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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on August 1, 2007, at 15:50:08
I'm experiencing something I am not sure is depression, if it's biological or psychological, or situational, or just a truly sucky life. I'm hoping someone here can help me figure out where I really am, so that I can discuss it with my T and pdoc and work on what to do about it.
I've got a feeling as though I want to sit here and cry, but it seems like too much trouble. In fact, it seems as though it would be too much trouble to finish a thought, let alone experience an emotion. I have things to do, but can't manage to get myself moving to do them. Nothing seems to be enjoyable. I don't want to talk to anyone -- sorry, GG, I will return your call -- or keep up with emails -- there are one or two on my list who are getting responses, but mostly I'm ignoring everyone. Speaking seems like too much trouble. Leave the house? HA! Yeah, right...
I can't tell if this is actually depression, though? Or if it's something else? I know some of the apathy is from Prozac, and I know I've got some situational things going on which are leaving me kinda miserable and maybe adding to that flat feeling, but I can't tell what's biological and has to be addressed in part through drugs, which is psychological and should be addressed by therapy, and which is behavioral and just requires me to get off my fat, lazy behind.
So, can anyone offer any insight? Any questions to ask myself to see where I might lay on the emphasis?
Thanks.
Posted by ClearSkies on August 1, 2007, at 15:55:26
In reply to Is this depression? Or what?, posted by Racer on August 1, 2007, at 15:50:08
I've been thinking of buying a cattle prod or taser and asking random strangers to give me a poke now and then. It sounds kinky, but really, I just want someone, anyone, to tell me to get my stuff in gear and get on with it. Whatever it is.
Does this sound like what you have?
CS
Posted by slugdoo on August 1, 2007, at 16:25:55
In reply to Is this depression? Or what?, posted by Racer on August 1, 2007, at 15:50:08
Hi Racer,
Well when you find out what it is, tell me because it sounds how I have been feeling lately.
I think my was mostly because of the car accident, but you know what? I am better from that now, been working out almost every day for the last 2 weeks, then I injure myself exercising. LOL I was just feeling better too. It sound like depression to me, as to what kind, I am not sure. (((((Racer))))
Posted by Dinah on August 1, 2007, at 18:31:37
In reply to Is this depression? Or what?, posted by Racer on August 1, 2007, at 15:50:08
I'd attack it on all fronts, really. I'm not sure if you can neatly divide it. If you have a predisposition to depression, that's biological, and if bad things are happen situationally, it's likely to activate that predisposition, and behavioral choices will reinforce it.
So.... It would probably help to force yourself to return those calls, and to do as many pleasurable things as you can manage.
And it would probably help to use therapy to address the situational factors.
And if there are medications that are helpful with the physical aspects, that's what they're there for.
That's the way I'm trying to work with my problems with daytime grogginess. Lots of small attacks, and hope they add up to something bigger.
Take care, and don't beat yourself up if the most you can force yourself to do doesn't seem like enough to you. It is enough.
Posted by Deneb on August 2, 2007, at 0:16:20
In reply to Is this depression? Or what?, posted by Racer on August 1, 2007, at 15:50:08
I don't think it really matters what it is. If it's bothering you, then it's worth looking into. I would do something to help even if the bad feelings are short and temporary. Maybe try a little of everything to help. Do the easier things first.
I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by DAisym on August 2, 2007, at 0:31:57
In reply to Is this depression? Or what?, posted by Racer on August 1, 2007, at 15:50:08
Sounds like grief to me. Overwhelming, tidal grief. The psychological weight of it keeps the body pinned down and the brain in a semi-off switch. Wishing the world would just go to sleep for a little while.
One of the ways to figure out if it is physical is to note how you feel at different times of the day (or night). Do you wake up OK for a few minutes and then remember your life and feel bent over again? Do you feel different a few hours after taking your medications? Do you feel better if you eat (are you eating?)? If so, does eating protein help? Or sugar?
It is a viscious cycle - brain/body -- body/brain. but break it anywhere and other things will fall in line. I think I'd start with a trip to your GP and check your hormone levels and weight.
And give yourself some credit - you wrote a whole post. Reaching out is good.
Posted by OzLand on August 2, 2007, at 0:43:22
In reply to Is this depression? Or what?, posted by Racer on August 1, 2007, at 15:50:08
Sounds like you are trying to numb yourself so you won't feel the misery and pain. And, I think you have an idea of what the misery and pain are about. Sounds like too much to handle right now, the implications of ...
