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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lemonaide on September 29, 2008, at 23:11:55
But it feels so damn good. I feel like it is justice for the harm that was done by my first T.
Yes, I have 3 poems about him, one naming him, and I have been rating him and leaving my comments about what he did to me on medical rating things on the net. I only tell the truth, there is nothing false contained in my statements.
I am not proud of this, but for some reason it gives me a voice of what has happened to me, so nobody else becomes a victim, it empowers me to fight the unethical actions of my T.
Yeah, I could bring complaints to the licensing board, but therapists twist things to make a client seem crazy instead of acknowledging what he did was wrong. Nobody needs to become a victim twice, once by the T and then going though the hearings. I feel like I have a voice and it though my poetry and my on line ratings.
Even though I know this makes me a bitch probably, and a mean person, but for once I feel I am standing up for myself and other victims who have gone through the same thing.My new T I am meeting on Thurs. said that she has 2 other clients who have had sexual relationships with a local T(not mine). So this isn't uncommon that is for sure. So sorry if this disappoints anyone here, but I had to do it, I had to do it for justice.
Posted by lemonaide on September 29, 2008, at 23:46:51
In reply to I know this is mean, and maybe I am really a bitch, posted by lemonaide on September 29, 2008, at 23:11:55
Why did allow b@tch not to be censored? Sorry about that, I didn't notice till after summit.
Posted by 10derHeart on September 30, 2008, at 0:17:01
In reply to Re: I know this is mean, and maybe I am really a bitch, posted by lemonaide on September 29, 2008, at 23:46:51
The word is not considered vulgar, obscene, etc. by Merriam-Webster, so it's left 'as is' by the software. You can always asterisk it yourself, if you like. It's okay, either way.-- 10der
Posted by lemonaide on September 30, 2008, at 0:32:37
In reply to auto asterisking » lemonaide, posted by 10derHeart on September 30, 2008, at 0:17:01
Thanks, it is kinda weird the way that is.
Posted by Phillipa on September 30, 2008, at 10:44:32
In reply to Re: auto asterisking » 10derHeart, posted by lemonaide on September 30, 2008, at 0:32:37
I'm confused I guess I don't know the story of the T just know the one you're leaving and new one? Love Phillipa
Posted by lemonaide on September 30, 2008, at 11:37:20
In reply to Re: auto asterisking » lemonaide, posted by Phillipa on September 30, 2008, at 10:44:32
This is about my first T, who I saw at the gym and I were we saw each other at the gym, it was about 1 1/2 years ago when I fired him.
Posted by lemonaide on September 30, 2008, at 13:12:58
In reply to I know this is mean, and maybe I am really a bitch, posted by lemonaide on September 29, 2008, at 23:11:55
Posted by Phillipa on September 30, 2008, at 19:55:26
In reply to Re: auto asterisking » Phillipa, posted by lemonaide on September 30, 2008, at 11:37:20
Yup remember him. Thanks, Phillipa
Posted by Wittgensteinz on October 1, 2008, at 15:10:00
In reply to I know this is mean, and maybe I am really a bitch, posted by lemonaide on September 29, 2008, at 23:11:55
Lemonaide,
If I'm honest, I don't really understand what happened between you and your old T. Is he actually guilty of misconduct (i.e. did he behave illegally) or is it more a matter of subtle inappropriate suggestiveness on his part and untherapeutic behaviour? Boundary crossings or boundary violations. I'm assuming he never physically 'acted out'. If he did however, I really think the best thing you could do for yourself and for his other patients is to approach the licensing board and disclose what he did, so that it can be investigated. You may feel it's not worth your while, that he'll have all the answers, but I think you will be taken seriously as these are seriously allegations and sadly not so uncommon. At the very least it will lead him to think much more carefully before repeating such patterns with other patients.
On the other hand, if it is more a matter of fine interpretation, i.e. perceived sexualisation of the relationship, then although this may be inappropriate on his part, is it healthy and helpful to spread hate in this way on-line (of course what you post on your blog is up to you). What I mean to say is: is it helping you move on from this experience or rather is it keeping the whole thing alive?
Is this man dangerous for his patients? Did he behave in such a way that would have him stripped of his license or that would equate to criminal activity? If I were a current patient of his and I was having a good experience with him, I'm not sure it would be a good thing for me to be confronted by the anger of another patient. I can just imagine the impact it would have on me if I ended up reading something like that about my therapist - it would totally blow my trust and would likely put me into a crisis.
Now bearing in mind anyone can in theory write what they want about their therapist on-line, it is a risky business. I think most therapists will at some point have done things wrong, have had a falling out with a patient, have gone about the relationship in the wrong way - if they all then go on to publicly denigrate the therapist on-line, it could become very difficult deciding which cases were genuine misconduct and which were just of a patient with an axe to grind. I'm not saying you are the latter, just that going about it officially through a licensing board would make more sense perhaps than posting ambiguous poems on-line with his name at the top, and then posting a link on a forum for people in therapy.
