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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sunnydays on June 26, 2008, at 0:05:15
I posted this on the main board in response to a thread I had, but no one will probably see it because it's up so far.
My pdoc got mad at me today. I'm not trying to be difficult, I just take some coaxing because I'm very scared to take meds. She basically told me to take the meds because she says so. Which is fine, and I will, but she sounded so mad. Or exasperated might be a better word.
I think she thinks I'm not giving them time to work, it's not that, it's just that I feel like my symptoms have gotten worse since I started taking this med, more anxiety and more OCD compulsions and less sleep, and my T actually was wondering if I might be on the manic continuum because my need for sleep has decreased so drastically (I'm definitely not totally manic though).
I just hate this. I can't switch pdocs because this is the one that's free at the counseling center at my school. And the other one who works there I already switched away from because we didn't work that well together and I didn't feel like she was being proactive enough with my meds and really knew what she was doing. So I'm stuck with this one. We got along fine I thought until today.
I just never saw it coming. And the little girl part of me got so scared, and it got hard to talk. I did make sure I told her everything, though, which I'm proud of because sometimes I don't and my T told me make sure I tell her everything. He has acknowledged she's not the most empathetic person, but I can deal with that. It's the being frustrated I don't get. I really really am NOT trying to be difficult, I just get scared.
So now I have to take Xanax until further notice basically to sleep. I thought a week should have been plenty, but she acted like that really wasn't long enough and I shouldn't have stopped taking it. But I'm scared of getting dependent. She said it won't happen, she PROMISED it won't happen, even if I take it for two months. Which I don't get.
I don't like this. I am being a rebel tonight and not taking the Xanax because I don't want to and because I want to talk to my T tomorrow first. I just wish I was a normal person.
sunnydays
Posted by seldomseen on June 26, 2008, at 5:55:48
In reply to pdoc yelled at me (sort of), posted by sunnydays on June 26, 2008, at 0:05:15
Well, there are some non-benzo based treatments for sleep. I take trazadone and it is a sleep bomb for me.
However, if there is some anxiety as well, then the benzos are your best bet (IMO), especially if you are in the start up phase of a medication.
I also think your doc is right, Xanax is a safe, short term therapy for sleep/anxiety.
Seldom
Posted by backseatdriver on June 26, 2008, at 7:44:00
In reply to Re: pdoc yelled at me (sort of) » sunnydays, posted by seldomseen on June 26, 2008, at 5:55:48
I've had pdocs yell at me. It's not pleasant, and it is inadvisable to yell back. You don't have to take what she prescribes -- she's not allowed to force anything down your throat.
That said, Xanax can really be helpful for sleep.
Posted by sunnydays on June 26, 2008, at 9:49:07
In reply to Re: pdoc yelled at me (sort of), posted by backseatdriver on June 26, 2008, at 7:44:00
I know Xanax can be helpful for sleep, but I really thought a month of taking it put me at serious risk for dependency, but she says not.
Just the feelings along with the situation are more overwhelming, and the fact that it seemed like the frustration came out of nowhere and that I was trying to do exactly what she said.
But I see T today, so I will talk to him then.
sunnydays
Posted by Abby Cunningham on June 26, 2008, at 10:44:03
In reply to Re: pdoc yelled at me (sort of), posted by sunnydays on June 26, 2008, at 9:49:07
YOU are correct! one month is definitely more than enough to get you dependent on xanax. Two weeks is enough for some people! Arrgh, I would ditch her if I were you. I am hooked on xanax iatrogenically (by a doctor) and I absolutely detest doctors who say what yours said. Let HER take it for a month or so and then stop abruptly.
Just my two cents.> I know Xanax can be helpful for sleep, but I really thought a month of taking it put me at serious risk for dependency, but she says not.
>
> Just the feelings along with the situation are more overwhelming, and the fact that it seemed like the frustration came out of nowhere and that I was trying to do exactly what she said.
>
> But I see T today, so I will talk to him then.
