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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on October 16, 2008, at 9:24:59
Feelings are never right....or wrong. They simply.....are.
They should be honored, respected and validated.
A lot of us were abused as children, and had no boundaries (have to learn them as adults, which is difficult).
If we were invalidated and devalued as having nothing important to say, or our feelings were totally ignored (as if we were invisible), then it is so hard to let ourselves be heard in the world.
As everything in life...it is all about choices. We CAN be heard. We have a RIGHT to be heard.
We CAN choose to take our power back.
So how does that make you feel?! (Little tongue-in-cheek humor, there), LOL
Actually, my t has never said those words (and trains other t's to not say that either).
Love, Sassy
Posted by JayMac on October 16, 2008, at 9:50:39
In reply to Something Important to Remember About Our Feelings, posted by sassyfrancesca on October 16, 2008, at 9:24:59
Thank you for posting that. It's a great reminder! =)
Posted by Kath on October 16, 2008, at 12:59:23
In reply to Something Important to Remember About Our Feelings, posted by sassyfrancesca on October 16, 2008, at 9:24:59
Wise words S.
I've heard them & those concepts lots of times & am doing pretty well in that regard most of the time.
Thx - you just helped me feel a little better today.
Which words is it that your t never says?
luv & hugs, Kath
Posted by sassyfrancesca on October 16, 2008, at 13:31:47
In reply to Re: Something Important to Remember About Our Feelings » sassyfrancesca, posted by Kath on October 16, 2008, at 12:59:23
(((Kath)): Thanks, sweetie...!
The words my t never says? "How does that make you feel?"
Hugs n Love, Sassy
Hope you are doing well.....
Posted by healing928 on October 16, 2008, at 13:40:06
In reply to Re: Something Important to Remember About Our Feel » Kath, posted by sassyfrancesca on October 16, 2008, at 13:31:47
Sassy,
I am sorry if you think i am insensitive, but feelings and choices ARE a part of therapy. We should be learning in therap that we are free to make our own choices. Therapy has helped me realize i am a sensitive person and that is good in many ways. I do understand about about abuse and invalidation, but for the first time in my life I feel like I can make the choices thar are right for me.
My therapist has had his phd for many years, and is a full professor and supervises the training of other t, and he has taught me that we all have the power to make certain choices and feelings are a part of life.
I am sorry if you feel i am insensitive, but pain is a part of life, suffering is optional.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on October 16, 2008, at 13:57:54
In reply to Re: Something Important to Remember About Our Feel, posted by healing928 on October 16, 2008, at 13:40:06
> Sassy,
>
> I am sorry if you think i am insensitive, but feelings and choices ARE a part of therapy.I don't think you are insensitive. We cannot choose our feelings, but we DO have choices (usually, depends on the situation).
I wasn't speaking of feelings in therapy, I was talking about our feelings just in life.
We should be learning in therap that we are free to make our own choices. Therapy has helped me realize i am a sensitive person and that is good in many ways. I do understand about about abuse and invalidation, but for the first time in my life I feel like I can make the choices thar are right for me.
That is another thing; life is all about choices, and we always (usually as an adult) have choices.
>
> My therapist has had his phd for many years, and is a full professor and supervises the training of other t, and he has taught me that we all have the power to make certain choices and feelings are a part of life.Woops, I just said that without reading the above, LOL
When one doesn;t believe/or THINK they have a choice, it is the same as NOT having a choice. It took me 31 years to realize that I could make a decision/choice for my life, and I did it. Unfortunately, I had no one's help in the struggle (I went to my t because of what my church was doing to me).
>
>
> I am sorry if you feel i am insensitive,I don't.
but pain is a part of life,
Yes, I know that. Except for 3 years in the army I lived with abuse. Now I counsel abused women; I believe we are all here for a purpose, and that is to make a difference.
suffering is optional...well, not sure about that statement of exactly what you mean. Suffering happens whether we want it to or not sometimes.
Smiles, Sassy
>
>
Posted by lemonaide on October 16, 2008, at 14:09:36
In reply to Re: Something Important to Remember About Our Feel, posted by healing928 on October 16, 2008, at 13:40:06
Okay, this is a good theory, but it isn't all entirely true. Some of didn't have the power as a child to make choice and some of us have suffered horrendous abuse from our parents or others, are you saying when I was a child I had a choice about it? Or that I didn't suffer?
You know my first T was also PhD, professor and supervisor and it didn't stop him from abusing his power over me and sexualized the relationship. Degree's don't mean sh*t, there are as many abusive people who are educated as uneducated. A degree doesn't define the ethics of a person.
Pain shouldn't be accepted as a part of life, especially when it was abusive at the hands of another. When a parent abuses their children, it changes them not only emotionally but physically. Some of us suffer from flashback from pier abuse, just like a vet can suffer flashbacks from war.
