monday. My thoughts are with you & will be on Monday also.
Is there a 'crisis telephone number' that you could make use of?
The link that I posted for B2 on the 'killer empathy' thread might be of use to you.
Those fears sound scarey. Maybe you could come up with a reassuring 'mantra' to say.
I don't know what. Something soothing or reassuring. If you want to Brainstorm about it let me know.
:-)
If I put myself in your place, the part of me that would be most scared would be my 'inner little kid' part. Sometimes if I'm aware of that I can get into the 'adult Kath' & feel separate & almost see that 'little kid Kath' & reassure her - for ex I might say, "Hey little one, I know that feels really scarey. That was THEN that that happened. I know we're not feeling great, but this is NOW. We're feeling crappy, but it's ok. We're going to be okay'.hugs, Kath
Posted by Phillipa on November 23, 2008, at 0:55:07
In reply to Re: Loosing it...?, posted by paxvox59 on November 21, 2008, at 15:21:15
Pax have you taken psych meds in the past for depression? Did they work? How long since on them? If it's been a while anyway to get them prescribed again? How bout an assessment at a hospital ER can't refuse to treat without insurance if you think you may be suicidal. Don't know what's happening Monday but good luck. Love Phillipa
Posted by zenhussy on November 23, 2008, at 3:06:32
In reply to Loosing it...?, posted by paxvox59 on November 21, 2008, at 14:24:00
it is beyond humbling to have to not only ask for help but be able to graciously receive it. that's the toughie.
you know you best and that means you're aware of what the "too squirrely" indicates for you.........stay on top of it as best you can.
communicate w/ your brother as best you can. use the AA/NA as best you can.
slim pickins and no time to be choosey. fight the disease...not the person w/ the disease. in your corner pax.
Posted by paxvox59 on December 1, 2008, at 17:54:20
In reply to Re: Loosing it...? » paxvox59, posted by zenhussy on November 23, 2008, at 3:06:32
Oh silly me thinking I could get "free" psych care! When I went to the county mental health this past Tues. (11/25) they said I was "too together" to receive care from them, and would do better to go to a GP! Well, that I can't afford a GP, how does that help me? Now, if I were to go to a McDonalds and flip out, well that's a different story! So anyway, I DID make an appointment to see a Family doc this Thurs. with high hopes that at least he will script me for some Wellbutrin (which has worked for me well in the past). Don't know about coming off of Remeron cold turkey though. I hear that is a real b***h to get off of. Oh bother....
PAX
Posted by Kath on December 1, 2008, at 18:03:44
In reply to Re: Loosing it...?, posted by paxvox59 on December 1, 2008, at 17:54:20
D***,
I'm sorry. The Withdrawal board or Medication board might be a good place to check going off Remeron.
I think it's so sad when people go for help & get told they're not sick enough! :-((
Is it very expensive to go for a doctor's visit? In Canada it's covered by our Government-paid insurance (well, I guess we pay it in our taxes).
Let us know what happens.
hugs, Kath
Posted by zenhussy on December 2, 2008, at 10:39:17
In reply to Re: Loosing it...?, posted by paxvox59 on December 1, 2008, at 17:54:20
oh silly you is right! ((Pax)) Sucks rocks to be in your situation but you're to be commended on staying the course of finding ANY way to wellness/meds/assistance.
lots of systems in this country are not set up to make things like this easy. finding appropriate care, let alone affordable can be extraordinarily challenging to the most mentally fit of us....so it is quite frustrating to read of your struggles when you're not feeling top notch.
please keep doing whatever it takes to get the help you need. staying w/ your bro isn't ideal but it IS housing/an address/homebase and more importantly: safe.
here's a crazy idea that might seem counter intuitive.....try to put to paper your memory of your psych history w/ as much detail as you can recall.....meds/how much/when/what moods/when/how long did episodes last/etc.
sometimes a written timeline or outline of time posts throughout one's illness can better help a new doctor "get" the extensive nature of disease/disorder many of us deal w/.
hopefully this gp can rx you and get you hooked up w/ the meds program from Glaxo or whoever now makes wellbutrin.
in your corner,
zenny
Posted by zenhussy on December 8, 2008, at 15:34:36
In reply to Re: Loosing it...?, posted by paxvox59 on December 1, 2008, at 17:54:20
Posted by Kath on December 8, 2008, at 21:18:02
In reply to Re: Loosing it...?, posted by paxvox59 on December 1, 2008, at 17:54:20
Posted by paxvox59 on December 11, 2008, at 18:29:33
In reply to Re: Loosing it...? how did fam. doc go on Th? (nm) » paxvox59, posted by zenhussy on December 8, 2008, at 15:34:36
He gave me what I asked for (should have asked for more?). But it seemed clear he wasn't too comfortable delving into psych issues. Anxious today.
PAX
Posted by Kath on December 11, 2008, at 21:44:33
In reply to Re: Loosing it...? how did fam. doc go on Th?, posted by paxvox59 on December 11, 2008, at 18:29:33
Sounds like a concern about the Remeron. Could the family doc that you got the Wellbutrin from be your support for remeron? Like, give you a scrip for more & monitor you? But then, again, I'm in Canada & don't have to pay (except in TAXES!!) for doctor visits.
Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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