![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by wishingstar on May 23, 2007, at 7:48:36
Any recommendations on choosing a new T? I know the basic ways... referrals from another T or another doctor, etc.. but that hasnt worked out terribly well for me so far. I have lots of names. I'm very familiar with the services in my area since I work in mental health myself. I know some I'll cross off the list automatically, but short of just pulling names out of a hat and randomly trying people, is there anything else I can do? I guess I know the answer to my own question... there really isnt. But I'm just so tired of trying and having it not work out. My options are very limited because I dont have insurance and dont make much money, so it must be on a sliding scale. There is one center in town with a few Ts, and another a town over, that would only charge me $15/hr... I went to the one in town once and really didnt like the building or the T I saw, but I guess I could try again. The other center a town over is where Ginny is. There are lots of good Ts there but I dont think I could handle running into her every week. I dont think I'll ask Ginny for a referral anywhere else because I dont think she really understands what I'm saying I need. Any thoughts? Magic answers?
Posted by Fallsfall on May 23, 2007, at 8:45:25
In reply to choosing a new T, posted by wishingstar on May 23, 2007, at 7:48:36
If you can get a list of recommendations from more than one place (i.e. Ginny, GP, PDOC and some therapist you happen to know socially), then you can see if anyone comes up on more than one list - they are doubly recommended. When asking for the recommendations, try to be specific about what YOU think you need (for me, I needed someone strong and intelligent - those were more important than warmth or location).
My old therapist (who I left because we weren't working out any more) did give me references, including the one I eventually chose. She knew exactly what I needed. She didn't support my move from CBT to Psychodynamic - but she did accept that I was looking for Psychodynamic references. I would ask Ginny to help you find a new therapist, but tell her what you are looking for.
Good luck. Do interview at least 3 therapists, and keep going if you don't like the first 3. I interviewed 5.
Posted by Phillipa on May 23, 2007, at 10:25:39
In reply to Re: choosing a new T, posted by Fallsfall on May 23, 2007, at 8:45:25
Problem I've had is that a few have misrepresented themselves at the first interview only when starting the work does it come out. I've been through about four since moving here. Very hard to do and the recommended ones didn't turn out only the one I med in the ER although very young we seemed to click but she doesn't see patients only works for the hospital. Can you do a google search for therapists in your area that's how I found the one I'm using now. Good luck Phillipa
Posted by peddidle on May 23, 2007, at 12:15:58
In reply to choosing a new T, posted by wishingstar on May 23, 2007, at 7:48:36
Definitely ask for recommendations, but don't be surprised if you don't like them. One therapist might be great for some people, but may not work for you. It doesn't mean they're not good at what they do, or they're not good for those people, it just means it's not a good fit for you.
It seems like you need a therapist who is willing to deviate from their usual ways, if necessary. Maybe start off with a few eclectic therapists, if possible, or at least ones that aren't strictly bound to any one orientation.
Other than that, I can only recommend a few websites that I know of: psychologytoday.com, nddb.net, ratemds.com
Can you call Anne for advice?
I know it's hard. I wish I had some magic words, but I completely lucked into my therapist.
Good luck.
Posted by Racer on May 23, 2007, at 15:38:48
In reply to Re: choosing a new T, posted by peddidle on May 23, 2007, at 12:15:58
Falls had some good advice. At least, I think it's great advice, because it's essentially what I was going to say...
What I did, to find my fabulous-for-me psychoterrorist, was to interview a bunch of Ts over the telephone, and then see those who made it through the telephone screening, and then chose the one who worked for me. I did have a dead end on one, whom I saw a few times, then realized it was a bad fit, but the basic method worked well for me.
In my case, though, it was much harder to find someone willing to see me. Many therapists won't see an adult with anorexia, and even a few who did see eating disordered clients wouldn't see me -- they basically said that I needed to be treated inpatient, because my weight was too low to treat outpatient. But the telephone interviews told me enough that I had a bit of an idea even before seeing those who'd treat me. (One of who told me in the session that she had grave misgivings about seeing me OP, based on my size at the time.) And I could rule a few out right away, which helped keep the expense down. The one I found who's worked out -- two years and counting, and she's still fabulous-for-me -- did have the highest recommendations, but it wouldn't have made any difference if she hadn't been a good fit.
