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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on October 15, 2007, at 13:50:40
I feel so messed up. My life isn't half as bad as others, but I feel so discouraged and frustrated with myself. I wish I felt better.
I was wondering about other people's experiences with their therapists. Do you feel like you click with your T? For people with anxiety and avoidance issues, does your T help you feel motivated to do things? mine doesn't make me feel motivated at all. I have such a headache just thinking about the stuff I wish I could do, but don't. And I don't want to blame anyone, because it is no one's fault.
Any feedback would be helpful. thanks.
Posted by Dory on October 15, 2007, at 15:07:17
In reply to for people w/ anxiety and avoidance issues, posted by Angela2 on October 15, 2007, at 13:50:40
> My life isn't half as bad as others
is there a contest? some kind of quota? Who has it worse? My T says that what matters is how you feel... no contest or comparison on what made you feel that way. You don't need to be beaten, molested or abused to feel bad. Some people like to wave it around as if somehow they should get more recognition or sympathy. But why? Is it worse to hit a child? or to cut them? Does it matter in the end? A child that gets neglected may end up with as much or more damage than one who is beaten. There isn't any rule book and even if you had a completely well adjusted life... you still have as much right as anyone to feel bad. You don't need to be abused to be hurting.
>
>Do you feel like you click with your T?i do, very much. It's hard, because i won't let him get close.. so the "click" isn't consistant.
>For people with anxiety and avoidance issues, does your T help you feel motivated to do things?
i'm not sure what you mean... ? Like regular life stuff? or do you mean exercises for therapy?
i refuse to do therapy homework. Pppfffftt. So no to that. But in other stuff... well, he does a little but not directly. We haven't really gone there. But he does indirectly because i feel the desire to make him proud of me. i know that is not a good reason... that when he isn't there i would fall flat, but it's a start. Better than before.
i am terrible at getting things done. i keep getting told how much potential i have and i still can't get it together.
i think i am as afraid of success as i am of failure. Are you that way?
Posted by rskontos on October 15, 2007, at 17:32:27
In reply to Re: for people w/ anxiety and avoidance issues » Angela2, posted by Dory on October 15, 2007, at 15:07:17
You know Angela when I think about how bad I am feeling and how I am hiding my pain IRL and my only outlet is here and therapy I see an article about a famous person like Owen Wilson or just recently Ashley Judd went public about her breakdown and remember that no matter your walk thru life where you came from or where you are going you can have depression, anxiety and avoidance issues. Don't get me wrong I don't want these people to have these problems but it helps me to realize that while some people may seem to have it all they have problems, serious problems too.
And Dory is right. There is no right on why you can feel bad or have depression or anxiety or avoidance issues.
I am sorry you feel the way you do. Sometimes you know why and sometimes you don't. I keep telling myself I have a good life so why don't I feel better now. The fact is I don't I am spiraling down again and I can't stop it.
I have clicked with my in that I trust her as much as I trust people at first. I have told her my dirty laundry as much as I am able at this moment and that is huge for me. I felt like I had to or I was going to lose myself. She helps me with anxiety in the moment but it doesn't last long. She gives me tools but I don't use them well. I a long way to go and she said so. I hate it.
I am with you Dory, I think success is something I might never achieve but I am afraid to fail as that means I will always be in this hellhole.
Angela2 you are just as worthy of any of us to voice how you feel the why you feel that way isn't important. So tell us how you feel. I hope you feel better.
rk
Posted by RealMe on October 15, 2007, at 19:40:44
In reply to for people w/ anxiety and avoidance issues, posted by Angela2 on October 15, 2007, at 13:50:40
I am not sure a therapist can get someone motivated. T could explore with you why you do not feel you can motivate yourself to do the work you perhaps need to do. Have you and T talked about your lack of motivation and what it might be about?
