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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on July 22, 2007, at 12:26:45
So what else should be on this list d'ya suppose????
What I would want in a T
- a person who is consistant with follow thru of stuff from session to session.
- VERY organized and consistant and clear as to what direction we taking.
- a person who will not let me get away w/wimping out or being lazy
- who is willing to push me hard into organizing my life, and holding me accountable.
- a person who has some experience w/memory loss, dissociation, depression, addictions, etc.
- a person who's real matter of fact bout sex and intimacy stuff
- who is clear about 'stuff' in therapy - clear boundaries
- who is good at getting to the crux of the situ. cuz I often am confused. So good questions mebbe to help me find way.
- who does LOTS of reflecting
- honest and straighforward
- not some radical religion
- sliding scale
-write stuff down lots or even record sessions.Thx
M
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 22, 2007, at 13:19:58
In reply to What i would want in a T....what else?, posted by muffled on July 22, 2007, at 12:26:45
That's a great list, Muffled. So which ones does your current T do well and which ones are missing? Part of the reason I'm asking is that I'm wondering if you could take the list in and discuss with her where you feel like the two of you have gotten off track. You know? Because if she knew, for instance, that you wanted her to push harder, she'd do it.
Posted by OzLand on July 22, 2007, at 14:50:19
In reply to What i would want in a T....what else?, posted by muffled on July 22, 2007, at 12:26:45
Well, my therapist is all of the above on your list except the last two. No sliding scale, and he does not record sessions. He really does not need to; he remembers. I guess he takes notes later.
Posted by muffled on July 23, 2007, at 0:47:40
In reply to Re: What i would want in a T....what else? » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on July 22, 2007, at 13:19:58
TG I feel I have been clear in my writings to my T.
But I write SO much, and there is never enuf time to cover all the 'stuff'. Then it gets lost in the shuffle.
Whenever I get stressed in T, I say I goto goto bathroom, and then I pace and swear etc until I calmer, then I go back, and she backs right off and just tries to bring me back from my somewhat dissoc state. And the moment passes, and whatever I might have learned is lost.
My T is vey kind and was good at getting me to trust her up to a point. She done real good work at what she does, but I think she can do no more.
I have asked her to do some pretty specific stuff in my writings, but it gets lost in the shuffle, and she don't do it.
I guess she needs more verbal communication, cuz I don't know that my writings sink in that well with her. She has told me b4 that communication is alot of body language etc, and words don't have that I guess.
Sometimes she DOES 'get' me, and it feels SOOOOOOOOOOO good. But it don't happen that often, and really, ultimately it just hurts, cuz then I like her more, and thats not good. Cuz she not so available. Or at least I not perceiving it as so.
I have a feeling I am missing something here as ususal? Why I can't let her too close despite all her efforts?...
Arrrggghhhh.
Anyhow, you been an unfailing support to me TG and I thank you.
Muffled
Posted by muffled on July 23, 2007, at 0:49:09
In reply to Re: What i would want in a T....what else? » muffled, posted by OzLand on July 22, 2007, at 14:50:19
Hey Oz your T sounds great, Glad you finally got a goodun.
Hope &^%* ol Bob takes that pic down soon.
Take care Oz.
M
Posted by muffled on July 23, 2007, at 1:02:53
In reply to What i would want in a T....what else?, posted by muffled on July 22, 2007, at 12:26:45
**Which ones is MY T good for??? Hmmm
> - a person who is consistant with follow thru of stuff from session to session.
**Nope
> - VERY organized and consistant and clear as to what direction we taking.**nope
> - a person who will not let me get away w/wimping out or being lazy
**sometimes...
> - who is willing to push me hard into organizing my life, and holding me accountable.
**nope
> - a person who has some experience w/memory loss, dissociation, depression, addictions, etc.
**nope
> - a person who's real matter of fact bout sex and intimacy stuff
**nope
> - who is clear about 'stuff' in therapy - clear boundaries
**sorta
> - who is good at getting to the crux of the situ. cuz I often am confused. So good questions mebbe to help me find way.
**sometimes
> - who does LOTS of reflecting
**sometimes
> - honest and straighforward**YES!!!!!
> - not some radical religion
**YES!
> - sliding scale
**YES!
> -write stuff down lots or even record sessions.
