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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by star008 on February 14, 2008, at 22:46:46
sorry i haven't been around. just too much work lately..too depressed.. i don't have any hope right now. i read all the stuff on the net and it all says that depression is treatable but for me it hasn't been. i go to T I see p-doc.. has been going on for years.. have been on meds for over ten years and in therapy even longer. it doesn't get better.. all i get is short breaks from feeling like total s**t.. doesn't make sense to me to live like this... what is the point of sitting around feeling like s**t and waiting till i die? like i am here doing time and just waiting till it is over. why would i quit smoking and start taking care of myself better?? Why would i even want to??So i can live longer?? i have tried and tried and for me derpression has not been treatable and i wish all the websites would stop saying that it is and making things all bright the cheerful and saying there is hope..
i am sorry. i know this is negative but it is how i feel. i am tired and don't want to continue to live anymore right now.
Posted by Phillipa on February 14, 2008, at 23:43:09
In reply to lost all hope.. tired of everything. negative trig, posted by star008 on February 14, 2008, at 22:46:46
Well you know where to find me and you are safe now I hope if not will you be safe? Is someone with you. Star you are a star and shine brightly in the sky and bet the pdoc has some suggestions to help you. I do care and so do lots of others. Love Phillipa
Posted by Sigismund on February 15, 2008, at 2:41:29
In reply to lost all hope.. tired of everything. negative trig, posted by star008 on February 14, 2008, at 22:46:46
>sorry i haven't been around. just too much work lately..too depressed..
You can work!! I'm impressed.
>i don't have any hope right now.
Well, yes.
>i read all the stuff on the net and it all says that depression is treatable but for me it hasn't been.
That's my opinion too.
>i go to T I see p-doc.. has been going on for years.. have been on meds for over ten years and in therapy even longer. it doesn't get better..
Absolutely.
>all i get is short breaks from feeling like total s**t.. doesn't make sense to me to live like this... what is the point of sitting around feeling like s**t and waiting till i die? like i am here doing time and just waiting till it is over. why would i quit smoking and start taking care of myself better?? Why would i even want to??So i can live longer??
No, not so you can live longer (you should not have to fear that, surely?) Just so you might feel a little better while you have to be around.
>i have tried and tried and for me derpression has not been treatable and i wish all the websites would stop saying that it is and making things all bright the cheerful and saying there is hope..
Yeah, a part (at least) of me thinks that hope sucks.
>i am sorry. i know this is negative but it is how i feel. i am tired and don't want to continue to live anymore right now.
At any rate, I enjoyed your post.
Posted by rskontos on February 15, 2008, at 7:08:52
In reply to lost all hope.. tired of everything. negative trig, posted by star008 on February 14, 2008, at 22:46:46
Star, I am sorry you so down and feel this way.
Maybe it is time to give the meds a break. Shake up your system. I don't know maybe time for a vacation, or something out of ordinary. Sometime to give you hope again. Stop then trying to find hope on the website and make it not a goal to treat it, then just try to feel a bit better for a longer time. Maybe your mind set it to get well and you are looking to far down the road. Set your sights for smaller increments. And if you achieve that then you can feel better bit by bit.What do you like to do? anything?
If you take all variables away. Assume you can do whatever your hearts desire is, what would it be. Don't consider time, money, none of that. Just tell me off the top of your heart. What does Star wish she could do. And we can start with that.
Would you climb Mt Everest? Go on a date with Brad Pitt? Drive a Indy 500 car? Bunge jump?
Dance for the New York City Ballet? Be on America's Top Model or American Idol? I mean what would it be. Have I got you thinking yet.
Really think. I would be a brain surgeon. I like the idea of knowing so much about the brain. I like knowledge. I knowing stuff just to know. What about you...talk to me star, Tell me a little about you.rsk
Posted by star008 on February 15, 2008, at 15:08:29
In reply to Re: lost all hope.. tired of everything. negative, posted by rskontos on February 15, 2008, at 7:08:52
Posted by star008 on February 16, 2008, at 7:54:09
In reply to Re: lost all hope.. tired of everything. negative trig » star008, posted by Phillipa on February 14, 2008, at 23:43:09
hi phillipa
thx for you kind words.. i am better today.. just has been a hard time for me.. It has been going on for so long that I don't see an end to it.. i am tired and discouraged.. the p-doc doesn't have anything new to say.. wants me to try ECT (which i cannot handle and hold down a job too)..If I cant work I lose everything..It is just me..thx again P.
Posted by star008 on February 16, 2008, at 7:56:34
In reply to Re: lost all hope.. tired of everything. negative trig » star008, posted by Sigismund on February 15, 2008, at 2:41:29
thx for your feedback to my post and the support. YOu are logical and i guess i can take better care of myself so my stay here isn't as bad..Yeah, the hope thing really s**ks.. They make it seem like depression is treatable for everyone and things can be so much better but for some of us it just doesn't respond to treatment..
Posted by star008 on February 16, 2008, at 8:03:17
In reply to Re: lost all hope.. tired of everything. negative, posted by rskontos on February 15, 2008, at 7:08:52
RSK,,
I am going on vacation in a bout a week and hope the warm sun will burn the depression out of me. It helped a lot last year.. just gotta get away and break the cycle,,I am just so tired and discouraged..the daily struggle sometimes seem to just not be worth it..
rsk, if I could do anything at all I would go to arubau and learn to scuba dive,, then I would travel to Kenya and help take care of baby elephants orphaned by poachers.. I would learn to train whales and dolpins and would work at seaworld with them.. how is that for alot?? but yes, this is what I would want to do.. realistically i could look for a dive course here i guess.. and it might sound strange but I want to learn ballroom dancing..i just don't kfnow if I have the nerve to find and sign up for a class..
thx for caring rsk.. helped me not to feel so alone.
Posted by rskontos on February 16, 2008, at 11:52:39
In reply to Re: lost all hope.. tired of everything. negative » rskontos, posted by star008 on February 16, 2008, at 8:03:17
A vacation is good. I am taking one soon too with my son and then another one alone. I hope it will burn the depression out of you.
Kenya huh. I think that would be exciting. Ballroom dancing is never too late to learn. If I lived nearby I would take it with you. I was a professional dancer until my daughters pregnancy put me on bedrest and I stopped so after as I moved away from the company with my DH. But I did ballroom for awhile with one instructor when she needed extras. It was easy for me to jump in and help her. I enjoyed it. Even the poor guys stepping on my feet did not bother me. It was fun and we always had a good time. She was a patient teacher for all levels and all the people loved her. I would encourage you to do it. My pdoc is trying to get me to get back into dance as he thinks it would help me. So ballrooom is a great alternative since ballet is out. Hmmm, maybe we each sign up, and talk about our progress. Kinda of like dance therapy.. what do you say?
rsk
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