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Re: Narcissism - is there any treatment that helps » Jimmyboy

Posted by Dory on December 4, 2007, at 17:19:16

In reply to Re: Narcissism - is there any treatment that helps, posted by Jimmyboy on December 3, 2007, at 16:53:04

i know more about narcissists than i'd care to... and i've wondered, like you, whether it's a doomed condition. But you know? It used to be that BPD was considered to be that way, and others before that.

i agree.. you don't *sound* like a narcissist.. but then again, the ones i know can sound like Ghandi in print. If you are sincere then you are probably not one.

i'm not in agreement about the "deceipt to gain advantage" idea.. although it sure would be like a narcissist to do it. i can't elaborate too too much, but my own experience with a particular narcissist didn't show much by the way of gaining advantage.. not from my perception. In X's case, the deception was as much to herself as to others, and was more about preservation of grandiose self. To reveal truth, even to herself, would mean the shattering of reality. In an unconscious and conscious way X protected her version of reality no matter what.

i dunno.. i always thought NPD meant a person was completely without heart.. but that's not really what i saw myself. The dx was given by 2 T's directly, one after the fact through information given, and by two pdoc's directly.

what one T said was this... that it was more central to look at the lack of respect, understanding... that one's own feelings, world, view, etc has to be paramount to that of others... in X's case, she would even sometimes see how she had behaved badly, apologize and even meant it as much as she was capable of... but she had no power to stop it from happening again. Her hard-wired drive to survive, that we all have, seems to extend to everything, especially her self image.

i'd read read read if i were you. There are forums specifically for every illness and condition out there where you could ask more. Not saying to go, god no, stay here too. :o)

i am of the mind that every condition has hope. It just takes a lot of committment, work and willingness to suffer pain. For PD's a newer type of therapy seems to have had good success... it's what my T does, called schema therapy, specifically designed for PD's initially.

sorry.. this rambled on.. this issue is just a little close to me.

***
side thought... if you really want to know.. like **really really*** There is a way you could try... i mean one prob with personality disorders is that if you are protecting yourself mentally, you're going to answer questions a certain way... right? Can't help yourself. So... print out the NPD criteria and ask people close to you to read them, write out their honest opinion, anonymously and take the whole lot to a T or pdoc. Have them read what your friends and family say. Tricky thing i guess... IME narcissists only seek help because someone they value somehow have forced them into treatment.


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