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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jimmyboy on December 2, 2007, at 0:17:05
Hi, I usually don't post over here. But a very bad recent relationship had me doing some research on narcissism.
I had a very bad relationship with girl who clearly is narcissitic, so I was reading about it and there are a lof of good stories/articles on how narcissists are , act and basically it says they are emotional vampires and should be avoided at all costs. I could agree with regards to my ex.
But the troubling thing was.. the more I read, the more of these traits being described also described myself.
Does anyone know if there is any type of successful treament for this disorder. I am pretty sure there is no medicine, b.c this is more of a personality trait. But some of what I read suggested therapy isn't helpful either, that basically you are doomed to be a lying parasite for teh rest of your life.
Please let me know if anyone knows a good way to go about treating this problem. Like a certain type/style of therapy that is more successful.
Thanks
JB
Posted by Sigismund on December 2, 2007, at 0:55:09
In reply to Narcissism - is there any treatment that helps?, posted by Jimmyboy on December 2, 2007, at 0:17:05
I try irony myself, with mixed results.
I think our entire culture is narcissistic.
How about reading about other times and places?
Posted by star008 on December 2, 2007, at 6:52:11
In reply to Narcissism - is there any treatment that helps?, posted by Jimmyboy on December 2, 2007, at 0:17:05
Therapy can help personality traits.. At least it can help you to recognize the traits and then be able to try to learn to change them. I am not really familiar with this one but I know there are parts of personality that we can work on and change..Meds aren't going to help this one so therapy is the option you have left.. You may not even have it.. You may just see parts of yourself in it. Therapy can help you see if it really exists for you
Posted by 10derHeart on December 2, 2007, at 12:56:56
In reply to Narcissism - is there any treatment that helps?, posted by Jimmyboy on December 2, 2007, at 0:17:05
This site has a pretty detailed description of how a psychodynamic therapist might approach what you're describing.
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=479&cn=8
Like star said, you may not have this "official" disorder or anything, but perhaps just some traits, and even if you did, personality disorders are not untreatable by any means. It seems awfully encouraging (and NOT narcissistic!) that you'd recognize maybe some things aren't okay with you and want to understand yourself better/get help.
And I'll glad you posted over here :-) We don't bite....well, at least most of us, as far as I know..... lol ;-)
Posted by Kim Cooper on December 2, 2007, at 15:02:23
In reply to Narcissism - is there any treatment that helps?, posted by Jimmyboy on December 2, 2007, at 0:17:05
I am sorry to hear about your girlfriend, better luck next time.
my husband Steve had NPD and got better, we have a guide online to help people with this.On my site there is a link to three questions that you can ask yourself if you are the NPD person in a relationship. That site is at http://www.narcissismcured.com - as NPD people always blame their problems on someone else it can be very confusing. I have written a treatise on what I think the problem really is with NPD called sneaky selfish brats at http://www.narcissism.com.au that you might find interesting.
It doesn't sound to me like you are NPD, some easy questions to ask yourself is if you lie to gain advantage with people and if you blame things you do wrong on other people? Also do you criticise people behind their back? If you don't do these things frequently it is unlikely that you are NPD. You see it is not just being self centered it is also about being deceitful to gain advantage.
I hope this helps!
Kim Cooper.
Posted by Phillipa on December 2, 2007, at 22:32:15
In reply to Re: Narcissism - is there any treatment that helps? » Jimmyboy, posted by Kim Cooper on December 2, 2007, at 15:02:23
Gee finally something I'm not. Phillipa ps does sound a little borderline though in l0der's post to me at least.
Posted by Jimmyboy on December 3, 2007, at 16:53:04
In reply to Re: Narcissism - is there any treatment that helps » Jimmyboy, posted by 10derHeart on December 2, 2007, at 12:56:56
Thanks for the reply,
I too am glad that I am on this board now and not the meds board. I tried meds ( tons and tons of them) for over 13 years to treat my "unresponsive bipolar" - well luckily for me , I found out I had some severe food allergies to very common foods, ( gluten, corn, eggs) etc. and have cut those out of my diet and added some supplements and I have succesfully gotten off all meds and feel "normal" for the first time in my life ( there is a god!)
But now the chemistry is in check, I have done some reflecting and see there are parts of my personality I would really like to work on. I always blamed my " messed up chemistry " on my bad behavior.. thats no longer an option. Its time to face the music and its going to be hard , but I know ist worth it.
As for your post, I agree , I am not a full blown NPD person ( unlike who I was with - it was uncanny when I read the description b/c it was like it was describing this exact person) -- But I am no angel and although I certainly have emotions and empathy for people it has not stopped me from lying and cheating on my girlfriends in the past. ( although ironically not the last one, who was doing that all to me) This was just to get the thrill of a new conquest and make me feel like I'm something special. its stupid and immature, and hurtful and I hope I never do it again.
Sorry for the long ramble,
Thanks again for the concern and info
JB
Posted by Dinah on December 3, 2007, at 17:45:08
In reply to Re: Narcissism - is there any treatment that helps, posted by Jimmyboy on December 3, 2007, at 16:53:04
It sounds as if you're in a perfect place to utilize therapy. You're not beating yourself up, but you're recognizing that there are areas of your life that could use improvement.
I'm glad you've had success with your dietary changes. :)
Posted by Dory on December 4, 2007, at 17:19:16
In reply to Re: Narcissism - is there any treatment that helps, posted by Jimmyboy on December 3, 2007, at 16:53:04
i know more about narcissists than i'd care to... and i've wondered, like you, whether it's a doomed condition. But you know? It used to be that BPD was considered to be that way, and others before that.
i agree.. you don't *sound* like a narcissist.. but then again, the ones i know can sound like Ghandi in print. If you are sincere then you are probably not one.
i'm not in agreement about the "deceipt to gain advantage" idea.. although it sure would be like a narcissist to do it. i can't elaborate too too much, but my own experience with a particular narcissist didn't show much by the way of gaining advantage.. not from my perception. In X's case, the deception was as much to herself as to others, and was more about preservation of grandiose self. To reveal truth, even to herself, would mean the shattering of reality. In an unconscious and conscious way X protected her version of reality no matter what.
i dunno.. i always thought NPD meant a person was completely without heart.. but that's not really what i saw myself. The dx was given by 2 T's directly, one after the fact through information given, and by two pdoc's directly.
what one T said was this... that it was more central to look at the lack of respect, understanding... that one's own feelings, world, view, etc has to be paramount to that of others... in X's case, she would even sometimes see how she had behaved badly, apologize and even meant it as much as she was capable of... but she had no power to stop it from happening again. Her hard-wired drive to survive, that we all have, seems to extend to everything, especially her self image.
i'd read read read if i were you. There are forums specifically for every illness and condition out there where you could ask more. Not saying to go, god no, stay here too. :o)
i am of the mind that every condition has hope. It just takes a lot of committment, work and willingness to suffer pain. For PD's a newer type of therapy seems to have had good success... it's what my T does, called schema therapy, specifically designed for PD's initially.
sorry.. this rambled on.. this issue is just a little close to me.
***
side thought... if you really want to know.. like **really really*** There is a way you could try... i mean one prob with personality disorders is that if you are protecting yourself mentally, you're going to answer questions a certain way... right? Can't help yourself. So... print out the NPD criteria and ask people close to you to read them, write out their honest opinion, anonymously and take the whole lot to a T or pdoc. Have them read what your friends and family say. Tricky thing i guess... IME narcissists only seek help because someone they value somehow have forced them into treatment.
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