RealMe
Posted by Phillipa on October 15, 2007, at 21:29:21
In reply to Re: for people w/ anxiety and avoidance issues » Angela2, posted by RealMe on October 15, 2007, at 19:40:44
I'm changing T's as she tells me I must go out each day and go somewhere. Why? As I am exhausted from going out each day. I need some rest too. And is she paying for my gas and giving me money to spend? No. Sometimes I feel they just want us to be like whatever they are when they are alone. I need to be me and so do you. Phillipa
Posted by obsidian on October 15, 2007, at 22:23:59
In reply to for people w/ anxiety and avoidance issues, posted by Angela2 on October 15, 2007, at 13:50:40
that's me...chronically terrified, never seems to let up
I like to think of T as safe place...god there's got to be one right??
discouraged??...yeah, wish I could take that away for both of us
so let me ask you this...does the anxiety get in the way of you clicking with T??
-all the best,
obsid
Posted by angela2 on October 16, 2007, at 9:32:52
In reply to Re: for people w/ anxiety and avoidance issues » Angela2, posted by Dory on October 15, 2007, at 15:07:17
> > My life isn't half as bad as others
>
> is there a contest? some kind of quota? Who has it worse? My T says that what matters is how you feel... no contest or comparison on what made you feel that way. You don't need to be beaten, molested or abused to feel bad. Some people like to wave it around as if somehow they should get more recognition or sympathy. But why? Is it worse to hit a child? or to cut them? Does it matter in the end? A child that gets neglected may end up with as much or more damage than one who is beaten. There isn't any rule book and even if you had a completely well adjusted life... you still have as much right as anyone to feel bad. You don't need to be abused to be hurting.
> >Thanks Dory.
> >Do you feel like you click with your T?
>
> i do, very much. It's hard, because i won't let him get close.. so the "click" isn't consistant.
>
> >For people with anxiety and avoidance issues, does your T help you feel motivated to do things?
>
> i'm not sure what you mean... ? Like regular life stuff? or do you mean exercises for therapy?what I meant was, I guess exercises in therapy. Tho she doesn't give me any exercises and I feel like she is sort of unenthusiastic.
>
> i refuse to do therapy homework. Pppfffftt. So no to that. But in other stuff... well, he does a little but not directly. We haven't really gone there. But he does indirectly because i feel the desire to make him proud of me. i know that is not a good reason... that when he isn't there i would fall flat, but it's a start. Better than before.
>
> i am terrible at getting things done. i keep getting told how much potential i have and i still can't get it together.
>
> i think i am as afraid of success as i am of failure. Are you that way?Yeah I might be that way too Dory.
>
>
>
>
Posted by angela2 on October 16, 2007, at 9:35:44
In reply to Re: for people w/ anxiety and avoidance issues, posted by rskontos on October 15, 2007, at 17:32:27
> You know Angela when I think about how bad I am feeling and how I am hiding my pain IRL and my only outlet is here and therapy I see an article about a famous person like Owen Wilson or just recently Ashley Judd went public about her breakdown and remember that no matter your walk thru life where you came from or where you are going you can have depression, anxiety and avoidance issues. Don't get me wrong I don't want these people to have these problems but it helps me to realize that while some people may seem to have it all they have problems, serious problems too.
>
> And Dory is right. There is no right on why you can feel bad or have depression or anxiety or avoidance issues.
>
> I am sorry you feel the way you do. Sometimes you know why and sometimes you don't. I keep telling myself I have a good life so why don't I feel better now. The fact is I don't I am spiraling down again and I can't stop it.
>
> I have clicked with my in that I trust her as much as I trust people at first. I have told her my dirty laundry as much as I am able at this moment and that is huge for me. I felt like I had to or I was going to lose myself. She helps me with anxiety in the moment but it doesn't last long. She gives me tools but I don't use them well. I a long way to go and she said so. I hate it.
>
> I am with you Dory, I think success is something I might never achieve but I am afraid to fail as that means I will always be in this hellhole.
>
> Angela2 you are just as worthy of any of us to voice how you feel the why you feel that way isn't important. So tell us how you feel. I hope you feel better.
