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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gazo on May 29, 2007, at 8:23:24
how goes the new T relationship? i saw you made a mention to sunny. Can you share anything about just how the new guy is helping you process this? i think it was the right thing to do to post about it here, disturbing or not, it's a flip side. Have you been able to find anything else out about the old T? Google? If it were me i'd be dying to know. Have you considered a 3 way meeting wit both T's? Just wondering.
i haven't followed the ethics thread that i started really, but your case brings up some very strong ethics issues i would think
Posted by twinleaf on May 29, 2007, at 9:54:05
In reply to twinleaf, posted by gazo on May 29, 2007, at 8:23:24
Thanks for inquiiring, Gazo! The new relationship is going well; he's a very different type of person- calmer, more thoughtful, not prone to introducing his own feelings as much, but very caring, also. We are treating what happened to me with the old T as a severe trauma- I think it's the worst one of my adult life- but any thoughts of somehow working it out with the old T just don't seem likely at all. What he said and did were so extreme, hurtful and sudden, that there really isn't anything he can say to undo it; he also followed up that session with two letters- both blaming me for what happened. I think he would be very embarrassed and defensive- probably would not do it in front of a colleague whom he unoubtedly thinks highly of. I don't think there's anything he could say to me, now, that would undo the damage he's done, anyway. My job is to gradually move beyond it, stop hurting so much, and deepen my sense that there is another T for me who will help, and not hurt. That's all slowly happening- I wish it were happening a bit faster, but it IS happening. Thanks for asking!
Posted by gazo on May 29, 2007, at 13:24:04
In reply to Re: twinleaf » gazo, posted by twinleaf on May 29, 2007, at 9:54:05
you're welcome :o)
i was only asking about the 3 way as i had been reading a psych book in which a T had done that for a traumatized patient.. it had also involved another T but with a different scenario. The guy sounds like he takes the cake. i would still be dying to know what had happened to cause his apparent rupture. i think that would eat me alive.
i am very happy to hear the new T is working out so well. In the end maybe this new guy would do better by you anyway. i hope it continues to help.
Posted by twinleaf on May 29, 2007, at 17:53:33
In reply to Re: twinleaf » twinleaf, posted by gazo on May 29, 2007, at 13:24:04
Gazo, I think in this appalling situation I got into, my best bet is to do the very best I can with the new one- and there are a lot of hopeful and encouraging possibilities with him. I'm better off not seeing the old one- it would put him in a very bad situation, and would probably slow me down from letting go, which I'm working very hard to do. There are some things that are just so hurtful and awful that there is no repairing them. If I could have had my choice, we would at least have had a reasonable termination. I would have thought he would have been in agreement on the importance of that- but he wasn't.
Hope things are going OK with you?
Posted by DAisym on May 29, 2007, at 23:15:56
In reply to Re: twinleaf » twinleaf, posted by gazo on May 29, 2007, at 13:24:04
What is the book? (I have a guess)
Posted by gazo on May 31, 2007, at 11:17:09
In reply to Re: twinleaf » gazo, posted by DAisym on May 29, 2007, at 23:15:56
Yalom's Love's executioner... i wouldn't recommend the book really though. I read both that book and the Gift of Psychotherapy and really didn't like him.
Posted by DAisym on May 31, 2007, at 14:28:07
In reply to Re: twinleaf » DAisym, posted by gazo on May 31, 2007, at 11:17:09
Thank you. Nope, I was wrong. Not the book I was thinking of.
Posted by muffled on June 1, 2007, at 22:50:06
In reply to Re: twinleaf » gazo, posted by twinleaf on May 29, 2007, at 9:54:05
You sure doing the right things it would seem.
I find it bizzare that that old T ALSO wrote two letters :-(
He sounds very messed up :-(
I hope he gets the help he needs.
I'm so sorry a kind soul like yourself got caught in the debris of his problems. Debris, that is too soft a term...you got caught in the tsunami more like. But you survived, and are getting help to deal with it. I am glad of that.
Also, my T REALLY liked that post you posted to me a while back that I said I was gonna give to her. It helped ALOT, cuz we been sorta lost, and that helped us get back on track.
Thanks.
Muffled
Posted by twinleaf on June 1, 2007, at 23:44:07
In reply to Re: twinleaf » twinleaf, posted by muffled on June 1, 2007, at 22:50:06
I'm so glad things are going better!
The old T is 60 years old, and, expecially because he thinks the rupture between us is my fault, I doubt that he would consider getting any help for himself. The new T (younger) and I have worked out a tentative scenario about what happened. As you know, I was going five days a week, and mostly lying on the couch- I sometimes didn't want to, but he said it was important to allow for regression back to the original traumas. I gradually regressed back so that I was much more aware of my worst trauma- that I had been a baby without a mother (she went away on a long cruise with her own mother, and I never bonded with her)). It hurt a LOT, but I was somehow proud that I could do it. But- and I guess this shows just how powerful unconsious pressures can be- he suddenly turned into HER! Having been patient, empathic, just terrific, really, he suddenly became cold, rejecting and accusatory. He was hurtful and insulting- and just threw me right out. I'm never going to really comprehend how, as a highly trained analyst, he couldn't have understood better what was happening, and corrected it in himself. This has really compounded the original trauma a lot. But the new T is very smart, warm and helpful- I'm much better than I was a few months ago. I don't have the connection I once had to the old one- yet- but I hope that I will in time.
Sometimes I miss the "good" old T whom I loved and trusted for four years so much. When I miss him the most, I do google him- he's all over the place- lots of articles, mentions, etc. It's not a good idea, really, as I need, more than anything, to let go of him. Well, bit by bit! Not that I have ever sued anyone for anything, but you can't sue someone for behaving like your mother! At least I don't think so.
Posted by muffled on June 2, 2007, at 20:44:52
In reply to Re: twinleaf » muffled, posted by twinleaf on June 1, 2007, at 23:44:07
Posted by twinleaf on June 2, 2007, at 21:24:40
In reply to (((( twinleaf)))you a good person (nm) » twinleaf, posted by muffled on June 2, 2007, at 20:44:52
This is the end of the thread.
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