Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Annierose on April 25, 2008, at 17:11:14
I enjoyed reading the above exchange between Dinah and Twinleaf. I completely understood what they were both conveying. Language and our physical senses are so in-tuned with the therapist so very small changes can be noticed/felt and (maybe) not spoken.
I feel close to my therapist right now. And it's not like I didn't feel close in the previous years. But the intimacy of our sessions, our sense of understanding what the other is communicating is spot on and difficult to put into words.
She said something on Thursday that made me smile and I wish I could replay the exchange in my head to get an exact quote. I was telling her about something I read in a parenting magazine --- that the teenage years help the child learn to cope with feelings of sadness, loneliness and frustration. Not that the other years aren't working on these emotions as well - but in those years - teens start pulling away from their parents more and more, making decisions on their own and with their peers.
Anyway my therapist jumped in and said something like this - "Exactly. As a teenager pulls away from their parents, they still have this wonderful reservoir of their parental love inside of them, helping them, hopefully to make good choices or to help them when they are lonely or sad. When they are away at college and they get lonely, they know inside themselves they are loved ... and that carries them through it. So what I want for you, it to feel that love, to know the truth of about yourself, that you are kind and thoughtful and smart and beautiful ... all those things your mom and dad didn't tell you ... but know it's true."
That session will carry me through. I understand the bigger picture that she was painting too. Instead of looking for external reassurances of my self worth, she wants me to trust a new truth about my being.
Posted by TherapyGirl on April 25, 2008, at 17:26:50
In reply to A nice session yesterday, posted by Annierose on April 25, 2008, at 17:11:14
That is beautiful, Annie. Thanks so much for sharing it.
Posted by Dinah on April 25, 2008, at 19:34:33
In reply to A nice session yesterday, posted by Annierose on April 25, 2008, at 17:11:14
It sounds as if you're moving to that next level of therapy, Annierose. It really is nice, isn't it?
And that really *was* beautiful.
Posted by twinleaf on April 25, 2008, at 20:17:32
In reply to A nice session yesterday, posted by Annierose on April 25, 2008, at 17:11:14
That is so wonderful to hear. It's very encouraging, for us all, to hear how a long-term therapy relationship like yours (? five years?) deepens and becomes a source of joy and strength as well as a source of growth and health. You seem to be describing those unspoken "moments of meeting" so well, when what is actually said gets mixed in with all sorts of powerful non-verbal communications between the two of you.
I think people in long-term therapy relationships, like you and Dinah, are in very good positions to let the rest of us know what can happen. I hope you both, and TherapyGirl. Daisy, and I'm sure many others who don't come to mind right now will share more of what is happening. For example, Dinah, you often allude to how things are changing, and how much you like what is happening- this always makes me want to know more! Maybe you'll tell us a little more over time.
Posted by MissK on April 25, 2008, at 22:13:00
In reply to Re: A nice session yesterday » Annierose, posted by twinleaf on April 25, 2008, at 20:17:32
>and strength as well as a source of growth and health.
Well, strength, growth and health can also mean not needing a therapist to live one's life too. Afterall, most people live their lives perfectly fine and fully without one.
Posted by sunnydays on April 25, 2008, at 22:43:24
In reply to Re: A nice session yesterday » twinleaf, posted by MissK on April 25, 2008, at 22:13:00
MissK, your comments lately have seemed to me to say that you disagree with being in long-term therapy. I could be misinterpreting your remarks, but that is the impression I got. I am curious as to why, and why it is so important to tell other people who are happy with their therapy that you disagree with their approach?
sunnydays
Posted by MissK on April 26, 2008, at 7:15:49
In reply to Re: A nice session yesterday » MissK, posted by sunnydays on April 25, 2008, at 22:43:24
Yes, you are misinterpreting my remarks. I just wanted to point out that strength, health and growth can also mean not doing therapy. However, Annierose's thread is not the place the do it. I realize I have probably taken away from the lovely and heartfelt experience she had with her therapist here. I've had a few heartfelt moments with my T too and should have restrained my comment as it was not appropriate for this thread in my own personal view.
So, to Annierose, I apologize if my thread diminished that for you.
If anyone else wants to say something to me about my post here, I would ask if you could Babblemail me so that we discuss it off the thread.
Posted by MissK on April 26, 2008, at 7:23:35
In reply to Re: A nice session yesterday » sunnydays, posted by MissK on April 26, 2008, at 7:15:49
Posted by Annierose on April 26, 2008, at 10:00:43
In reply to Re: A nice session yesterday » sunnydays, posted by MissK on April 26, 2008, at 7:15:49
I imagine someone that had no need for a stronger inner core, growth and improved mental health, would have no need for therapy.
I am one of those people that needed help to figure out stuff so I could find more of those good inner qualities.
I think of Dorothy in the red shoes. She needed an adventure to realize she had the strength all along.
Posted by MissK on April 26, 2008, at 10:14:19
In reply to Re: A nice session yesterday, posted by Annierose on April 26, 2008, at 10:00:43
>I imagine someone that had no need for a stronger inner core, growth and improved mental health, would have no need for therapy.
I prefer to think of it that some, and wonderfully many probably got those things from very young and so have no need for it. For those who, for whatever reason, did not or not completely, then I certainly am glad there is such a thing as therapy to help with those things you've mentioned.
Posted by Daisym on April 26, 2008, at 17:13:33
In reply to A nice session yesterday, posted by Annierose on April 25, 2008, at 17:11:14
I think allowing the closeness is a really hard thing to do and I'm proud of you for taking the risk. It is so great that she understand so completely how important all the little things are and how she can read what you tell her and respond to it (most of the time anyways.:) )
What I also really like, is that she has a sense that you need an image of yourself as beautiful inside and outside - that all of you is wonderful and lovely. Most little girls get this early on - they are made to feel special and beautiful by their parents. When it is missing, a lot of confidence in who we are and what we look like, goes missing. I think so many people think it is only about our internal selves, but I believe that it is also about our external selves - knowing we won't be rejected because of our looks or style as well as our personalities.
I'm glad things are going well. It makes me miss my own therapist even more.
Posted by Fallsfall on April 26, 2008, at 17:26:51
In reply to A nice session yesterday, posted by Annierose on April 25, 2008, at 17:11:14
She put it so wonderfully. I hope that you can feel that you are "kind and thoughtful and smart and beautiful" - because you truly are!
This is the end of the thread.
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