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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on February 12, 2008, at 16:58:59
I'm sorry to hear you've had a hard time lately. I hope your therapist was able to be helpful?
Posted by I need a hug on February 13, 2008, at 2:02:35
In reply to Ladybug, posted by Dinah on February 12, 2008, at 16:58:59
Ladybug,
I know how you feel. I think I'd get arrested for impersonating a deputy so I won't give out any orders. I'll just give you hugs. HUGS
(((((((((((((((((((Ladybug))))))))))))))))))))))
Posted by sassyfrancesca on February 13, 2008, at 8:36:11
In reply to Re: Ladybug, posted by I need a hug on February 13, 2008, at 2:02:35
Hugs, dear Ladybug......Love, Francesca
Posted by LadyBug on February 13, 2008, at 17:36:03
In reply to Ladybug, posted by Dinah on February 12, 2008, at 16:58:59
I've never had a post directed to me lately but hey, there's always a first.
I went to therapy last night and just cried the whole hour. I even left her a voice mail last night still crying. By then I took a half of a sleeping pill and went to bed.
I've been going through the time of my life. I left my marriage of 23 years. Right when I'm in the process of moving I find out my 16 year old is pregnant. These challenges have tried me to the max!!!
Well, my daughter decided after months of trying to decide to place her baby for adoption. She picked the couple, we went to their home and told them of her decision. We had met them earlier etc. so they knew she was making a decision. We told them on a Thurs. well, the following Sunday, they found out they are pregnant. We found out this past Monday night that she is pregnant. We were ok with it for a little while and then we went into shock over it. Two days later and we met with my daughters adoption case worker to discuss what she wants to do now. I won't go into all the details of what we talked about but she is now deciding if she wants to keep him? Oh man my world was shoved into reverse going down the road at 100 MPH!
Then on Sunday night I got a call from my step son who is now a Dr. in DC and doing his residency. He asked me a few questions about his dad, my soon to be X spouse. It sounds as if his dad has committed some major fraud in his own sons name!!!!!!!!!!! He is likely going to land in prison this time as it's not the first time this has happened. So now I have to try to process this, my kids dad in prison? My daughter is due to have her baby in 6 weeks and I don't know what the heck she's doing now? I've been sick with a nasty sinus infection. My mom needs to be put in nursing home and I can't even be there to help her. She is dying and I don't even have enough left over to go be there for her. While at my Dr. last week he heard a heart murmur, so I'm going to have that checked out this Friday.
I'm ready to lose it!
My T has been so supportive. In the process of all this though I find out she is going to be out of the country for 3 weeks, most likely when the baby is born and placed for adoption. This will perhaps be the hardest thing I'll go through in my life and she won't even be here to help me through it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, does that give you any clue as to how stressful my life is????????????
I've over the top and I can't take anymore! But guess what, I don't have a choice, I have to go through it even though it's hard and I hate every min. of it.
I can leave daily or more often voice mails to my T and she knows she needs to check them often and respond. I hate my life and everything about it!!! But hey, it will be okLadyBug
PS I hope the heck you guys were referring to me in the title of the post and not the ladybugsmom person I've seen.
Posted by Dinah on February 13, 2008, at 19:42:01
In reply to Re: Ladybug-Update, posted by LadyBug on February 13, 2008, at 17:36:03
Yes, it was definitely you I was addressing. I saw in another thread that you had had a bad few days.
But I hadn't imagined just how bad. I am *so* sorry. I can't even imagine what you're going through. Any one of those things is more than enough stress for anyone. All of them together...
I hope the timing somehow works out so that your therapist isn't gone just as you need her, although I have had the same experience of my therapist being gone just as I needed him, so I know how that can feel.
Please take care of yourself, and reach out here if you think it will help. It seems insurmountable, I know. But you *will* make it through this.
((((Ladybug)))
Posted by LadyBug on February 14, 2008, at 9:04:15
In reply to Re: Ladybug-Update, posted by Dinah on February 13, 2008, at 19:42:01
Thank you for thinking of me Dinah.
I know I will get through this, I have to. As I re-read my post it almost looks as though I made some of that stuff up. Dang, I wish the things I'm going through weren't real but they are.
The most heart wrenching one is the pending adoption of my first grandchild. I know we will see him, it will be an open adoption. I know he will be loved and well taken care of and that he will have a mom and a dad.
My not yet X husband is another story all together. My T has DX him as being anti-social behavior disorder. Though she has only seen him a couple of times, she knows what I've said about him. I looked it up and he's that to a t!!!! And I've lived with it all these years hoping he would change. Wow was I ever wrong. I never gave up hope until the last 2 years and then it FINALLY hit me that he's never going to change.
Happy Valentines Day Dinah!
LadyBug
Posted by rskontos on February 14, 2008, at 9:43:47
In reply to Re: Ladybug-Update » Dinah, posted by LadyBug on February 14, 2008, at 9:04:15
Ladybug,
I hope you don't mind me posting to you.
I am truly sorry for all you are going through.
It is way too much and seems like too much to send anyone their way. I am glad your t is helping. Too bad you can't go with her on her trip or she can't clone herself to left behind one or herself so you have her when you really will need her during the adoption finalization.The breakup of a marriage is always a traumatic event no matter the circumstances. I know it you mourn it regardless how he is/isn't. It is hard and leaves you in a hard situation.
