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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 14:51:03
Just wondering, what is too much information for a therapist to be able to handle? If it is true that therapist are "human" and I know it is...and that they too have feelings as well, is there NOT anything that a patient can say that will be too much for the therapist to handle?
I know mine tells me that I can tell him anything,and I have been able to tell him everything, but I still wonder what would be too much info...
Posted by no_rose_garden on August 10, 2008, at 16:13:38
In reply to How do you know when to say when?, posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 14:51:03
my policy (which may or may not be wrong) is that i shouldn't hold back from saying something. I guess I figure that if i can't tell him, then i can't tell anybody...then i'll just have to deal w/ it alone...which is probably worse.
...until i hear otherwise
Posted by backseatdriver on August 10, 2008, at 20:09:44
In reply to Re: How do you know when to say when?, posted by no_rose_garden on August 10, 2008, at 16:13:38
I've revealed some pretty gnarly stuff in therapy, and no one has yet told me to stop. So I think their threshold is pretty high. If anything's too much, I think you can trust the therapist to tell you.
Posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 20:12:56
In reply to Re: How do you know when to say when?, posted by backseatdriver on August 10, 2008, at 20:09:44
I have definately shared some pretty scary stuff..by scary...I mean...stuff that I would never in my life tell anyone else..and he accepted it..but my last therapist..I shared with her about my wanting to feel numb and to use painkillers to "feel better" and she decided that I was too "sick" to help. SO aparently that was too much info for her to handle.
My therapist now, I told him that story and I told him about wanting to feel numb and he accepted it and helped me work through it...and eventually it landed me in rehab but even to this day, I still want to feel numb but I am not doing anything about it and he still continues to help me.
Posted by stellabystarlight on August 10, 2008, at 20:51:52
In reply to How do you know when to say when?, posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 14:51:03
I tell mine quite a bit about myself, and there's a lot. I think they can handle anything about the patient except for erotic transference. When my T gets a little uncomfortable at times, I pull back. I know they're supposed to be professionals, but I just see my T as a human being first.
When I feel negatively towards him, I try not to impulsively throw anger at him. I usually take a deep breath and try to remain calm while talking about it.
I would definitely talk about it with him, so it's not all on you. I did with mine and it helped.
:) stellabystarlight
Posted by Dinah on August 11, 2008, at 11:53:30
In reply to How do you know when to say when?, posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 14:51:03
I remember thinking, when you posted the thread above, if you were trying to discover this experientially. :)
Why don't you ask him?
My therapist was pretty clear on the boundaries he was comfortable with. He didn't mind if I drove by his house. He didn't want me knocking on his door, or sitting in my car outside.
He didn't mind my calling him on the cell phone number he gave me, even if I was just calling to listen to his answering service message. But he'd be angry if I called his home number.
He didn't mind my googling him, or making note of anything that showed up about him in the newspaper. But he didn't want me investigating things that weren't public records.
It was good to ask, and good to have him tell me, because there was no longer any wondering. He tried at first to say that he'd tell me if I'd crossed a line *when* I crossed it. But that wasn't sufficient for me. I wanted to know before I crossed it. He might have been a bit exasperated with me for my persistence, since he didn't think I'd do anything he wouldn't find acceptable, but he did clarify for me.
Posted by Amanda29 on August 11, 2008, at 15:43:22
In reply to Re: How do you know when to say when?, posted by Dinah on August 11, 2008, at 11:53:30
I can ask him, and I probably will actually, but I have found out where he lives, I have driven by..but didnt get out, I have called him on his cell...he gave me the number to use when I have an emergency...there was one time the night before I was leaving for rehab and I was freaking out and I called him at home. He wasnt there and his voice mail picked up...but after listening to the message I hung up the phone. I told him that I had called him at his house and all he said was for me to next time not do that. So I haven't.
I am freaking out about having found where he lives and I am actually at this moment waiting to see if he responds to my email I sent to him apologizing. My hope is that he will be OK with it and that that will be it.
I like to know ahead of time when I have done something wrong...instead of right when I do it. Usually with him I bring up my issues before the actual therapy session so that I can "prime" him. Not that I have to do that...He is pretty much ready for anything I have to say, but I just feel better if he knows ahead of time what i need to be dealing with.
Posted by Dinah on August 11, 2008, at 16:03:45
In reply to Re: How do you know when to say when? » Dinah, posted by Amanda29 on August 11, 2008, at 15:43:22
It should help some if you ask him. Then you'll know, and not have to worry. It is, of course, difficult to think of every possibility. But maybe with enough examples, you could extrapolate.
Posted by Amanda29 on August 11, 2008, at 21:02:48
In reply to How do you know when to say when?, posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 14:51:03
This is off the topic but I didnt want to start another thread. I just recently read a post where someone was blasting the whole psychology section. I personally feel to blame for a lot of it because I have been posting a lot on different things, about transference feelings for my therapist, about finding out where my therapist lives, about knowing what is too much to say to a therapist, about not telling the whole truth to my therapist...a lot of people know that my therapist calls me his patient and not his client. which personally I like better than client. My psychologist does have a PH.D which does make him a DR. Just not a medical doctor, so if he wants to consider his clients..patients than so be it. I have gotten my feelings hurt beause I was coming here for support...and ultimately I have gotten it >.I just feel threatened by what was said. Something that was said was that therapy should be that you go in ..have therapy, shake hands, and then leave and "move on". That is easier said than done, and I am one that struggles with that daily. I feel that therapy is different for every single person and there is NO ONE WAY TO DO THERAPY. You can't do therapy wrong, and even though I am having trouble, I still believe that I am OK..and that my therapist is ok with me.
I do not appreciate people that get on psychobabble and accuse others of speaking wrongly. I am a very fragile, mentally ill person that is looking for acceptance and support and most of the time I do get it..actually almost all of the time. I have only had one other attack on me on psychobabble and that was like 4 years ago.
I cannot handle it and this is going to take me some time to get over it.I hope that no one else is feeling attacked.
I am going to take a few days and let my issues rest. (I only use psychobabble when I am at my wits end. WHen I am doing poorly, I come on this site to get help and advice..and it just so happens that I am not well and I do need support.
But after what I read from a recent post, I am too scared to post anything.I do however appreciate everyone that has replied to my posts...No one that has replied to my posts has hurt me, it was just one that I happened to read. Luckily that person has been asked to stay off line for a few weeks.
Take care and I hope to be posting again soon.
Amanda
Posted by obsidian on August 11, 2008, at 21:18:26
In reply to Re: How do you know when to say when? » Amanda29, posted by Amanda29 on August 11, 2008, at 21:02:48
I am sorry to hear that you're feeling this way right now :-(
please know that you are appreciated and that you will surely find much acceptance and understanding here
it's too bad you feel shot down when you were talking about just how much you could say...VERY unfortunate that that post you refer to happened around the same time
I really think you offer a lot of interesting and helpful things to share
be well,
Sid
Posted by Deputy Dinah on August 11, 2008, at 21:33:38
In reply to Re: How do you know when to say when? » Amanda29, posted by Amanda29 on August 11, 2008, at 21:02:48
> I do not appreciate people that get on psychobabble and accuse others of speaking wrongly.
I'm sorry, Amanda. I realize that you're feeling hurt and upset, but I'm going to have to ask you not post anything that could lead others, including others who have been blocked, to feel accused or put down. Dr. Bob asks that we be sensitive to the feelings of others, even if ours are hurt.
If you're in doubt about whether something you write will be in accordance with the civility guidelines, it might be helpful to babblemail someone to review it for you.
I really am sorry that you feel hurt, and I hope you feel safe enough to post here when you wish to.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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