>
> sunnydays
Posted by rskontos on June 26, 2008, at 12:45:43
In reply to Re: pdoc yelled at me (sort of), posted by sunnydays on June 26, 2008, at 9:49:07
Suuunydays, that was a concern for me when my pdoc first prescribed xanax for my high level of anxiety. He first prescribed it as needed but I never took it so he amended it to every four hours. Which is good because I never take it that often but I will take one during the day if I need it and then one at night to sleep because my anxiety was through the roof and I had a hard time sleeping. My voices, my thoughts it was all too much. The thing that xanax has done is calm me enough for me to learn what anxiety is. I have lived with it too long and never recognized it for what it was. Now I know and now I can take the xanax as needed. But I needed that calm, that sleep that more or less xanax around the clock for a while to learn just how stressed, and anxious I really was. And when it hit me, it was an AHHHAA moment. I thought to myself one evening as I was falling to sleep, prior to taking the xanax, I am extremely anxious. I grabbed the xanax took it and finally got calmed enough to fall alseep. I am now so much better at knowing when I am so anxious I need it and when I am only slightly. I am now using other methods to try and calm myself before I need it. So maybe you might try it like suggested. I am not hooked on it.
I fretted about becoming dependent too. My p-doc informed me I would not get dependent. I think they do some sort of clinical assessment first. Mine said just the fact I was so worried about it proved to him I would not. Now I have a high tolerance for meds that usually are those that people get dependent on. I used to be prescribed vicodin and oxycotin for migraines and never got dependent on them as they did not work well for my migraines. Maybe that is one reason. Whatever it is I am never tempted to go beyond what my pdoc has told me to take. I rarely take more than one, unless it is a extremely upsetting situation. I have had those and done so but rarely.
I just wanted to tell you my experience. Which has been positive using xanax. I have gone a week or longer without it. No side effects.
just my experience. good luck
rsk
Posted by Phillipa on June 26, 2008, at 13:29:16
In reply to Re: pdoc yelled at me (sort of) » sunnydays, posted by rskontos on June 26, 2008, at 12:45:43
Rsk excellent post and I fully agree. It's the way the meds usually work. You find your anxiety down so you don't take it but without sleep the body is stressed and that is not good. Love Phillipa
Posted by rskontos on June 26, 2008, at 14:41:10
In reply to Re: pdoc yelled at me (sort of) » rskontos, posted by Phillipa on June 26, 2008, at 13:29:16
Thanks Phillipa,
I just found out the hard way, that meds can work. But I will admit that my pdoc had to work hard to convince me. Luckily for me, my pdoc found convincing me a worthwhile task. I just wanted Sunndydays to hear a different scenario than the typical one of getting hooked and its a bad drug scenario. I know that many people do get hooked or it doesn't work. But for some, it really helps and it has me.
So, now I am even relooking into an AD to help with my energy level. So who knows maybe I will get some relief.
I did though take my time, do alot of research, and now I finally asked my pdoc about an AD and he agreed it might help so we shall see.
Time and patience the true test. If only that were in a bottle.
rsk
Posted by seldomseen on June 26, 2008, at 15:35:20
In reply to Re: pdoc yelled at me (sort of) » sunnydays, posted by rskontos on June 26, 2008, at 12:45:43
I was that way with klonopin, and with prozac now that I think about it.
With prozac, I didn't know how life could be without crushing depression.
With klonopin, the anxiety, racing thoughts and - believe it or not - constant fear is just gone and to think I fought my doc for 6 years over the benzos.
I've been on them now for some time and frankly, I don't care if I'm dependent or not. I'm just glad the fear is gone - actually grateful might be a better word.
Seldom
Posted by rskontos on June 26, 2008, at 17:50:27
In reply to Re: pdoc yelled at me (sort of) » rskontos, posted by seldomseen on June 26, 2008, at 15:35:20
Seldom, yup I know what you mean. I just really never knew how anxious I was. I was for my whole life more anxious than depressed. But until the depression hit and hit hard I did not seek help. I kept my secrets and the anxiety, even the panic attacks I did not know them for what they were. It was not until I saw this pdoc as my therapist that he said those are panic attacks and you need something for them. No one should have to deal with that. Your anxiety has hit an all-time high and now you are dealing with panic attacks. I just never thought about what was going on, just tried to deal with it. I remember being in my barn trying to clean it and it took me about 2 hours longer than usual because of an ongoing panic attack. I thought I would die out in that barn. My little foal at the time kept trying to come over and cheer me up, but I was hurting so much even she could not help.:( and she is quite precious too.
