![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by meeple on August 23, 2007, at 5:33:11
my therapist is a beautiful man
kind
so kind
such a kind smile
such a soothing voice
such safe deliberate gestures
but he is killing me with his words
precisely because he is so kind.shame
it is an emotion apparently
a feeling
but it damned well isn't
its greater than that
its bigger than thatfreud thought that explanation bottomed out with the oedipal complex
once that came out the analysis was done
kohut thought that explanation bottomed out with
fragmentation
once that came out the analysis was done
though the analysis isn't done
one needs to build up defences
defences
one needs to defend oneself
from the feeling
the feeling that accompanies the distorted, writhing figures
the feeling that accompanies the faces dripping black
the feeling that accompanies the terror and repulsion
the horror the horror
breaking up
explosions from inside
and the body fragments off
into tiny needles of glass
exploding outwards
how many will i hurt along the way?but smooth it over with kindness
wrap it in care and attention and love
and why is it that they only scream all the louder?
the more care
the more horror
the more love
the more hurtwhy did life have to be that way?
why?
Why?
WHY?
i don't understand
i don't understand why it hurts so much
so much
so much
why it will never go away.
will it ever go away?
please
please
please
please
pleaseshut me up now
please
i don't like the noise i make
Posted by meeple on August 23, 2007, at 6:12:23
In reply to my therapist, posted by meeple on August 23, 2007, at 5:33:11
only it is getting better now
it is
It Is
IT IS.
moments where his face drips black
moments where his tone is tainted with malevolence
moments
moments in minutes
moments in an hour
moments in a week
or two
or three
moments in months
and gradually,
creepingly,
it is getting better
i'm healing
i am
I/AMbalance is starting to come through
balance in life
balance in work
balance in socialisation
i have my weaknesses to be sure
here being one
but i've met someone
i've met someone
someone who makes me want to be well
someone who makes me be well
soothing
encouraging
yet strangely removed
strangely removed from all my sh*t
in a kind and compassionate way.and sometimes his face drips black
and sometimes his tone is tinged
but hes fairly solid.
and sometimes i see his weakness
his brooding
his depression
his removal from me
his removal from life
and i see that i could work.
i could work at making things work.
'cause there is a tiny spark in me
that responds to his basic kindness
his basic acceptance of me
and i think there is a seed of love in me
to help me want to work through the hard times.does he feel the same way?
maybe
maaaaaaaaaaaaaybeeeeeeeeeeeee
.
i don't know if he will keep feeling that
but i think i've found it
and if it doesn't work out i'll be sad
so sadbut...
maybe it is possible for me after all.keep moving forward.
life smacks you in the face sometimes
but there is little to be done but to keep moving forward
and remembering to smile in the sun.
Posted by JoniS on August 23, 2007, at 7:07:53
In reply to Re: my therapist, posted by meeple on August 23, 2007, at 6:12:23
Posted by muffled on August 23, 2007, at 10:44:41
In reply to Re: my therapist, posted by meeple on August 23, 2007, at 6:12:23
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((meeple))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I love the way you write.
It touches to the core.
Thanks for postto me above, I will respond when I have more time.
This was so beautiful and magnificent this post.
I have no words to describe it adequately...
I am SO happy you are finding goodness in this world.
Even a bit.
You give me hope too.
Muffled
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.