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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by dancinbillie on December 6, 2007, at 16:31:00
Hi all, I was in a Partial Hospital Program twice this year at a large, well-respected local hospital. While there, one of the RNs and I became extremely close - I'm an adoptee and have some serious attachment issues, which she was well aware of - she hugged me multiple times, self-disclosed a lot, told me she loved me multiple times, told me we had a special connection several times, she lent me personal items such as dvds and videotapes - we had lots of one-on-ones which were not really part of the group-oriented program. The second time I was there, her supervisor and other team members stepped in and "separated" us. Shortly thereafter, I spoke out in group therapy that she was leading and said I was having intrusive, obsessive thoughts about someone but didn't say who. I got really really upset while talking about it, and rather than her comforting me after the group ended, as she usually would have, she took off out of the room like her butt was on fire. I ended up in a meeting with her and the medical director of the program in which I confessed it was her I'd been talking about - she had assumed that, and also immediately assumed that I was sexually attracted to her, which "creeped her out." I denied the sexual attraction although it was somewhat true. The RN took off the following two days for "self-protection" from me, which absolutely blew my mind when I found out - I'm not a dangerous person, never have been, never will be, except perhaps to myself! After that meeting, she basically ignored me, until the day before her vacation at Labor Day week - the medical director called me in to see how I was feeling about the whole thing, and told me that the RN was still "creeped out" because she thought I was sitting around fantasizing about her and masturbating. I had not done that, and I told the medical director so, and asked her to pass it on to the RN - I had a chance to speak to the RN for a couple of minutes later that day and told her I didn't want to leave on a crappy note with her - she told me the medical director had talked to her about my not masturbating with her in mind, and she further said, "We're okay, we're fine, don't worry - you know, there's almost a funny aspect to all this!" She returned from vacation the following Wednesday or Thursday, and I requested a meeting because I was continuing to have trouble with the whole situation. She, I, the medical director and the program director got together in one of the offices, and I began by saying that I was sorry I'd upset her, and she interrupted me by saying, "I don't want to rehash this." Angered by this, I sarcastically replied, "Well, I guess we're done here then." She looked at the medical director, then got up and walked out of the meeting. The last day I was in the program, Friday 9/14, she came up to me and said that despite everything that had gone down, she still held me in very high esteem - I was still angry and told her, "Well, the only thing I can think to say to you right now is f*ck you very much." She looked shocked and I left. I left the program on Friday 9/14/07 so I could start ECT the following Monday, with plans discussed with my insurance company and the medical director to return to the partial program after a few rounds of ECT. Two weeks and six ECTs later, I was told by the medical director of the program, who is resigning as a result of this situation and I guess some other similar situations, that I would not be allowed to return because the RN was "uncomfortable" with me coming back to the program, but that I would be told I couldn't come back because my being there would present "a safety issue" for the RN and because I had complained that I wasn't getting as much out of the program after the RN and I had been separated (which was true). The medical director did not agree with the decision to ban me from the program, but had been outvoted, so to speak. I sent a letter to the RN's home the weekend after I left the program, and she had the hospital security manager return it to my husband, unopened, via certified mail, with a note not to try to contact her again or she would prosecute to the fullest extent of the law. My husband had called her on her cell phone the week after I left the program because he wanted to work with her to resolve the situation, but she told him never to call her again. I've written to the hospital a few times, going up the ladder so to speak, and have received one response stating that given all the information available, they stand by their decision to decline me readmittance to the program, even though my psychiatrist (the medical director of the program) and my therapist believe that some further time spent with the RN would be helpful in my efforts to "de-merge." Anybody have any thoughts? This is driving me crazy. Thanks for your time and consideration.
Posted by star008 on December 6, 2007, at 16:53:33
In reply to Medical malpractice by psych nurse?, posted by dancinbillie on December 6, 2007, at 16:31:00
Sorry for all your trouble. From reading what you wrote it seems that the RN violated some boundaries by becoming to close to you..the other staff members noticed and put a stop to it but not before you were feeling attached to her. She got scared and perhaps built thngs up in her mind?
Did you violate any boundaries with her? Myabe she wanted to get close to you but when you returned it,. she was afraid?At this point it sounds as if she is the one with the problem. Seh doesn't want to see you so I would let it go even though it would settle things down in your mind. Maybe she knew she screwed up by encouraging the closeness and put it on you so as not to look bad in front of her peers?? Why would she accuse you of thnking about her and masterbating?? Isn't that a huge assumption to make? It is actually a bizarre thing to think.
YOu need to totally leave her alone as this one is not going to get any better.. You are dealing with her issues and I think the more you try to reach her, the more she will think you are after her. Maybe you could find somewhere else to go anyway?? That place would be awfully uncomfortable to return to after what they think you have done to her.
I might be way off here but I think you obessed the way alot of us obsess about our T's and it takes quite awhile to get over it. She got close to you and then hurt you and I am sorry that it happened that way..
Hope something I said will help u
Posted by dancinbillie on December 6, 2007, at 17:56:08
In reply to Re: Medical malpractice by psych nurse?, posted by star008 on December 6, 2007, at 16:53:33
Hi, thanks so much for your post. Yes, I know you're right that I'm absolutely obsessing over her. It's been three months and it's still on my mind the vast majority of the time. I miss her so much even though she did hurt me. And yes, I totally agree it was a bizarre assumption on her part about the fantasizing and masturbating. Perhaps some projection on her part? I don't know. The medical director (my continuing medical management doctor in her private practice) said that she and the program director thought that the RN walked out of the meeting as I mentioned because she was afraid that I was going to verbally attack her for messing with my head and get her into some kind of trouble. When the medical director and program director tried to "invesigate" the situation, the RN "clammed up" and wouldn't talk about it at all. Weird.
Posted by muffled on December 6, 2007, at 23:09:21
In reply to Re: Medical malpractice by psych nurse?, posted by dancinbillie on December 6, 2007, at 17:56:08
I'm so sorry, that sounds like such a tough situation :-(
Being an old lady I seen a certain amount of people stuff, and I'm inclined to agree.....sometimes you just goto walk away :-( I worry that persuing it will just cause the problem to grow.
But what a great thing to talk about in therapy! The whys and wherefores of what happened, and how you feel about it etc. There is a great learning opportunity for you here methinks.
Is there conflicts of interests here?
Can you talk about this with T? Or is that going to be problematic?
Yeah....it sucks. Sorry this happened to you, but you can turn it in to a good learning thing. You can grow from this.
Keep on posting if it helps you, and ignore me if I saying ridiculous thngs!
Take care,
M
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