OzLand
Posted by Poet on August 2, 2007, at 9:38:49
In reply to Is this depression? Or what?, posted by Racer on August 1, 2007, at 15:50:08
Hi Racer,
I would say it's depression combined with "or what?" I know depression well, and the feeling of wanting to cry, actually needing to cry and not being able to. On top of that not really knowing why I feel like crying to begin with.
I wouldn't say you are ignoring people, you are what expdoc would call "isolating." Curling up into that mental ball. Conversations whether in person or online take energy and I know when I'm more depressed I barely have the physical or mental energy to drag myself off the couch.
Maybe start with psychological? Figure out what may have triggered you being depressed? I know for me right now it's more situational than biological, but Dr. Clueless would argue that as she wants me to up my meds. Sorry, not much help here. Anyway I would start with my T and talk about what is going on. Hey, maybe I should have done that yesterday. Damn, another wasted session.
Poet
Posted by antigua3 on August 2, 2007, at 10:15:20
In reply to Re: Is this depression? Or what? » Racer, posted by Poet on August 2, 2007, at 9:38:49
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're feeling this way--it's all so familiar. I agree that you should look at it on all fronts.
I hope you feel better soon. Sorry I'm not much help, but you are a very special person to all of us here and nobody likes to hear that you're feeling badly.
antigua
Posted by Phillipa on August 2, 2007, at 11:38:56
In reply to Re: Is this depression? Or what?, posted by antigua3 on August 2, 2007, at 10:15:20
Uggg I have an e-mail friend who yes makes me do and go somewhere when I feel I can't she really is not mean she's pushing me one thing is all she asks and I know she right. I do it too. Love Phillipa so maybe do one thing?
Posted by Racer on August 2, 2007, at 13:53:56
In reply to Re: Is this depression? Or what? » Racer, posted by OzLand on August 2, 2007, at 0:43:22
Well, I'm going to respond in one post, because I don't much have the energy or motivation to manage individual responses.
Thank you all, though.
ClearSkies:
> I've been thinking of buying a cattle prod or taser and asking random strangers to give me a poke now and then. It sounds kinky, but really, I just want someone, anyone, to tell me to get my stuff in gear and get on with it. Whatever it is.
>
> Does this sound like what you have?
>Nope. I don't want to have anyone close enough to me for that to work. And I don't much care if any of these things gets done. I plod along with the things I think I might otherwise want done, or the things I think I might enjoy, but it doesn't seem as though there's any point, really. So, not just amotivation, I guess...
And Daisy:
> One of the ways to figure out if it is physical is to note how you feel at different times of the day (or night). Do you wake up OK for a few minutes and then remember your life and feel bent over again? Do you feel different a few hours after taking your medications? Do you feel better if you eat (are you eating?)? If so, does eating protein help? Or sugar?
>Very good advice. No, not waking up OK -- waking up, and dreading having to get out of bed. Also dreading getting into bed -- in fact, I should recognize this pattern by now: I'm avoiding going to bed. That's often a sign of depression for me: I'll end up staying up most of the night, a sort of aversion to going upstairs to bed. In fact, when it gets really bad, I'll sleep on the sofa to avoid bed.
The only thing I really notice about my meds is the Concerta -- and even that's more subtle than the IR Ritalin. I still feel the need for a nap, and usually sleep just fine when I do. And sleeping at night is kinda wonky -- I wake up a lot, but go straight back to sleep. I haven't gotten to the point, yet, of waking up at 5 and just lying there, but I suspect I'd better do something to avoid that, since I suspect it's coming.
And eating? I'm having a hell of a time because of my weight right now. And can't think of anything I want to eat, but can't avoid eating, either. Grrr
I'd better get out my sewing machine. I still need to finish that dress, so that I can buy shoes to go with it. You'll still help?
xoxo
And Antigua? Thank you. That meant a lot to me.
Posted by sunnydays on August 2, 2007, at 20:56:33
In reply to Thanks, all..., posted by Racer on August 2, 2007, at 13:53:56
Sure sounds like depression to me. (((((Racer)))) I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. You don't deserve to have to. But it does sound like depression to me. Not sleeping, lack of motivation, isolating, trouble eating... I'm not sure you need many more symptoms before it's depression. Can you talk to your T about it?
sunnydays
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