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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by okydoky on January 19, 2008, at 21:45:59
I once worked as a social worker in a rehabilitation facility. The woman I worked directly with was very nice. She had a pronounced limp (one leg shorter). One day she seemed angry and asked me why the people we worked with (depressives) wanted to be friends or socialize with people that were not depressed. She did not know I suffered with anorexia/bulimia and depression for most of my life. I was angry at her for thinking that way. I wanted to ask her how she would feel if she were encouraged, in fact almost forced, to socialize, marry etc. only with people who had pronounced limps? Of course I did not say anything.
I bring this up because it is my experience that the more "healthy" people I am socializing with the healthier I have become in my life and I have observed this in others. Of course we need people who understand for support. I just think after reading a lot of this board we should all keep this in mind.
I would be interested in what others think about this. I am not closed minded I hope anyway!
Posted by sunnydays on January 19, 2008, at 22:10:08
In reply to What is Helpful, posted by okydoky on January 19, 2008, at 21:45:59
I agree. My healthy friends IRL have really helped me get perspective and see aspects of my life that may not be so healthy or normal as I once thought. I come here to find people that relate to me, because they are people I don't really have IRL. I have people who care about me a great deal, but I don't feel like they 'get it', so I come here in part to get that feeling that someone else truly understands.
sunnydays
Posted by Daisym on January 19, 2008, at 23:53:51
In reply to What is Helpful, posted by okydoky on January 19, 2008, at 21:45:59
"I just think after reading a lot of this board we should all keep this in mind."
Can you say more about what you mean by this? It sounds to me a little like a caution about hanging out here because we need "healthy" people as friends. I think like all things we need balance and what one person needs at the beginning, middle or end of their journey, isn't the same for another.
One of the best things about this board is that it is open 24/7 and you can hear from all kinds of people with all kinds of experiences. I find it one of the few places I can think "out loud" about the experience of therapy, not just the issues that took me there. I get advice from those further along the road than I am and I can share my experiences with those a wee-bit behind me. It is great if we find the right thing to say to each other but sometimes the only thing we can do is all hurt together. But it sure beats hurting alone.
I can see how one might worry that all we do is feed on each other's grief and sadness. After all, misery loves company, right? But it has been my experience that when several people are down - a few others are up. And when one of us loses hope, others lend theirs. It is a continually evolving, revolving group -- a unique internet family with the same quirks, frustrations, traditions and sibling rivalry.
Babble is sometimes hard to understand, hard to defend, hard to take and hard to read. But it is impossible to leave. Just like family.
Posted by okydoky on January 20, 2008, at 12:03:31
In reply to Re: What is Helpful, posted by Daisym on January 19, 2008, at 23:53:51
'I just think after reading a lot of this board we should all keep this in mind."
I had originally posted this on the eating disorders board and have not read anything on this board yet. The post was redirected.
'Can you say more about what you mean by this? It sounds to me a little like a caution about hanging out here because we need "healthy" people as friends. I think like all things we need balance and what one person needs at the beginning, middle or end of their journey, isn't the same for another.'
It was a caution in a way but again not about this board. I used to know a lot about people with eating disorders and people who are in treatment who don't socialize outside of the treatment facilities or only with the people they interact with there. We tend to emulate those around us sick or not. So if one surrounds themselves with only a very select group they will naturally begin to act, dress, talk etc. like those around them.
I so agree wholeheartedly with what you say.
'One of the best things about this board is that it is open 24/7 and you can hear from all kinds of people with all kinds of experiences. I find it one of the few places I can think "out loud" about the experience of therapy, not just the issues that took me there. I get advice from those further along the road than I am and I can share my experiences with those a wee-bit behind me. It is great if we find the right thing to say to each other but sometimes the only thing we can do is all hurt together. But it sure beats hurting alone.'
Thank you I need this advice. I have been very depressed and not in therapy. I feel very alone.
'I can see how one might worry that all we do is feed on each other's grief and sadness. After all, misery loves company, right? But it has been my experience that when several people are down - a few others are up. And when one of us loses hope, others lend theirs. It is a continually evolving, revolving group -- a unique internet family with the same quirks, frustrations, traditions and sibling rivalry.
Babble is sometimes hard to understand, hard to defend, hard to take and hard to read. But it is impossible to leave. Just like family.'
Again thank you for the advice. I will read and perhaps interact on this board. You seem very supportive.
okydoky
Posted by Phillipa on January 20, 2008, at 12:26:21
In reply to Re: What is Helpful » Daisym, posted by okydoky on January 20, 2008, at 12:03:31
I really myself just started posting here and so many kind and empathetic people. Yes I ride my bike and go to stores as don't know to interact with what I think are healthy people but who knows what their issues are. Babble can be very supportive. Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on January 20, 2008, at 16:40:53
In reply to Re: What is Helpful, posted by Daisym on January 19, 2008, at 23:53:51
> Babble is sometimes hard to understand, hard to defend, hard to take and hard to read. But it is impossible to leave. Just like family.
That so perfectly captures what I feel.
Posted by okydoky on January 20, 2008, at 20:26:56
In reply to Re: What is Helpful » Daisym, posted by Dinah on January 20, 2008, at 16:40:53
I did read several posts on a couple different threads on this board and I would never have posted my "What is Helpful" post here. It does not belong here. I posted it at the eating disorders board quite where I think I wanted it to be seen and perhaps made someone stop and think a bit differently as I hope many of the things I read do for me.
THis board is completely different (as it should be) with its own unique flaver also as it should be. Each post contributes to and changes it. The ebb and flow, opening and sometimes narowing our minds.Stream of thought there. Good luck to all.
Okydoky?
Posted by Dinah on January 21, 2008, at 9:08:21
In reply to Re: What is Helpful, posted by okydoky on January 20, 2008, at 20:26:56
Oh, it's just fine.
My comment to Daisy wasn't related to this thread. I just liked what she said about Babble. But I should have opened a new thread to say that. I wasn't thinking, and I'm sorry.
Posted by muffled on January 21, 2008, at 11:20:13
In reply to Re: What is Helpful, posted by okydoky on January 20, 2008, at 20:26:56
This is the end of the thread.
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