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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 6, 2007, at 15:06:50
1. I think I finally understand and mostly beleive that emotions DO actually pass most of the time. Some keep comming back at me, but it does eventually ease up.
2. Recognizing when I am triggered, and realizing, yes I am triggered and its setting off a cascade of emots. But realizing its a trigger and its OLD stuff, and that IN FACT this body IS safe at this time. And that the emots.. -see #1
3. I'm not afraid of SI, I don't beat on myself if I do. Same with dissoc, if I having a time of it, I just ride it out, sometimes its even fun, like I pretend I high or something.
3. I am better able to repress stuff and keep it under wraps...(however I think I getting an ulcer...)But at least I not flipping out.
4. I am DOING. Getting stuff done, forcing myself to do stuff, and it feels good to get stuff done.
5. I am reaching out some to others...
6. I am recognizing when I am getting stinking thinking.I am doing all these good things.
Good IWS.
Its SO stupid however that I miss my T.
I can only post intermittently.
Sorry if I am not supportive.
I am finding it hard to be on babble.
My gut hurts.
Posted by wishingstar on March 6, 2007, at 16:29:51
In reply to I am doing good things...., posted by Iwillsurvive on March 6, 2007, at 15:06:50
That is so wonderful! I know things arent perfect yet, but you have taken some huge steps in the right direction. You're making a lot of progress and I'm really impressed by you.
It's not at all stupid to miss your T. We all go through it. She's a big support for you right now, and it makes perfect sense that you'd miss her.
If babble is hard for you right now, it's okay to stay away. You dont have to be sorry. I think we all just want you to do what's best for you, and for you to be happy.
((((iwillsurvive))))
Posted by littleone on March 6, 2007, at 21:13:59
In reply to I am doing good things...., posted by Iwillsurvive on March 6, 2007, at 15:06:50
You are so smart. These are very good things to do. I'm so glad you are doing good things.
> 1. I think I finally understand and mostly beleive that emotions DO actually pass most of the time. Some keep comming back at me, but it does eventually ease up.
This one is so hard to believe - especially when you're feeling real bad/upset/whatever. But once you do start to really believe it inside, I think it helps a lot.
> 2. Recognizing when I am triggered, and realizing, yes I am triggered and its setting off a cascade of emots. But realizing its a trigger and its OLD stuff, and that IN FACT this body IS safe at this time. And that the emots.. -see #1
Very good thing. recogising what's happening to you is very very good. And knowing what to say to yourself to help is also very very good.
> 3. I'm not afraid of SI, I don't beat on myself if I do. Same with dissoc, if I having a time of it, I just ride it out, sometimes its even fun, like I pretend I high or something.
Important to try not to do it (very important), but if it does happen, it doesn't mean you're a bad person. You just had a bit of a stumble and you try to learn from that stumble and keep on trying in future.
> 3. I am better able to repress stuff and keep it under wraps...(however I think I getting an ulcer...)But at least I not flipping out.
I'm not sure if this is a good one or not. I can really understand why you would put it down as a good thing. And while your T's away, repressing probably is better than digging. But in the long term, a gooder thing would probably be that you're better able to *not* repress. But that can be scary.
> 4. I am DOING. Getting stuff done, forcing myself to do stuff, and it feels good to get stuff done.
Yeah, another good one. I found that I was better at focusing on and doing work once I had better learnt to comfort my young part and manage my emotions a bit better. But then I also work better when I've cut right off from everything and I'm on autopilot. Why are you doing stuff better now?
> 5. I am reaching out some to others...
You do really good at reaching out to others. You blitz me in that department. I've really isolated a lot lately. So babble is really really hard. But when I read your post ... I just wanted to reach back to you so you know you're heard.
> 6. I am recognizing when I am getting stinking thinking.
he he stinking thinking is funny.
> I am doing all these good things.
> Good IWS.I'm glad you can see some of the steps forward you've made. That really helps a lot as you keep going forward. Helps with your hope. Hope is so precious.
> Its SO stupid however that I miss my T.
No it's not. She's so special. Of course you would miss her. I miss my T as soon as I finish a session.
I have a teenager part that calls a lot of things I wish/dream/think/feel DUMB. Lots of stuff is DUMB. And I've learnt that it's usually the wishes/dreams/thinkings/feelings of my young part that teenager thinks is REALLY DUMB.
It's helped me to remind the teenager that they may think it's DUMB, but they are real wishes/dreams/thinkings/feelings of the young part and we are trying to respect parts. I think that makes it a little easier for the teenager. It means she doesn't have to agree with those wishes/etc, she just has to acknowledge that those wishes/etc are held by one (or more) parts of us.
Does that makes sense?
I hope that doesn't sound too dumb. I don't like talking about parts. I think people think bad things about me when I do that. I'm pretty sure you won't, but I get worried that other people do.
> I can only post intermittently.
> Sorry if I am not supportive.
> I am finding it hard to be on babble.
