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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by peddidle on June 12, 2007, at 19:33:28
So I finally sent that email I mentioned a few weeks ago, about how my T said that if something happened, she would feel like she was blowing it, and how I know that I'm really frustrating because I hardly talk, but that realized that she is the first T that I've allowed myself to be completely honest with (at least, to the extent that I'm able to), etc.
Anyway, this is what she wrote back:
"Thanks for email. I have been thinking of you. I liked a lot about the email and appreciated it.
I really don't find you frustrating--I get the struggle and truly just want you to feel good. I like that you are able to express yourself better in writing--and I want us to work on helping you to express yourself with words too. I have to go --will write more later. Have a great day."I'm not expecting her to write more, because she tends to forget when she says things like that.
Should I respond now, or should I wait? I don't know what to say... I know she wants me to feel good, and I know she understands. I just wish I was able to tell her things out-loud, instead of through email. I don't see her again until late August, so I guess I'll have to wait to work on that until then.
It may seem like I express myself better through writing, but it took me a long time to write that email, and even when it was written, it sat on my computer for weeks and I would change things almost every day. So, I don't know that I express myself better that way, but maybe it's just easier for me. Then again, this could just be the depression talking.
Posted by peddidle on June 12, 2007, at 20:38:52
In reply to finally sent the email, posted by peddidle on June 12, 2007, at 19:33:28
I wish there was a way to delete posts. I should have paraphrased that email. It's not that I don't want any of you to know what she wrote, I just feel weird about having posted the exact email. Like, it's a special thing and I want to keep it for myself or something... I don't know.
Posted by annierose on June 12, 2007, at 21:43:41
In reply to I feel weird about that post, posted by peddidle on June 12, 2007, at 20:38:52
It was a nice post and very sweet e-mail reply. I'm sorry you are feeing bad about sharing it. We all like to hear about nice things our therapists bring to the table ...
If it were me, I would not write back right away. Think about what she said, give it some time, and then reply. August is a long time to wait ... very long.
Posted by Dinah on June 13, 2007, at 11:08:03
In reply to finally sent the email, posted by peddidle on June 12, 2007, at 19:33:28
Don't feel weird! That was a lovely reply.
If it weren't for the fact that you don't see her again until late August, I'd say you might want to write down what you want to say and read it in person. My therapist used to ask that I do that.
Hmmm... Now or later... A tough one. On the one hand, if you respond now, she'll have a better chance of really remembering what you're talking about even if you include the text of her email to you. But on the other hand, you don't want her to feel like you'll be emailing her on a very frequent basis over the summer unless she's encouraged you to do that of course.
But... I never could wait. I'd just obsess and obsess about what he said and writing and sending it put it out of my mind. Then he'd wait a good long time before he'd respond and then I'd shoot back another reply and he'd wait a good long time. It made me feel like the pursuer or something and didn't feel so good. I eventually told him that our correspondence was doing more harm than good and I didn't want to continue it. He emailed me two weeks later as if he'd never gotten that email at all, asking if everything was ok since he hadn't heard from me. Idiot. But that's me and my therapist and your relationship might have totally different dynamics. Plus my therapist really isn't keen on email in general. He types laboriously.
This is the end of the thread.
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