Please don't be mad at me, it's just my opinion.
Witti
Posted by lemonaide on October 1, 2008, at 18:48:37
In reply to Re: I know this is mean, and maybe I am really a b » lemonaide, posted by Wittgensteinz on October 1, 2008, at 15:10:00
Wittgensteinz,
I am not mad at you, so please don't worry about that. No, my T and I didn't have sex, but even if that didn't happened, it doesn't mean he was appropriate. It was more than just fine line perceptions, trust me. Many that have gone through this with me on Babble has seen the harm it caused or is causing. Some things were on the line, but some went over, I think most would agree with me on that.
Like I said I know what happened in these licensing procedures, and they are not very kind to client.
I don't believe my poems are full of hate, maybe hurt, but not hate. I simply wrote about what he did. In the doctor's rating things on the internet, it asks what you think of the care you received. I think being honest with what I write isn't hateful, maybe it is sad what happened to me, and inappropriate, but it isn't me who did the actions.
I know like many abuses, many people would rather not know, they just want to bury their heads in the sand, but this only allows it to continue.
Posted by Racer on October 1, 2008, at 22:38:45
In reply to Re: I know this is mean, and maybe I am really a b » Wittgensteinz, posted by lemonaide on October 1, 2008, at 18:48:37
> Like I said I know what happened in these licensing procedures, and they are not very kind to client.
Actually, I didn't find that to be at all true. For those who don't remember -- which I assume is most here, by the way ;-) -- I had a nightmare experience a few years back, while uninsured and unable to choose doctor/therapist. To make a long story short, the nightmare I experienced led to a relapse into Anorexia Nervosa, I lost one third of my body weight, became severely agoraphobic, and was generally speaking a basket case. Even the weight loss was not noted -- and I read my chart, at no time did anyone say, "This one has lost a couple of pounds." In fact, at one point, the T wrote that I had complained of having trouble with food, but then denied purging or fasting. (Of course I wasn't fasting -- now ask if I was eating more than 400 calories per day?) So, in my case, there was some very visible physical deterioration, as well as the psychic trauma.
I drafted complaints about the doctor, the therapist, and the agency involved, sent them out to the appropriate licensing boards, and know that an investigation was launched. For a long time, I was kinda obsessed with that investigation -- until I started to think about what the investigation really meant to me? Nothing ever went to court, the T and pdoc were never reprimanded, although the agency itself apparently was.
What about me? I finally looked at the whole thing from a little more distance. What I wanted, was validation -- FROM THEM! And I was never going to get that. So, I had a choice: I could look at *why* I still wanted that validation from people I did not respect, and work on that with a competent therapist, or I could continue to let that live on for me. After all, I'm pretty sure that NONE of them even remember who I am! So, why was I giving them so much power over me?
Moving on helped me the most -- although I gotta tell you, sending off those complaints made it a hell of a lot easier for me to let it go. The only one of the three complaints that required me to be interviewed was the complaint against the agency itself -- and that was an enormously empowering experience for me. I took in photographs, taken at that time, along with copies of my chart, showing the doctor's note that I was a "well nourished white female," and I could see the look on the director's face. I know that they acted, even if I do not know what they did.
And what helped me most was looking at why I was so desperate for that validation from the people at fault -- I was getting a hell of a lot of validation from everyone else, so why did it matter so much that it come from them?
>I think being honest with what I write isn't hateful, maybe it is sad what happened to me, and inappropriate, but it isn't me who did the actions.
I won't speak for Wittie, but what worries me most is that you seem to be holding on to it so much. Regardless of your reasons, regardless of the damage you suffered -- I still find myself asking whether finding a way to move on might not be a healthier use of your time? I realize this is partly projection, from my own experience, but I also think it might be a good topic for examination.
> I know like many abuses, many people would rather not know, they just want to bury their heads in the sand, but this only allows it to continue.
Except -- this also allows it to continue. Truly -- a complaint to the licensing board would be a much more effective way to make this sort of thing stop. Here's what I learned through my experience: even if they do not act on your complaint, even if they investigate and find nothing, even if their experts decide it's not worth investigating -- the complaints stay in the files for a period of time before they're completely gone. If, during that time, someone else files a complaint, the presence of another, similar complaint strengthens the idea that someone needs to investigate.
For that matter, maybe he already has complaints in his file, and yours would be all it took to stop him?
By the way, I am personally disturbed whenever I see identifying information about doctors or Ts posted here. I can't necessarily put my finger on it, but I just find myself very uncomfortable. It was hard for me to look at your blog, for that reason. I don't know why I'm saying that, because it is your right to post it on your blog, but that always makes me so uncomfortable -- maybe because I do feel so strongly that complaints are more appropriate? Dunno...
This is the end of the thread.
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