**nope
**Hmmmm, I think this makes my T look bad, cuz what I was looking for when I first went to her is DIFF from what I looking for now. I could add.
Good at unconditional acceptance. YES
Someone I feel comfortable with. YES
Someone who will be patient with me. YES
Someone to teach me to cope. YES
Someone who makes me feel better bout myself and humanity. YES
Someone who would bend over backwards to try and help me. YES
Etc etc.
So she IS good at many things, and they have helped me. But I think if I am to progress, that maybe I need a diff approach now. God, I SO wish it could be OK with her, I want to try.....but I wonder if I should :-(
Guess I can at least somehow get up the gumption to talk to her bout it. Try and actually talk some.
Prob is that she SO brings out my younger parts and that messes me up for trying to communicate.
LOL, one time my 'Toughie' was there, and she at one point said she was ready to throttle me!!! LOL! I think I will always remember that as a most wonderful moment, cuz it went right to Toughie and she was SO delighted.
But my T tries, but don't understand ego states much, so while she has tried to 'talk' to kid or whatever, she doesn't persue it. She kinda is lost I think, and so is all over and not terribly coordinated in what we trying to do. She dunno, amnd I dunno either.
Oh well.
If you still reading anybody...thanks.
Muffled
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 23, 2007, at 6:36:36
In reply to Oooops forgot TG, posted by muffled on July 23, 2007, at 1:02:53
I will respond to this more fully tonight, Muffled, when I have had time to think it through and more time to write a response.
But I wanted to let you know that I did read it all the way through. :-) I like how you are processing all of this -- it feels like you are taking care of yourself and all your parts.
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 23, 2007, at 18:38:15
In reply to Oooops forgot TG, posted by muffled on July 23, 2007, at 1:02:53
> **Hmmmm, I think this makes my T look bad, cuz what I was looking for when I first went to her is DIFF from what I looking for now.
Ahhh -- this might be the crux of the matter. But I still think somehow you should share the list with her of what you need now and see how she responds. Because she's been a good T for you in the past and because I know how hard it is to build trust, etc.
I could add.
>
> Good at unconditional acceptance. YES
> Someone I feel comfortable with. YES
> Someone who will be patient with me. YES
> Someone to teach me to cope. YES
> Someone who makes me feel better bout myself and humanity. YES
> Someone who would bend over backwards to try and help me. YES
> Etc etc.
> So she IS good at many things, and they have helped me. But I think if I am to progress, that maybe I need a diff approach now. God, I SO wish it could be OK with her, I want to try.....but I wonder if I should :-(You ultimately have to make this decision on your own, but I tend to think you should try. You've invested a lot in this relationship, as has your T. It may be that she can't give you what you're needing now. But I think you should give her a chance. Just my opinion, though. I'll certainly understand completely if you make a different decision.
> Guess I can at least somehow get up the gumption to talk to her bout it. Try and actually talk some.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really respect the work you're doing, Muffled, and I know how hard this is.
Keep on taking care of yourself, okay? I'm proud to call you my friend.
Posted by muffled on July 23, 2007, at 23:09:42
In reply to Re: Oooops forgot TG » muffled, posted by TherapyGirl on July 23, 2007, at 18:38:15
> Ahhh -- this might be the crux of the matter. But I still think somehow you should share the list with her of what you need now and see how she responds. Because she's been a good T for you in the past and because I know how hard it is to build trust, etc.**Yeah its tough to change..
>>But I think if I am to progress, that maybe I need a diff approach now. God, I SO wish it could be OK with her, I want to try.....but I wonder if I should :-(
> > Guess I can at least somehow get up the gumption to talk to her bout it. Try and actually talk some.
>
> YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> I really respect the work you're doing, Muffled, and I know how hard this is.
>
> Keep on taking care of yourself, okay? I'm proud to call you my friend.**Awww TG thanks.
I guess I can at least attempt to ask her , her opinion. Or I could fax her the question, and see how she responds...
THis sure does suck all this.
I won't see her for another 3 wks proly anyways.
Guess I doing good cuz I not totally freaking w/o T , but I sure miss her. She soothes the savage beast in me.
I proud you my friend too.
I'm glad you put up with my weirdnessess. That means alot.
Muffled
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