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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on August 13, 2008, at 11:07:14
kinda long (5min+)
check out the name of the group.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6Bd6ayDxNE
littleone came out in session yesterday, last 15min of course, and had to hurry to close, left not in good shape.
little better today. i upped my zyprexa last night.
i actually felt a little less depressed after i left session, exhausted, but a little less depressed. (the suicidal ideation left)
So i'm wondering if some of my depression is held by one of my "inners".
has anyone experienced this? how do you deal with it?i'm still feeling a mess, but i think confusion is a big part of it right now too. and frustration, sadness over meds issues.
b2c.
Posted by rskontos on August 13, 2008, at 12:39:07
In reply to i feel like this, posted by B2chica on August 13, 2008, at 11:07:14
B2c, I have often felt like it is one of mine that has the suicide ideas. My inners hold the hopeless feelings and when things go wrong, that is when those feelings or old feelings resurface, and along with that I think she/they do too.
I ride it out, and hide my meds I would use. I haven't told my pdoc although he is trying to get me to open up. I had tried to quit therapy because my insurance ran out and he is treating me gratis for now. He insisted. He thinks I am worth the effort, although I am not sure it is worth his time.Anyway, I do relate to your thoughts on this. Now how to handle it exactly that I am not sure of.
And I know my depression is not shared by all of us. I am not always depressed. The wellbutrin isn't really working all that great but I am awaiting test results to see how much of all the neurotransmitters my brain actually produces. It might not be the meds fault. It might be my brain.
I have found that in testing I have some medical issues that is definitely contributing to my overall poor feelings physically.
As this new doc explained it the wellbutrin can only work to allow your brain to have more dopamine around if your brain is producing it.
although i get the impression my t/pdoc doesn't really like this new doc that is testing me.
anyway,
I am sorry littleone came out and you were left in bad shape. I have been there too.
I do mainly try to talk to them about how things are and how i am trying to deal with them. Or I watch programs that help me escape.
I must admit lately I just escape. I am escaping from doing much in therapy too.
I hope I haven't made you feel worse. I do understand.
rsk
Posted by B2chica on August 13, 2008, at 13:22:06
In reply to Re: i feel like this » B2chica, posted by rskontos on August 13, 2008, at 12:39:07
thank you for understanding, for responding.
you didn't make me feel worse.but if its one of my inner's/alters whatever, how do i deal with it, and will meds even help?
i feel a little low today so i know it's not totally her.
but, now what.and these are now rhetorical questions.
i think part of it is i fell helpless with meds. i feel like i don't even have a pdoc cuz i do all the med switching. he has yet to come up with any suggestions. its always me going in and suggesting we do this and that cuz he doesn't do ANYTHING and i know leaving and changing NOTHING means i'm still gonna feel like cr@p four weeks from them when i see him again...i mean REALLY!! WTF??but i have hope that my old pdoc may open his practice again. i'm not feeling optomistic right now but thats the depression and pessimism. but when i first heard it, boy did i get a burst of hope.
i think i need more sunshine also. being trapped working in a basement of a building doesn't help any.
thanks Rsk.
later.
(and i'm mostly on meds board these days so if you need me babblemail or give a hollar over at meds)b2c.
Posted by rskontos on August 14, 2008, at 12:06:59
In reply to Re: i feel like this » rskontos, posted by B2chica on August 13, 2008, at 13:22:06
B2c, although I am no expert with dealing with the depression issue myself, it is my belief with inners that meds don't always work and at best they work when that inner is out more or more blended. If that makes sense. I am more depressed when they are more present, if they are gone, the depression is not as strong. so I try to keep busy and try to stay more in my real life. But that isn't easy either as I am alone alot.
I haven't found meds all that helpful except xanax for the anxiety. Right now I am major anxious but not taking alot of xanax cause I dont want to need to up the dosage.
Anyway, I have tried talking to mine. Sometimes that work sometimes it doesn't. Usually for me the suicide thing passes. Because my inners retreat. I still have a way to keep the emotions inside my head.
Maybe not for long though.
I am not really sure what meds help. I guess somehow the internal conflict must be dealt with, and probably meds can just take the edge off. You know. Like at first the wellbutrin made a slight adjustment for me, but not a major wow thing. You know.
Just a slight increase in energy. At least it was something more positive.I will come visit over at meds.
Babblemail me anytime too.
I understand your frustrations too.
I average one to two bad days a week. those where I can't hardly get out of bed.
I just go with the flow if I can. and stay in my room.
yeah I hear about more sunshine. Although I spent 14 days in florida and it still didn't improve my mood too much.
rsk
Posted by Lemonaide on August 14, 2008, at 16:33:06
In reply to i feel like this, posted by B2chica on August 13, 2008, at 11:07:14
Hi B2,
((((B2))))) I miss you, I am sorry things are still hard. Therapy is such a long process it seems, never enough time either. What is it with the 45-50 min hour, don't they know it isn't enough?
My T knows of one T who has no appointments, he takes you in when you show up and takes as long as needed, even if 3 hours. Others wait in the room until their turn. He has no problem getting clients.
How is your daughter doing? Is she crawling yet? I bet she is such the cutest little thing.
B2, take care of yourself, you matter to so many people.
This is the end of the thread.
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