I hope you find more courage and resolve to get through the difficult days ahead. If there is anything I can do, you just need ask.
rsk
Posted by gardenergirl on February 16, 2008, at 12:32:51
In reply to Re: Ladybug-Update » LadyBug, posted by rskontos on February 14, 2008, at 9:43:47
Oh my gosh, that's so much at once. You must be just sort of putting one foot in front of the other in order to get through each day. I'm sorry you have all this on your plate. I hope you are able to find some time to take care of you, especially during the three weeks your T is gone. It's always rotten when they are unavailable for weeks, but when it's during what you know will be a stressful time...ack!
I feel for you, and I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.
Take care,
gg
Posted by Dinah on February 17, 2008, at 21:22:30
In reply to Re: Ladybug-Update » Dinah, posted by LadyBug on February 14, 2008, at 9:04:15
I know it's hard to go through the divorce, but it sounds as if the more distance you put between you, the better.
Adoption is such a beautiful gift, but such a painful one to give. I really grieve for the pain your daughter and you are feeling, even while I recognize how lucky your first grandchild will be to have so many people who love him and want the very best possible for him.
It really is sad that your therapist's vacation happens to coincide with such a heartwrenching life event. I've just begun to be able to feel my therapist when he's gone. I hope you are able to as well.
Posted by LadyBug on February 17, 2008, at 23:31:02
In reply to Re: Ladybug-Update » LadyBug, posted by rskontos on February 14, 2008, at 9:43:47
Thanks rs, I don't mind you adding to this post at all. I appreciate it!
It is hard to think of all this taking place at once. I know I have my girls to help hold me up, but I can tell my T anything and everything. I can cry and I don't think it scares her.
I'm so emotional so much of the time. The time is getting near. 5 more weeks till the due date.
LadyBug
Posted by LadyBug on February 17, 2008, at 23:35:13
In reply to Re: Ladybug-Update, posted by gardenergirl on February 16, 2008, at 12:32:51
You are right gg, one foot in front of the other, it's the only way I can do it all. At some moments I think I'll crash but somehow I manage to get back up and get going again. My daughter has about 5 more weeks to go. I'm starting to miss this sweet little baby already. I'm certain my T will be gone when he's born and placed and it makes me so worried that I'll fall apart and won't have her to turn to. She won't even be in the country. She's offered to have me see a college of hers but I don't think I could actually do that. Too much history is involved. I don't wish this time away but yet I do.
LadyBug
Posted by LadyBug on February 17, 2008, at 23:50:10
In reply to Re: Ladybug-Update » LadyBug, posted by Dinah on February 17, 2008, at 21:22:30
Dinah
My hearts hurts more than I can say sometimes. The adoptive couple invited us to their home tonight to meet his family. They were amazing! We loved them all. There were 2 brothers, their wives, a younger sister, the parents and one other brother that couldn't be there. They told my daughter how happy they were that she chose this couple to place her baby with.Incidently, we went to dinner with them the other night and before we left they came to our home and announced that she is pregnant. It's a miracle, as her chances of becoming pregnant were very slim. My daughter and I both went into shock and it wasn't until after the dinner did we start to think about everything. Will the adoptive child feel the same as the biological child? Will he feel less than? Why would we give this baby to someone who can have their own baby? Out thoughts went on and on. My daughter had a really hard time with it for about 4 days. She had decided to keep the baby herself. I told her she would have to deal with meeting a guy someday down the road to possibly marry and he'd have to love her child as his own and it may not happen and that the adoptive couple can give her baby so much more than we can. She cried. She went to her therapist to talk things over and came home and decided to proceed with the adoption. My week has been an emotional one. I left a voice mail for my T almost everyday. It's a good thing I was able to see her the day after the couple told us of the news that she is pregnant. I cried buckets of tears. Seeing my T gave me a place to sort though my feelings. Her chance of miscarriage is high. And if she carries the baby, they will be 7 months apart. At least he has a chance of having a sibling.
Life..............I will survive.
Thanks for your concern. It means a lot. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I miss this sweet little guy already and he's not even here yet. I love him with all my heart and I can only hope that the adoptive couple's joy is worth our pain. We will get to see him, we have to work that part out. And they are letting my daughter give him his middle name. I think that is cool.
LadyBug
Posted by rskontos on February 18, 2008, at 8:52:03
In reply to Re: Ladybug-Update » Dinah, posted by LadyBug on February 17, 2008, at 23:50:10
Ladybug, I believe that since the adoptive couple wants the baby even though they will be having a baby of their own they will love both babies the same. I don't think it make any difference. My son recently told me he thought I should adopt a baby. My 15 year old beautiful son said mom, I think as much you notice each and every baby we pass, and you make a point when they smile at you to smile back that you should consider adopting one because our family is big enough to love another baby. I though at first wow what a child and second I knew in my heart I could love another baby know matter how this child became mine I would love him or her just as much as the beautiful one that made the suggestion to me in the first place. Hearts are capable of expanding to include a great deal you know. And love is able to be there for all. Your baby will be treated just like the one yet to come to, the circumstances to which each arrives while different is the same. Both are dearly wanted and cherished!
rsk
Posted by LadyBug on February 18, 2008, at 13:27:30
In reply to Re: Ladybug-Update » LadyBug, posted by rskontos on February 18, 2008, at 8:52:03
I completely agree now that I've talked to people that know couples that have adopted and have had their own. It doesn't matter how they arrived. They are loved the same.
LadyBug
This is the end of the thread.
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