In your situation, though, you've got it harder. Here's what I'd do: I'd call both centers, and ask whether you can have "interview" sessions with a few therapists, or if you can switch to another if the first doesn't work out. If they say no, then I'd want an awful lot more information about each T there. And, if neither is going to work out for you, I would also ask them for referrals elsewhere. Sometimes, at least around here, some private Ts will see a certain number of sliding scale clients. It's worth checking into.
Lastly, although this is not the solution I'd use and I hesitate to mention it, there's a kind of a medical-expense-credit-card thing that has about an 18 month 0% interest that you could look into to pay for therapy. Believe me, I do know all the reasons not to do that, but it's out there and I thought I'd mention it. If you're interested, I'll go look for the name of it.
So, you're right, your situation is much harder than average, because of the insurance thing. But there is still something you can do, and I think going into it with the mindset that you're going to find a good-for-you-now therapist, rather than that you'll have to settle for what you can get, would be good for you. Very empowering.
Oh, yeah -- and firing a therapist who isn't working out is VERY empowering! I highly recommend it!
Good luck, and if there's anything I can do, let me know.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 23, 2007, at 20:54:43
In reply to I agree with Fallsfall, posted by Racer on May 23, 2007, at 15:38:48
My T was nice enough to make many phone calls on my behalf. I will see two of them next week.
Basically, what she did was call up the local University counselling service and ask them who they refer their students out to for _____ insert your particular situation.
One thing I'm not clear about is whether the first session gets charged as a session. Do you guys know?
best,
-Ll
Posted by twinleaf on May 23, 2007, at 21:30:36
In reply to I'm looking too, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 23, 2007, at 20:54:43
Yeah, I think you do get charged. How great that your present T is helping you so much. She obviously cares a lot that you continue to get good care, and having choices is great! When do you actually move?
Posted by Nathan_Arizona on May 24, 2007, at 7:15:13
In reply to choosing a new T, posted by wishingstar on May 23, 2007, at 7:48:36
for therapist shopping. You pay a flat fee and interview a bunch of therapists for 15 minutes and see if you click with any of them.
But I like the the idea in this thread about the phone interview.
I didn't do that and I flitted around through several dud therapists until I landed with mine.
Posted by Fallsfall on May 24, 2007, at 7:27:10
In reply to I'm looking too, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 23, 2007, at 20:54:43
Yes, they charge you for the interview sessions. Unfortunately. But finding the right therapist is worth it, and also being confident that you really shopped around is worth it (at least it was for me)
Posted by wishingstar on May 24, 2007, at 9:44:26
In reply to I agree with Fallsfall, posted by Racer on May 23, 2007, at 15:38:48
Thanks everyone for your excellent advice.. I appreciate all the ideas.
I've made appts with 2 new therapists and waiting on a third to return my call. The first is at the sliding scale agency, the second is at the hospital, and the third (hopefully) is just at a local practice. All women, which I prefer. They arent until June 4 and June 12, but thats okay.
One of the therapists first name is Ann. Had to be, right? Different Ann from evil-T-Anne, but still. But I'll only have to pay her $15/hr (sliding scale agency) and she has her LCSW and Ed.D. so I'm going to give it a chance. Could be good.
I know it isnt healthy or good, but I'm really hesitant to ask Ginny for any recommendations because I dont think I can involve her in this process at all. It'd be too hard. As frustrated and disconnected as I feel with Ginny right now, I really, really liked her for awhile, and it's really hard to consider that that connection wont be coming back. It just seems to be getting worse so I think it's the right decision, but it's hard. So talking to Ginny about leaving in those specific of terms.... I just dont know. I just want the old Ginny back.
I dont have a primary care doc or any other docs, except my pdoc, and one of the appts I made is at her practice. The leader of the IOP DBT program I'm in recommended the woman I'll be seeing there. I'm not really close enough to any of my past Ts anymore to ask them for recommendations. Pediddle, I know you werent around when the whole situation with my old T Anne happened... but I dont think shed be glad to hear from me! In fact, she'll only communicate by letters now (such as when I realized she'd been overpaid and hadnt said anything about it)... I wouldnt want her recommendations anyway. Not if the people she recommended were anything like her.