> rkAww, thank you rk. Not sure what else to say. Your post was touching. thank you.
Posted by Dinah on October 16, 2007, at 9:38:23
In reply to Re: for people w/ anxiety and avoidance issues » Angela2, posted by Dory on October 15, 2007, at 15:07:17
Is she a CBT therapist? They almost always give homework and are usually quite enthusiastic. I think CBT has shown good results with anxiety. I'm not sure about avoidance.
Am I remembering correctly that you haven't been seeing her long? Maybe she really isn't a good fit, or just doesn't offer what you're looking for at this time.
Posted by angela2 on October 16, 2007, at 9:38:41
In reply to Re: for people w/ anxiety and avoidance issues » Angela2, posted by RealMe on October 15, 2007, at 19:40:44
> I am not sure a therapist can get someone motivated. T could explore with you why you do not feel you can motivate yourself to do the work you perhaps need to do. Have you and T talked about your lack of motivation and what it might be about?
>
> RealMeYeah, I've talked to her about it before about how I feel unmotivated by her. She doesn't really say mucuh though. I feel like we just don't click. And I don't think she understands. tho she does try to help me..
Thanks Real me.
Posted by Dinah on October 16, 2007, at 9:38:52
In reply to Re: for people w/ anxiety and avoidance issues » Dory, posted by Dinah on October 16, 2007, at 9:38:23
Posted by angela2 on October 16, 2007, at 9:41:00
In reply to Re: for people w/ anxiety and avoidance issues » Dory, posted by Dinah on October 16, 2007, at 9:38:23
> Is she a CBT therapist? They almost always give homework and are usually quite enthusiastic. I think CBT has shown good results with anxiety. I'm not sure about avoidance.
>
> Am I remembering correctly that you haven't been seeing her long? Maybe she really isn't a good fit, or just doesn't offer what you're looking for at this time.THank you Dinah! You are right, I've been seeing her since last december. May seem long, but not to me.. I am going to look for a cbt therapist. thanks.
Posted by angela2 on October 16, 2007, at 9:44:27
In reply to hey!! were you looking for an avoidant person???!! » Angela2, posted by obsidian on October 15, 2007, at 22:23:59
> that's me...chronically terrified, never seems to let up
>
> I like to think of T as safe place...god there's got to be one right??
>
> discouraged??...yeah, wish I could take that away for both of us
>
> so let me ask you this...does the anxiety get in the way of you clicking with T??
>
> -all the best,
> obsidNo, it doesn't get in the way obsidian. I think she just isn't a good fit. I think avoidance can be curable. I have faith in you obsidian. I have faith in me too. thanks for your response.
Angela2
Posted by angela2 on October 16, 2007, at 9:47:31
In reply to for people w/ anxiety and avoidance issues, posted by Angela2 on October 15, 2007, at 13:50:40
> I feel so messed up. My life isn't half as bad as others, but I feel so discouraged and frustrated with myself. I wish I felt better.
>
> I was wondering about other people's experiences with their therapists. Do you feel like you click with your T? For people with anxiety and avoidance issues, does your T help you feel motivated to do things? mine doesn't make me feel motivated at all. I have such a headache just thinking about the stuff I wish I could do, but don't. And I don't want to blame anyone, because it is no one's fault.
>
> Any feedback would be helpful. thanks.Thanks everyone for your responses. I think I just don't click with my T and need to find someone who practices CBT.
aNGELA2
Posted by angela2 on October 16, 2007, at 9:49:17
In reply to Re: Changing T's one reason, posted by Phillipa on October 15, 2007, at 21:29:21
> I'm changing T's as she tells me I must go out each day and go somewhere. Why? As I am exhausted from going out each day. I need some rest too. And is she paying for my gas and giving me money to spend? No. Sometimes I feel they just want us to be like whatever they are when they are alone. I need to be me and so do you. Phillipa
pHILIPPA, Yeah, you should do what you feel in your heart to be the best thing for you. Ya know? Take care.
This is the end of the thread.
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