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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Barna on June 15, 2007, at 8:21:12
Hi all,
I terminated a 3-year therapy with my T six months ago, but I continued seeing her in a personal growth group every two weeks, which has been very useful and comforting. Now the group finishes next month, and I asked her to meet outside therapy (in the real world) for a coffee. She said she would be very glad to meet for a coffee when I want.
Now I'm kind of scared, I've been waiting for this moment for a long time, and I think I won't know what to say. I would like to ask her so many questions... I guess I just have to be myself and act as if she was a friend, without asking many questions.
I would like to have her as a friend, she is a nice person, but I don't know if this will be possible.
Posted by muffled on June 15, 2007, at 9:31:06
In reply to Seeing my T outside therapy, posted by Barna on June 15, 2007, at 8:21:12
I think you should be very open and discuss this with her.
What are your motives in desiring friendship?
Will you be OK with much less avaialability. You won't see her as often.
You will likely worry whether you being friends or whether she being a free T or something.
Yhe focus should not be all on you in friendship and that will be diff.
I think there's lotsa stuff, can't think all now. But definately talk bout it to T.
I'm in the same situ, I am very confused. My T is just way to like me in interests and stuff. But the transition will be hard, dunno if I want her for a friend enuf to go thru the troubles.....
My latest thot, is that she could be a hiking buddy, and could come on hikes w/me and friends.
Then we can talk Godstuff, cuz I like that, and T got good bible knowledge.
Best wishes,
Muffled
Posted by sunnydays on June 15, 2007, at 10:17:03
In reply to Seeing my T outside therapy, posted by Barna on June 15, 2007, at 8:21:12
Have you read "In Session: The Bond Between Women and their Therapists"? It doesn't necessarily say that a friendship is bad after T, but it raises some issues that would be really important to think about before you do this. Some of them, muffled raised in her post above.
sunnydays
Posted by Dinah on June 15, 2007, at 11:28:47
In reply to Seeing my T outside therapy, posted by Barna on June 15, 2007, at 8:21:12
I think the way you're feeling right now is not really the way you'd feel about meeting people in general for coffee. And that intensity of feeling left over from therapy would be my concern about friendship. What she would say would likely carry more weight with you and affect you more than acquaintances or even friends in general.
I think in theory it can be done. But I think the best thing to do for yourself is look deep inside and see whether it would be healthy for *you* - honestly and trying not to let what you want influence what you decide.
Posted by Barna on June 16, 2007, at 5:19:18
In reply to Re: Seeing my T outside therapy » Barna, posted by Dinah on June 15, 2007, at 11:28:47
Thanks muffled, sunnydays and Dinah for your comments, they are very helpful. I will think about it.
I want her friendship because I think we have things in common. Also I want to know her more, although I don't know if she wants me to know more about her or if she wants to know more about me.
Anyway, I'll discuss this with her the first time we meet. It will be weird to meet with her in a different context but I think it will be OK.
This is the end of the thread.
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