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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Quintal on April 4, 2008, at 16:16:00
My social worker just left me the email address of another guy who had a psychotic episode recently, and is also exploring possible spiritual interpretations. She thinks we may be on the same wavelength, and if so maybe we could be friends or even form a support group for similar-minded people in this area. At the moment there are no support groups, and access to talking therapies is very much restricted - waiting lists of over a year are commonplace. So people are basically stranded and isolated once they leave the psychiatric hospital. It seems 'people who experience psychosis' have difficulty forming and maintaining friendships, and the resulting isolation makes them even more likely to relapse.
Anyway, I'm really nervous about initiating contact with this guy. He's my age, but that doesn't mean we'll have anything in common - I'm a pretty strange person and I'm not very sociable at the best of times. I just don't know what to say. I don't even know if he really wants to talk to me. Maybe he's just been pushed into this by his care worker like I have? It could be awkward. Still, I suppose it's less embarrassing than being forced to meet face-to-face and struggling to keep the conversation going. Any social butterflies among you have good advice? I don't suppose this is a situation one encounters very often, but still, any adivce would be appreciated.
Q
Posted by DAisym on April 4, 2008, at 17:27:19
In reply to Not sure what to do....., posted by Quintal on April 4, 2008, at 16:16:00
I really hope you contact him. I imagine he is just as nervous to contact you and making the first move is a huge gift.
We have parent-to-parent connections a lot in my business. These folks don't know each other but what they have in common is a disability - either themselves or their child. They talk about this - about how it has effected their life, how to get services, what works and what doesn't and sometimes just how alone they feel. Having someone else who sort-of understands is really helpful most of the time.
You might start with, "X thought we might find talking helpful. I'm not sure if it will be, but I figured if I could use some support, so could you."
Think about what you would want from this contact. It might be you want to feel less isolated. It might be you want resources. It might be that you want to help him. But knowing what you want is one way to direct things. And then I think it is helpful to know what you don't want. You don't want someone who only tells really morose stories, you don't want someone who is hateful or angry, you don't want someone who needs you to move in and do their laundry. Having preset boundaries for yourself is really helpful.
I'm glad you are considering this idea. Social support is something we all need, and we are all scared of initiating it.
Good luck, let me know how it goes.
Posted by llurpsienoodle on April 4, 2008, at 19:26:44
In reply to Re: Not sure what to do..... » Quintal, posted by DAisym on April 4, 2008, at 17:27:19
Hey Q,
If it's any consolation, you seem like a really interesting and sociable person online, so you should give yourself more credit!I think Daisy's got some great ideas re. boundaries and such.
Just tell yourself- I only have to initiate first contact ONCE. after that you'll know more about what to expect.I'm sad to hear that there are so few resources for you :( Feel free to "lean on babble" until you get some more help IRL.
-Ll
Posted by Phillipa on April 5, 2008, at 12:53:05
In reply to Re: Not sure what to do....., posted by llurpsienoodle on April 4, 2008, at 19:26:44
Amazingly it's the same in this state unless AA no support groups. They tried one and it pooped out. They have divorce groups and they don't go well either my Daugther tried one and she's very social. People isolate more and more so lucky there is a chance to start one in your area so good luck. Phillipa
Posted by Kath on April 6, 2008, at 16:47:02
In reply to Not sure what to do....., posted by Quintal on April 4, 2008, at 16:16:00
> Anyway, I'm really nervous about initiating contact with this guy. He's my age, but that doesn't mean we'll have anything in common - I'm a pretty strange person and I'm not very sociable at the best of times. I just don't know what to say. I don't even know if he really wants to talk to me. Maybe he's just been pushed into this by his care worker like I have? It could be awkward. Still, I suppose it's less embarrassing than being forced to meet face-to-face and struggling to keep the conversation going.
Hi Quintal,
I have found that recently I will 'preface' talking about something uncomfortable by telling the person how I'm feeling.
I would strongly suggest saying all the things you mentioned about to this person. I think that this is really important.
Just think - you'd be giving them a real gift, in that you'd be letting them know what you're thinking & how you're feeling!!!!!
And those are very important things in relating with people.
This is someone you don't know. You have no need to care what they think of you either. For those reasons, I don't think you put yourself at risk of being hurt by being open!
I've also sent you a babblemail that I hope you'll read & perhaps get back to me on.
I wish good things for you. This sounds like it could be something that might help you & would be a great resource, I think.
hugs, Kath
Posted by Sigismund on April 6, 2008, at 19:47:35
In reply to Not sure what to do....., posted by Quintal on April 4, 2008, at 16:16:00
I'd go ahead and do it.
He might well be suspicious, of course.
But the idea of seeing things like psychosis from a spiritual point of view is worth taking a risk for.
Same with depersonalisation, or other problems people face.
Posted by Quintal on April 6, 2008, at 20:29:52
In reply to Re: Not sure what to do..... » Quintal, posted by DAisym on April 4, 2008, at 17:27:19
Yes, you're probably right about him being as nervous as I am. I will try to draft a few copies tomorrow if I feel up to it. The problem is that I have so little energy to look after myself, that I don't have time for friends, much less other people's issues. I have another Schizophrenic friend and she has been a real burden in the past, and I couldn't cope with that. I'm just a little wary of something like that happenieng again.
Thank you for the advice, it was much appreciated. Sorry if this is a little garbled - I've just taken my sleeping pill.
Q
Posted by Quintal on April 6, 2008, at 20:34:23
In reply to Re: Not sure what to do....., posted by llurpsienoodle on April 4, 2008, at 19:26:44
Why thank you Ms Noodle! Nobody has ever referred to me as interesting and sociable before... I'm more like Rain Man/Forest Gump in real life.
Q
Posted by Quintal on April 6, 2008, at 20:39:17
In reply to Re: Not sure what to do....., posted by Phillipa on April 5, 2008, at 12:53:05
I really can't imagine setting up my own support group Phillipa - in fact I'd rather sit and drive 10" nails into my arms. I can't think of any worse torture. I mean, it's not something I'm seriously considering doing - I've just been asked to, so I make all the appropriate noises and hope they'll go away. Really, I just want to be left alone in peace, not have to deal with all this hassle.
Q
Posted by Quintal on April 6, 2008, at 20:43:48
In reply to QUINTAL.... » Quintal, posted by Kath on April 6, 2008, at 16:47:02
Yeah, I shouldn't care what he might think, but I do. I suppose it could be a source of friendship, but that's not realistic. I don't think that's what I want either. I just want to be left alone. I'll get back to your babblemail later.
Q
Posted by Quintal on April 6, 2008, at 20:46:14
In reply to Re: Not sure what to do....., posted by Sigismund on April 6, 2008, at 19:47:35
Yeah, I just can't be bothered. I don't think I really care one way or the other to be honest.
Q
This is the end of the thread.
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