You can eventually choose not have these things take over your life, with much therapy to repair the damage. It isn't as simple as saying well I am not going to suffer. Survivor need to speak out, they have been silenced too long, while the abuse still continues. Speaking out can be part of the healing it takes to get over it. Telling someone they are choosing to feel like a victim is very insensitive to them. I am sure most true victims would give up their right hand to not feel the pain.
> My therapist has had his phd for many years, and is a full professor and supervises the training of other t, and he has taught me that we all have the power to make certain choices and feelings are a part of life.
>
>
> I am sorry if you feel i am insensitive, but pain is a part of life, suffering is optional.
>
>
Posted by Kath on October 16, 2008, at 14:21:56
In reply to Re: Something Important to Remember About Our Feel, posted by healing928 on October 16, 2008, at 13:40:06
> I am sorry if you feel i am insensitive, but pain is a part of life, suffering is optional.
~~~I'd like to hear more about the 'suffering is optional' part! Sounds good to me, but I don't understand.
:-) Kath
Posted by Kath on October 16, 2008, at 14:39:57
In reply to Re: Something Important to Remember About Our Feel » healing928, posted by lemonaide on October 16, 2008, at 14:09:36
Hi L,
That must have been so traumatic - to trust someone & put yourself in a very vulnerable state & have the betray that by crossing the line & sexualizing it.
THAT is abominable! I'm so sorry you had to endure that.
(((((((you))))))) Kath
Posted by WaterSapphire on October 17, 2008, at 0:18:35
In reply to Re: Something Important to Remember About Our Feel » lemonaide, posted by Kath on October 16, 2008, at 14:39:57
Some of us are able to make more choices than others depending on our circumstances, resources, health, and yes...if we have some of it...willpower.
But when someone is so downtrodden, they may feel as if all their choices have been snatched away one, by one, by one. There are still choices to make...
However, suffering sadly is part of life and not always something one can avoid no matter what they do. If that was the case, many lives would be saved if they could turn suffering off like a light switch.
Posted by lemonaide on October 17, 2008, at 22:29:08
In reply to Re: Something Important to Remember About Our Feel » lemonaide, posted by Kath on October 16, 2008, at 14:39:57
Thanks Kath,
You are such a sweetheart! It is nice to have you over here with us crazies (speaking of only myself). ;-)
Posted by Kath on October 17, 2008, at 22:55:49
In reply to Re: Something Important to Remember About Our Feel » Kath, posted by lemonaide on October 17, 2008, at 22:29:08
LOL I'm enjoying being here.
I find it a little stressful as there are alot of posts & I feel like I want to (& should) read them all.
I can get feeling sort of 'behind' in knowing what's going on for everyone!!
I'll see if I can come up with a way to be balanced.
Hope you're feeling somewhat better (even a teeny bit)
xo Kath
Posted by Morgan79 on October 19, 2008, at 0:21:49
In reply to Re: Something Important to Remember About Our Feel, posted by healing928 on October 16, 2008, at 13:40:06
Healing,
I just found this site tonight after missing my "t." We still are in communication and what we are, isn't certain. Sometimes things just happen in therapy. He is a good man, and I don't want him to charged, so I am giving him some space. We see each other at school and I want so much for him to come to me, but that is not going to happen.
I want to say, I agree "pain is a part of life, suffering is optional." We are both single, have many of the same interests and we have similar traits, but I know we can't be together now. It hurts to let him go, but sometimes when we continue in the pain that is when it becomes unmanagable.
I look forward to getting to know you and others from psychobabble!
~Morgan
Posted by lucie lu on October 19, 2008, at 13:48:24
In reply to Re: Something Important to Remember About Our Feel » healing928, posted by Morgan79 on October 19, 2008, at 0:21:49
Hi Morgan,
Just wanted to welcome you to babble! Glad you found the site. Many people have said that babble has been a great source of support and information about things concerning therapy, the therapeutic relationship, personal growth, and other issues. It is also a site where friendships often grow as you share posts with other people who may be going through similar things. Since you are a new poster, would you like to start a new thread? I'm sure others will want to welcome you to babble too, and it may be easier to specifically respond to you on a thread that you have started. Just a suggestion.
Looking forward to getting to know you too!
Best,
Lucie
Posted by Kath on October 19, 2008, at 14:05:53
In reply to Re: Something Important to Remember About Our Feel » healing928, posted by Morgan79 on October 19, 2008, at 0:21:49
Ditto to Lucie's post.
"Social" is another good board to get to meet people at. These days it's not as busy as it used to be, but I believe there are some folks who post there & don't post on this one, so you'd get to 'know' more people possibly.
:-)) Kath
Posted by Morgan79 on October 20, 2008, at 0:27:37
In reply to Welcome Morgan » Morgan79, posted by Kath on October 19, 2008, at 14:05:53
Lucie and Kath,
Thank you for the welome. I will post a intro soon!
~Morgan
This is the end of the thread.
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