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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sunnydays on April 8, 2008, at 22:51:01
I felt very disconnected in session today. We talked around it some, about it some, but *it* just wasn't there. And then when I left I got so so sad. And tonight I feel like he doesn't care about me anymore, which I know isn't true. Why am I such an empty black pit of wanting-ness? He can't give me what I want, so there's no point in wanting anything at all. Tell me how to stop wanting.
sunnydays
Posted by Daisym on April 9, 2008, at 0:21:53
In reply to disconnected...wanting...sad, posted by sunnydays on April 8, 2008, at 22:51:01
Sorry - don't know how to stop wanting. I think it is part of the human condition.
I hate those sessions when you never get to "it" and you leave feeling wholly dissatisfied and wanting a do-over. There should be a rule - so many do-over sessions per year. Or a follow-up phone call after a bad session. Or something...
He does care about you. Caring doesn't just evaporate like that - if he isn't at his best, you don't stop caring about him, do you?
I'm sure Friday will be much better. Until then, hang in there.
Posted by LadyBug on April 9, 2008, at 11:44:36
In reply to Re: disconnected...wanting...sad, posted by Daisym on April 9, 2008, at 0:21:53
I don't know what to say to you other than I've been through exactly what you are going through. All I can say is after 11 years spent with the same T, I don't feel so much neediness. It takes time and it's painful to go through. It hurts, but I'm sure your T cares a lot about you. It's amazing how much we care about if they care for us and what they think of us. Hang in there. It really does get better with time, in my case, lots of time.
LadyBug
Posted by frida on April 9, 2008, at 12:51:08
In reply to disconnected...wanting...sad, posted by sunnydays on April 8, 2008, at 22:51:01
hi sunnydays,
I just hate those sessions :-( I am sorry you are feeling disconnected...
it's true that it gets a little easier with time...though my T told me yesterday how i still need to 'check' that she still cares, wants to see me, i haven't lost her and our bond, and the trust we've built...it's hard to sustain..i find it really hard to feel that the caring remains and i don't lose it because one session doesn't go well.
she has reassured over and over and it does get easier..and now sometimes i can even laugh with her about this, my need to know if she's close , if she isn't, why, how i test this all the time.
your T does care, and you don't lose that caring because one session you can't feel connected, but i know it's really hard to feel it.
i find that something that helps is remember all the times i did feel connected, and everything we've built...that doesn't go away just like that.hope you feel connected again soon,
Frida
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