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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 12:38:49
Ok. I am going to sound like a stalker but I am not..so please don't think that I am. But, that being said, I was looking up my previous Psychiatrist's phone number because I need to get my medication list from her, and I happened to realize that I could look up the address and phone number of my therapist now...so I did. Come to find out, he lives very close to me. So, I got in my car and drove over to the neighborhood where he lives. I coudnt find the house but as I was driving out of the subdivision, I thought I saw his car and the doors were open which meant that he was close by..so I got freaked and drove away. The last thing I want is for him to see me driving by.
My reasons for wanting to find out more information about him is because I want to be involved in his life which I know is not going to happen. Plus, finding out where he lives, and realizing that he is so close is like a comfort for me. Even though he will never drop everything and come running over to my house if I need something, for whatever reason I am comforted knowing that he is close by.
I told him previously that I almost drove by his previous residence before he moved and he said he wouldnt have minded....but, I mind. I dont want him to think I am stalking him because that isnt the case at all.
Another thing...(this is on a different topic..) but, this past Friday, I was talking to him about psycho babble and he wanted to check it out and was going to go online with me and look at the site...I FREAKED OUT...I am really honest on this site and there are things that I say that I dont want him to read, and so I asked him to not read them and he has respected that...I sent him a couple of posts but not many. I use this site to vent and as my journal and to me that is private...even though this is the internet and ANYONE can read what I type...I have to keep that in mind.. :)
Posted by stellabystarlight on August 10, 2008, at 13:24:21
In reply to Found out where Therapist Lives..., posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 12:38:49
I also know where mine lives too, but I don't think it's stalking...just curiosity. I would also like to see where Brad Pitt and other stars live, but I wouldn't want to stalk them. Your reasons for wanting to know where your T lives sounds "normal" to me.
What I'm surprised by is you letting him know about psychobabble. I would die if my T read any of my posts! It's great that you trust your T enough to tell him so much!
:)stellabystarlight
Posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 13:27:53
In reply to Re: Found out where Therapist Lives... » Amanda29, posted by stellabystarlight on August 10, 2008, at 13:24:21
We have a good therapeutic relationship but ...BUT, there are things on here that I dont want him to read...so I am putting a lot of trust in him to only read what I sent him...if he starts actually searching the website..I am in big trouble!!
Even if he read something on here that I didnt want him to read, I think ultimately he would be "ok"...I just want to aviod as much embarrassment as I can. You know?
Posted by Phillipa on August 10, 2008, at 14:02:01
In reply to Re: Found out where Therapist Lives... » stellabystarlight, posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 13:27:53
I knew where my pdoc not therapist lived and he knew it years ago and he didn't mind at all. Phillipa
Posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 14:23:00
In reply to Re: Found out where Therapist Lives..., posted by Phillipa on August 10, 2008, at 14:02:01
My problem is that now that I know where he lives..I have gone searching for his house. I cannot find it, but the fact that I am looking for it bothers me. I need to just leave him alone.
I sent him an email and told him that I did find out where he lived, that I only did it because I wanted to know and that I wasnt going to end up stalking him...that i know that he has a private personal life and I do not and will not get in the way of it. I just needed to know...I think it goes along with my transference issues...but, and that I probably shouldnt have said anything to him but I tend to tell him everything so I thought he should know.
Posted by raisinb on August 10, 2008, at 14:34:58
In reply to Re: Found out where Therapist Lives... » Phillipa, posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 14:23:00
I know where mine lives, too. It was important to me *never* to run into her, so I found I was just looking over my shoulder all the time, in every neighborhood, because she might live there. I am glad I did it. Now that I know, honestly, it's a big weight off my shoulders. I can just avoid that particular area, rather than feeling nervous all the time.
I've never told her that I know because I feel guilty about it--I know it's overstepping in a way. From our history together, I think she'd be great about it, but I feel bad. I want to protect my therapy from knowing about her real life. And I don't want her to see more of me than I want.
Posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 14:38:38
In reply to Re: Found out where Therapist Lives... » Amanda29, posted by raisinb on August 10, 2008, at 14:34:58
My T I think will be ok with it because he tells people bits and pieces of his personal life so that we can realize that he is "human" and that he does make mistakes like everyone else. He just moved into this house not long ago though so I feel like it is none of my business to know. But of course I couldnt help myself. I am reading about therapists that terminate over people that "stalk" them..and I hope that he wont consider this...although he told me a few weeks ago that he will never terminate me or abandon me as a therapist...so that makes me think that I will be ok.
Posted by no_rose_garden on August 10, 2008, at 16:10:09
In reply to Re: Found out where Therapist Lives... » raisinb, posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 14:38:38
1. it sounds like you have a really nice relationship w/ your therapist.
2. I've had 3 counselors and known where they all live and the phone numbers (except one). One actually lives in my apartment complex...i only saw him once for an intake and after i saw him in the laundry rm. and tried to be friends, i decided i should have somebody else. I still wave when i see him, though and LOVE to see him.
i was recently housesitting for somebody and it ended up being 0.2 miles from my current counselor. :) I never saw him though :(
When i told my current one i knew where he lived, i told him i was sorry and that it was probably creepy. He said that he thinks I'm just trying to be closer to him...i guess it's ok, as long as i don't actually DO anything.
Posted by Rigby on August 10, 2008, at 17:45:50
In reply to Found out where Therapist Lives..., posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 12:38:49
I also found out where my therapist lives. Turns out she lives in this enormous house worth a lot of money. When I saw it I immediately wanted a reduction in my rate! ;)
I never told me therapist about it as I think she would be pretty flipped out (although it's relatively easy to figure it out online.) The last time I did a Google search on her and told her about it (it was disasterous for her--lots of dirt on her from an ex) she decided I wanted more time w/ her so pitched me on two sessions a week (I pay out of pocket so forget that.)
Anyway, I do think you can cross a line with a therapist and I do think it's somewhat naive to think that we can do and say *anything* as patients and have it be okay. I never wanted to be "fired" by my therapist so I just never disclosed too much about what I've seen and what I've known just because, as mentioned, I think I have a pretty touchy therapist when it comes to this type of thing.
Posted by backseatdriver on August 10, 2008, at 20:08:04
In reply to Re: Found out where Therapist Lives..., posted by Rigby on August 10, 2008, at 17:45:50
Your post reminded me of something: earlier this year I discovered where my therapist lives. Modest house. Not threatening. I was delighted.
Then I discovered he had a second, much nicer house, in a better part of the neighborhood.
Then I learned I was wrong about him owning the first house. He really does live in a fancy house in a fancy area.
I was processing this for a couple of weeks before I could let it go. Hard to believe I spent all that time -- or any time -- preoccupied by it. One thing I learned: I need to chill out, and not be so competitive with him.
His wife, that's another issue. Still working on it.
Pounding on the door of Camp Comfort,
BSD
Posted by antigua3 on August 10, 2008, at 20:35:26
In reply to Found out where Therapist Lives..., posted by Amanda29 on August 10, 2008, at 12:38:49
I like this thread. Ts should know that so much information is available on the Internet today that it's almost impossible not to know if curiousity strikes.
I do know where my T lives because her office is in the lower level of her house, and you have to go through the front door to get there!
It's disturbing to me, sometimes, as it falls into the "more than I want to know" category.
antigua
This is the end of the thread.
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