Probably going to cancel my appt with Ginny for next week. First, I need to start distancing myself emotionally. Second, I always just seem to feel worse when I leave there.. not because I'm doing hard work, but because I'm trying to hard to reconnect and getting shot down over and over.. and she just doesnt understand that. I always seem to forget by the next week how that feels and go again.. so maybe I'll cancel today so that I do it before I forget.
Thanks everyone. I think this is a big step for me. I cant believe I'm having to switch again...... I just want the old Ginny back. But if none of these work out, seeing Laurie 2 hours away is still a possibility.
Posted by Happyflower on May 24, 2007, at 10:15:53
In reply to made some appts, posted by wishingstar on May 24, 2007, at 9:44:26
Good luck in finding a great T. You deserve it! Keep us posted on how it goes.
Posted by frida on May 24, 2007, at 10:52:23
In reply to made some appts, posted by wishingstar on May 24, 2007, at 9:44:26
This takes a lot of courage and I'm glad you are giving it a try.
I wish Ginny could get what you need and truly hear you.
I understand how you feel worse every time when you try so hard and things don't work out :-(
I just wish Ginny could understand this. I'm sorry that you couldn't talk to her.About seeing Laurie...I just wanted to share, my T lives an hour and a half from where I live and sometimes it takes a little more to get there, depending on traffic, etc. I work a lot and it's quite a long time to get there and come back but it is very important for me to go and the connection I have is worth it and somehow I find the way.
Maybe it's a possibility for you..Frida
Posted by wishingstar on May 24, 2007, at 11:42:20
In reply to Re: made some appts » wishingstar, posted by frida on May 24, 2007, at 10:52:23
Thanks both of you. Seeing Laurie is still an option.. I havent written it off completely. There are several problems with seeing her though. One is that it's a 2 hour drive. Not the end of the world, and I dont really mind doing it all that much. However, my appt has to in the morning because there is very bad rush hour and it can take me 3+ hours to get home if I leave after 2pm (she's near DC). I work half an hour south of here, and she is north, so it'd make it impossible to even go in to work on therapy days. Gas it ridiculously expensive (as you all know!) But the biggest factor is that I have to pay her $75/hr out of pocket. Her regular rate is $100 so $75 is the discounted rate since my insurance doesnt cover it. My income is very low.. so much so that I'm in the lowest bracket at the hospital and probably wont have to pay a cent for the IOP program I'm in right now. My point is just that $75 is a LOT of money for me and I'm not sure I can maintain that for more than a few weeks at a time. Heck, seeing her once a week would be over a third of my income, not including gas, time away from work, etc. I've thought about trying to see her every other week (more managable financially) and that's a possibility still. I know she'd let me "owe her" and only pay part at a time, but I already have thousands of dollars of hospital bills I cant pay so I'm hesitant.
Whine whine whine! :) Sorry. Im not trying to make excuses, although Im sure it sounds that way. I'm really just trying to reason it out and come to the best decision. If after meeting these new Ts I still feel like seeing Laurie is the best decision, then I'll just have to make it work.
Posted by Racer on May 24, 2007, at 19:32:36
In reply to I wish there was something like speed dating » wishingstar, posted by Nathan_Arizona on May 24, 2007, at 7:15:13
Posted by raisinb on May 25, 2007, at 8:59:39
In reply to Ain't that the truth? Speed-dating sounds good! (nm) » Nathan_Arizona, posted by Racer on May 24, 2007, at 19:32:36
What they SHOULD do is have a therapist Match.com. Maybe the T's current clients should write the profiles, though :)
Posted by peddidle on May 25, 2007, at 12:50:40
In reply to Re: choosing a new T, posted by peddidle on May 23, 2007, at 12:15:58
I think I meant to say Laurie, not Ann. Sorry about that!!
Also, would Laurie be willing to do phone sessions for a little while if you can't travel that far to see her?
Posted by wishingstar on May 26, 2007, at 15:14:50
In reply to Re: Ain't that the truth? Speed-dating sounds good!, posted by raisinb on May 25, 2007, at 8:59:39
Posted by wishingstar on May 26, 2007, at 15:16:32
In reply to Oops!, posted by peddidle on May 25, 2007, at 12:50:40
Thats okay. :)
I hadnt really thought about that. I'm not sure what Laurie would say about phone sessions. She may be willing. Maybe if I did 2 phone and 2 in-person sessions a month? Not sure. I'll keep that suggestion in mind. Thanks!
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.