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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on April 5, 2007, at 0:44:46
Wish me luck. I'm trying to break maladaptive ways of interacting. I want to be a better person.
I will cry, but I'll try my hardest to say happy things. Me being upset upsets others, so I will try to be happy.
I have to care more about other people. I have to let other people take care of themselves. Just because someone leaves me doesn't mean they don't care about me.
I have to think about other people.
Deneb*
Posted by Iwillsurvive on April 5, 2007, at 1:10:54
In reply to I'm trying hard to not get upset, posted by Deneb on April 5, 2007, at 0:44:46
Deneb, your amazing :-)
Posted by Deneb on April 5, 2007, at 2:05:04
In reply to Re: I'm trying hard to not get upset, posted by Iwillsurvive on April 5, 2007, at 1:10:54
((((((IWS)))))))
Thanks iws
You're very encouraging. I always feel better when you encourage me. :-) Thanks for doing that.
I'm actually not upset at all right now. I got over it. :-)
Right now I'm search for cell phones. It's very fun. :-)
I should go to bed soon though.
I love you iws.
Deneb*
Posted by PhytoEstrogen on April 5, 2007, at 9:53:10
In reply to I'm trying hard to not get upset, posted by Deneb on April 5, 2007, at 0:44:46
It sounds to me like you may struggle with emotional regulation. Like suddenly feeling hopeless and then hopeful and back again. Are you able to tell which situations can give you comfort when you are feeling down? Are you able to hang on to the good feelings when you are feeling up?
You sound like a nice person who has a lot of insight about herself, but maybe your emotions take you on a rollercoaster ride on which you feel out of control. I hope you can figure out a way to pull the brakes when you need to.
:P
Posted by Racer on April 5, 2007, at 16:03:24
In reply to I'm trying hard to not get upset, posted by Deneb on April 5, 2007, at 0:44:46
> Wish me luck. I'm trying to break maladaptive ways of interacting. I want to be a better person.
Deneb, you don't have to be a "better person" -- you just have to learn that Deneb is Good Enough, just exactly as she is. That doesn't mean that learning more adaptive coping strategies isn't a good thing, since they are likely to lead to a happier Deneb, but I ache for you when I see you equating that to being somehow a "better person." There's nothing at all wrong with you, just as you are, except that you haven't yet perfected those new coping skills. You're working on it.
Besides, you can't be perfect, you know? You'd show me up. ;-)
>
> I will cry, but I'll try my hardest to say happy things. Me being upset upsets others, so I will try to be happy.If you're unhappy, there's no reason to try to say happy things, Deneb. That's not genuine, not authentic, and it doesn't do anyone any good. The trick I think you're working on learning, though, is how to use your voice more effectively to communicate your distress. And you're working on it, and doing well.
>
> I have to think about other people.
>
> Deneb*Deneb, you don't *have* to do anything. And if you mean you have to think about pleasing others, or getting approval from others, or anything like that, then I don't think you do need to do it. I think you'd be happier, though, if you could figure out who you are. I get the feeling you are kinda like a chameleon, trying to blend in with other people, in order to get their approval, or feel close to them. That's not going to make you happy, though. I think getting to know yourself would do a lot more to making you happier.
And that includes exactly what you've done here -- AGAIN! You've said you're upset, and that you're working on doing something about it. Congratulations! And guess what? You've gotten some nice responses, from IWS and PhytoEstrogen. (I won't presume that this is a nice response.)
You done good, Deneb. You're living up to your name.
Posted by scratchpad on April 5, 2007, at 17:30:57
In reply to Re: I'm trying hard to not get upset, posted by Racer on April 5, 2007, at 16:03:24
What usually happens with me is that I notice what happened - the circumstances of what has upset me, what triggered my response, whether it was out of proportion to the situation (hello! usually it is) - well after the event. And then I get upset about *that*. I Should Have done this, that, or the other thing. But, it is what it is. If I get upset, then I'm upset, and it's crazy-making for me to get more worked up over it, if that makes any sense.
What I'm working towards is noticing what I'm feeling as it's happening. Not to judge my reactions, but to notice, "wow, Scratchie, you are freaking out again!" It's OK to feel what we feel, it really is. My therapist tells me this all the time, and I am starting to believe her.
This approach is actually helping me a lot.
take care, Deneb.Scratchpad
This is the end of the thread.
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