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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by GeneralSchlong on December 2, 2006, at 15:59:27
Ok first off, yes, I will change my name but I haven't signed on for awhile and I haven't figured out to do that yet. Do I have to register all over again to change it or can I just change it?
Secondly, Im really angry and frustrated over my shrink and its going to be really hard to write this without cursing in it.
Ok so I have a lot of crap/issues going on that I need help with. A few years ago when I was about 16, I went to a therapist who was no good but I continued going for almost 2 years. It was a total waste and I hardly revealed a thing to her. Didnt like her.
So I've finally decided to get back into therapy and give it another go. I went for one session with one guy who I can go on an on about in terms of how rude and unethical he was. And then finally-about 3 months ago- I started going to this other therapist who was PERFECT. He was basically everything I was looking for, and surprised me with how much he "got it" and all that. He's also really good looking.
Anyway, the first few sessions we started on time and ended, you know, 45 minutes or so later. Everything going well between him and I blah blah blah. All of a sudden, starting a few weeks ago, he starts taking me 10-15 minutes late and then ending several minutes early! Like SEVERAL TIMES WEEK AFTER WEEK HE'S BEEN DOING THIS. Not only that, but he does this even when he has no patient before me and hes just on his break. To top it off, EVERYTIME since the day i started, he calls me in and then does about 5 minutes of paperwork at his desk before starting the session- BUT TAKES THOSE 5 MINTUES OUT OF MY TIME!!!! So I have a once a week session with him thats supposed to be 45 minutes that ends up being at most half an hour long everytime. Hes attentive during the sessions and says a lot of helpful things and otherwise it seems like hes caring and not at all robotic and cold like a lot of other therapists, but I wonder if he's too laid back or if hes just doing that because hes a rude (bad word) who just wants to get the session over quickly and get the paycheck. I didn't see that in him when I started, but its possible he just flew over my radar.
I should also add that these last 2-3 weeks have been VERY HARD on me with a lot of im trying to deal with. I couldnt wait to start the session and he still started late and ended early leaving me with only 30 minutes. AND I WAS CRYING and told him I may need a double session. Who knows, maybe I wouldnt need the damn double session if he just gave me my full session.
You know, I NEVER ONCE called this guy outside of session (even if I really felt I needed to), I don't stalk/harass him, I pay him on time, and I never complain about him...so I'm a pretty good patient. And he mentioned to me that he knows im going/have gone through so much and that he doesn't know how I do it and that he can tell im going crazy inside and out from everything. So for him to know that and still behave this way really upsets me beyond belief. But if i cancel this one Im not doing therapy anymore. In the past 3 months ive revealed tons to him and its been painful and hard and i cant do it again, especially not with some therapist like ive had in the past. Im still surprised that ive found one that clicks and understands with me well and he really is great in every other way but the time thing- but dammit that hurts and really makes me angry. Oh its also stupid of him to do this considering that, among other things, I have issues that involve neglect, abuse, etc and have had tons of bad relationships where ive been effed over. And he knows i almost refused to go back to therapy because I hate social worker/therapist types and have always found them phony due to several personal experiences. so id like to thank him for once again confirming what i had already believed.
Posted by Dinah on December 2, 2006, at 16:10:18
In reply to Really angry, posted by GeneralSchlong on December 2, 2006, at 15:59:27
My therapist did what I considered making up time on me. He'd start late, but finish on time. I was somewhat resentful.
In the end I just talked to him. I asked him how long a session was, what constituted the start, and what constituted the end. Then I told him that I felt like he was making up time on me, and it was making me angry. I still have to remind him now and again..
But not it isn't really a problem in our relationship. If I tell him it isn't time to stop yet, he sits back and prepares to listen. Of course, that ruins it and it ends anyway, but he remembers for some time after that. And he teases me about making up time, or I tease him. But it's a friendly thing, and I don't get so angry because I just tell him as it comes up.
If you wish to change your name, you just register like you did the first time, then announce on the Administration board that you used to post under a different name. It's not necessary to reveal the prior name unless you wish to.
Good luck. It sounds like a good relationship overall. In my experience, a few good frank but friendly discussions can make good relationships even better.
Posted by madeline on December 2, 2006, at 18:53:04
In reply to Really angry, posted by GeneralSchlong on December 2, 2006, at 15:59:27
Yep, it's time to talk to him about it. His response should be appropriate to your request and I think you are entitled to an apology for his lack of respect for your time.
If he fails to be responsive, then this relationship might not work, but my gut feeling is he will be happy to see you speak up for yourself.
Also when things get really intense with my therapy I really make my T tow the line.
After i've have shared so much with this person and been so vulnerable in their presence, I get very afraid and just look for anything as an excuse to bolt and get out of the pain.
I don't know if you are like me, but I would make sure your T doesn't do anything to give you that excuse.
Maddie
Posted by tryingtobewise on December 2, 2006, at 18:56:57
In reply to Really angry, posted by GeneralSchlong on December 2, 2006, at 15:59:27
I agree with Dinah that you should definitely bring it up. If you aren't comfortable asking directly maybe you could sort of joke about it like, "I was prepared for a 45 minute hour but notice mine has shrunk to a 30 minute hour...is this a new standard I should know about?"
Good luck General S. This would really pi$$ me off too.
Posted by muffled on December 3, 2006, at 0:37:58
In reply to Re: Really angry, posted by tryingtobewise on December 2, 2006, at 18:56:57
Yup, I'd be very angry too.
I agree with what thew others ahve said and that you should bring it up. Because if you don't it will ruin everything. It should give you a good indicator of his ways.
I thot most T was 50 mins? But mebbe I wrong. Yeah, he definately seems rude to me......
Sorry this is happening to you.
Muffled
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