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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 16:01:54
Ya Daisy made me realize why i so paranoid bout touch w/T. I not so paranoid always with people. I always don't like it, but I tolerate it better. Specially if I know the person, and you would think of all people I would not mind T. But Daisy said of her T that she even gets nervous of him sometimes. So I think its a vulnerability thing, we expose our flanks and it makes us more careful and vigilant. So while we exposing, parts of us is being very careful as well. And the other thing is stuff "gets in peoples heads", "gives em ideas", cuz if they know you been, well, whatever, they might think hmmm, and "get ideas". This is of course illogical I suppose?, but alotta sh*t in this world is completely irrational and bad. Maybe this is obvo to some, but its not to me.Its not T. It just the way it is. The way the world is. I can trust, but NOTHING would surprize me because I am always prepared, I have a part that is always ready to take necessary action at any time. I have a part that would be surprized by nothing. This keeps me safe. Cuz this part would not get frozen cuz it would not get surprized. It is always on alert status. Varying levels of alert, depending on circumstance. For example, one day my T was talking and waving her hands around and she was near to me, this caused a high alert status, in case the hands came towards me. Then Thatkid would go tazmanian devil and cause SUCH confusion, BUT, the part that is always preapared would then take over.We could be safe, we would not freeze.
So its not ALL bad being split.
There's alot of safety in being split.
Am I nuts or what?
M
Posted by rskontos on December 3, 2007, at 16:45:36
In reply to So, now, TOUCH. *trigger quite possibly*, posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 16:01:54
No muffled, there is a big part of me that doesn't want my parts to go. I fight intergration. I think then who keeps me safe.
I don't want t to touch me. She was crying last time when I was telling her stuff my dad says to me and stuff my mom did but I never acknowledged her crying. Her stuff to worry with I got enough to deal with. She is a big girl. She didn't bring it up me neither. I didn't hug her and didn't want a hug. It was bad stuff we talked about but I didn't cry I just talked. Thats it. But I did switch. for a bit. So no big deal. NO I don't think I want to be touch by t. I am not sure if ever.
But that is me. I don't like my husband to hug. Weird huh. rk
Posted by antigua3 on December 3, 2007, at 17:21:39
In reply to So, now, TOUCH. *trigger quite possibly*, posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 16:01:54
I wouldn't ever want my pdoc to touch me, but I get regular hugs from my T--initiated and uninitiated. Go figure. Of course, I think it's a trust thing. I trust and love my T implicitely and know she wouldn't hurt me. My pdoc, on the other hand, I don't have that trust--yet. I hope it develops; if not, I have to find someone new.
But basically, in life, I don't like to be touched (no massages for me!) unless it's someone I'm very close to.
So you're not alone,
antigua
Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 3, 2007, at 18:56:10
In reply to So, now, TOUCH. *trigger quite possibly*, posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 16:01:54
T touched me once. he patted my shoulder as I left the office.
Posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 19:38:56
In reply to Re: So, now, TOUCH. *trigger quite possibly* » muffled, posted by llurpsienoodle on December 3, 2007, at 18:56:10
Posted by I need a hug on December 3, 2007, at 19:59:11
In reply to So, now, TOUCH. *trigger quite possibly*, posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 16:01:54
WOW! We're worlds apart on this one. I guess you can tell by my name I need hugs. I grew up with both parents and 2 brothers and a sister. The only problem for me was my family never hugged or told each other we loved each other. Now, as an adult I think I have tried to make it a point to tell and show close friends and family how I feel about them and it means a lot to me when they do the same. I would love it if my T(she's my Pdoc too) would give me a hug. Many times I've wanted to give her one but I've always been afraid to cross that boundary. Maybe someday I'll find the courage to do it. Just my perspective. HUGS
Posted by star008 on December 3, 2007, at 21:46:09
In reply to Re: So, now, TOUCH. *trigger quite possibly*, posted by rskontos on December 3, 2007, at 16:45:36
rk..
I don't plan to integrate in a way that the other parts are not there anymore.. I just want to be able to communicate with them and function as a whole.. I don't think you have to integrate them and lose them.. there are good things about them
Posted by star008 on December 3, 2007, at 21:50:44
In reply to So, now, TOUCH. *trigger quite possibly*, posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 16:01:54
hey muffs..
IMHO I think it is different when you get a hug from a T cuz you have expose so much of yourself and gotten so close.. It is easier to get a hug from someone you aren't so intimately connected with..
they can't hurt you like one who has seen so much of you. I give my T a hug once in a long while. He has asked to give me a hug once or twice. It is okay with me but I dont know if I would like it if it happened very often. I could handle hugs from a woman depending on who she was..You obviously have PTSD.. It s...cks, doesn't it?? Interesting that the Taz kid gets all worked up over it, lets us know she is the one who got hurt..But we knew that, huh??
Posted by Daisym on December 3, 2007, at 23:30:24
In reply to Re: So, now, TOUCH. *trigger quite possibly* » muffled, posted by star008 on December 3, 2007, at 21:50:44
One of the saddest things in the world is to want to be held - desperately want that - and yet be terrified of it. And terrified that it will never ever happen safely.
It makes me feel so alone because the only place to go when someone touches me is to retreat inside myself. Why can't I just relax and allow comfort and closeness?
I hate this.
Posted by antigua3 on December 4, 2007, at 5:31:17
In reply to Re: So, now, TOUCH. *trigger quite possibly* » rskontos, posted by star008 on December 3, 2007, at 21:46:09
With all due respect, in my experience you don't necessarily lose them when you integrate. they are still there, but they don't cause the trouble they did before. Maybe I'm wrong--my pdoc says I'm still not fully integrated, but my little girls will always be with me. they just don't control me as much.
antigua
Posted by star008 on December 4, 2007, at 7:18:02
In reply to Re: So, now, TOUCH. *trigger quite possibly* » star008, posted by antigua3 on December 4, 2007, at 5:31:17
Sorry i misunderstood you.. Some people talk about fully integrating them and losing them. I don't think I am capable of doing it anyway. I feel the same way that you do.. that integration just means you work together and aren't separated the way it is for me now.
This is the end of the thread.
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