> My gut hurts.Just do what you can. Lots is okay. Little bits is okay. Hiding is okay. You need to do what's best for you at the moment.
I'm glad you could see your good things today.
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 6, 2007, at 22:56:13
In reply to Re: I am doing good things...., posted by wishingstar on March 6, 2007, at 16:29:51
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 6, 2007, at 23:06:03
In reply to Re: I am doing good things.... » Iwillsurvive, posted by littleone on March 6, 2007, at 21:13:59
Thanks for reaching out.
Thanks for that post to me.
I think it took alot to do it, I am grateful and honoured by your writings to me.
And delighted.
Good words, you wrote good words.
Parts are OK. Noboddy seems to mind mine round here. Sometimes I get wingy, but people are still nice to me.
I don't mind parts, and am honoured you share with me.
And what you said made perfect sense, and I am delighted that your are able to get teen to listen and heed. Sounds like your parts are learning to work together better. Thats GREAT! Less conflict is better.
Take care
Posted by littleone on March 7, 2007, at 19:41:08
In reply to Thx Littleone » littleone, posted by Iwillsurvive on March 6, 2007, at 23:06:03
I’m glad my post helped you. It’s good for me to try and reach back. Pulls me out of hiding a little bit.
I know people are very accepting of you and your parts. But I have trouble extending that to me. I get so convinced that people are saying horrible things about me behind my back. I know that’s an echo from the past… but it’s so hard to trust the world when it’s always been so cruel in the past.
I feel safe talking with you.
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 7, 2007, at 22:12:01
In reply to Re: Thx Littleone » Iwillsurvive, posted by littleone on March 7, 2007, at 19:41:08
> I’m glad my post helped you. It’s good for me to try and reach back. Pulls me out of hiding a little bit.
**Good :)
>
> I know people are very accepting of you and your parts. But I have trouble extending that to me. I get so convinced that people are saying horrible things about me behind my back. I know that’s an echo from the past… but it’s so hard to trust the world when it’s always been so cruel in the past.**Yeah, there is LOTS of cruelty in this world. Lots. But there's good too. Trust. Thats a big word. Hard to trust. But my T says that people WILL hurt me, its the way of the world. They can't hurt me really in certain ways, but their words can hurt. And lotsa times people don't even mean to hurt, it unthinking. I am dealing better with fresh hurts. I know I am not bad now. I am trying very hard to be good. And lotsa times if someone hurts me or is mean to me, I just realize that lotsa times its just a reflection of THEIR inner pain, and really doesn't have a whole ton to do with me personally. At least I am TRYING.
>
> I feel safe talking with you.
>
**Thank you. That is so huge. I am so honored by that. I don't know what to say. Just huge. Thank you. I not saying it well, but mebbe you know what I am trying to say.
Take care.
Posted by littleone on March 8, 2007, at 19:52:30
In reply to Re: Thx Littleone » littleone, posted by Iwillsurvive on March 7, 2007, at 22:12:01
> I feel safe talking with you.
>
**Thank you. That is so huge. I am so honored by that. I don't know what to say. Just huge. Thank you. I not saying it well, but mebbe you know what I am trying to say.I know that realising it was huge for me. So I can understand that hearing it is huge for you.
As an aside, I must admit that I’ve had trouble adjusting to your new name. Not because there’s anything wrong with the name you picked, but rather because I feel threatened by environmental changes. I think the name change threatens my inner landscape rather than an external environment.
I remember one time my T and I were talking about feeling threatened by changes to my environment and the very next session I turned up to find that all the furniture in the waiting room had been moved around. Very coincidental timing! The changes really freaked me out, but it was good in a way. My T knew I’d be freaked before I even got there, so he was real ready to talk through it and it helped that we had also just been talking about it the session beforehand.
Anyway, I think I’m getting used to your new name now. And I think that it was a really smart idea to change it. It’s actually like an affirmation that you will be reminded of pretty often. Very good idea to put it in place now when you are in need of extra encouragement.
Yes, you will survive!
Posted by Iwillsurvive on March 8, 2007, at 21:07:11
In reply to Re: Thx Littleone » Iwillsurvive, posted by littleone on March 8, 2007, at 19:52:30
Yeah, I still adjusting to my new name, still startles me to see it.
Its definately wierd. I too have a hard time adjusting to name changes of others. Mebbe cuz on net that is all we see of the person in a way, its like their name is what they look like or something.
The last time I saw my T before she was going to airport, I was gonna get up my nerve and hug her. It was outside and I feel safer outside, but the straw that made it impossible was her VEST!!!! She had on a big puffy black vest, and it seems SO silly, but I was afraid of the VEST! Like it would smother me or something, now HOW dumb is THAT! So I didn't hug. Oh well. Maybe some other time. Maybe.
So I guess I get affected by diff things too.
Seems silly to me in retrospect, but at the time it feels so truly dangerous. Weird.
Nice to see you talking to us babblers :) are you feeling OK so far about it?
Sometimes I talk alot and freak myself out and run away!
Got to put kids to bed.
Take care.
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