Anyway, I agree I don't really care if I am dependent or not, I am relieved and grateful is a good word too.
I hope the new ad will help with my energy and motivation levels. My pdoc thinks so. He is calling it in so I can start prior to seeing him next week.
so wish me luck.
I just hope Sunnydays gets some relief.
rsk
Posted by sunnydays on June 26, 2008, at 23:09:52
In reply to Re: pdoc yelled at me (sort of) » seldomseen, posted by rskontos on June 26, 2008, at 17:50:27
Thanks everyone. I'll try respond more later. Your responses were really great and very helpful. I talked to T - he's gone next week and then moving his office so in two weeks I'll be seeing him, but at a whole new place. He promised he's taking most of his stuff with him, though, just new furniture. It makes me sad though, and he said, "A lot of important things happened in this room." Which is true.
He did say he had had a similar experience with her where they had kind of a rough conversation and then the sort of apology at the end. And he said that even if she's having a bad day she shouldn't take it out on me, that it's not fair to me. But he did say he thinks it's her, not me, and that she probably wasn't frustrated with me, it's just that she's 'prickly' lately and it's a personality thing with her. So I felt a little better, although it still hurt my feelings a lot. But he said her pharmacological advice is still sound, so we agreed I'd do what she said.
Lots of feelings and trying to hold off the sadness because I don't want to get totally overwhelmed. But at the same time, I don't want to bury it. And he can't even call me or anything and won't get messages when he's away. He has someone on call, but I don't think I would call her. I do sort of know her from a group experience she led, and she would be nice if I did call, but I just probably wouldn't.
sunnydays
Uggh.
Posted by Nadezda on June 27, 2008, at 8:50:51
In reply to Re: pdoc yelled at me (sort of), posted by sunnydays on June 26, 2008, at 23:09:52
Just a brief word about dependency on xanax, sunny. I've taken small amounts for ages to help me sleep and also for anxiety and I don't get dependent, really.
My pdoc, whom I really trust and who's very experienced with xanax dependency, says that at lower doses, there isn't any danger of addiction. You have to get to much higher doses for those problems to kick in. After a long time-- much longer than a few weeks-- it might be less effective. At that point (if you're still taking them) you could take a holiday-- but it's not really much of a dependency. Maybe for a day or two after you stop them--again, if that happens-- you might have a bit more trouble sleeping-- but it's not more than that. At least in my case-- which I think is not unusual.
The last thing you have to worry about, right now is the xanax dependency, though. So you can really put your mind at ease, about that, at least,
Sorry your T is going to be unavailable for a while. I know that's hard.
Nadezda
Posted by Dinah on June 27, 2008, at 18:24:41
In reply to pdoc yelled at me (sort of), posted by sunnydays on June 26, 2008, at 0:05:15
I decided long ago that I didn't need to like my psychiatrist, or understand him, or enjoy my visits to him. I just haven't met any I like overmuch.
I've been on Klonopin for over ten years. My doseage has actually gone down rather than up. And I've stopped it from time to time for long enough to get through the withdrawal. And yes, there is a period of withdrawal or discontinuation. I have very interesting temporal lobe experiences during that time, and tend to get rather hypomanic. But when it's all over and it's out of my system, I find I have a recurrence of the three am waking that originally caused me to take it. Apparently three am is a magic time of fear for me.
It *is* possible to get addicted to benzos. With my family history of addiction and personality that tends to addiction, I have been vigilant. Many many people use benzos, short or long term, without being addicted. It's something to monitor in yourself, and I think it's wise of you to keep an eye on it. But there's no point in refusing to use a chain saw to chop down a dangerous tree because people can get hurt with chain saws. Insomnia and anxiety has its own side effects, which can be at least as harmful as responsible use of medications.
This is the end of the thread.
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