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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LadyBug on September 14, 2006, at 0:33:13
How many of you have a certain day and time that is set a side in your T's appointment book?
I do because of my work schedule and her schedule. I have to leave work early on the days that I go see her. When ever I have something come up and either don't want to go or can't go, she then tires to accomadate me. Also, when she has something come up she usually tells me in advance. Last week she made an obligation at the time of our appointment. It pissed me off. She wanted me to come in an hour earlier. I told her I already leave work enough and I can't keep doing it as it doesn't make me feel responsible as an employee, even though my work is pretty flexible.
I haven't seen her for 3 weeks now, and wonder if I really want to go to my appointment I have tomorrow. She will be gone again next Thursday and I know she's going to ask me to come in at a different time. I don't like change and I don't like to change my appointment time or day. It feels like if she can't see me on our regular time then screw it, I don't want to see her. I know I'm being childlike. But it fells like rejection to me. If you don't take our time into consideration then why should I?
Am I being a beast about this? When I tell her I don't want to come, she offers me a different appointment. When she tells me she can't keep our regular appointment, oh well, sorry.
I'm feeling crazy about this. I guess too, I don't like her to go away. I've always asked or she has told me where she is going. I need to keep in my mind where she is. This week she was out of her office from Monday until later today. I don't care where she was. Next week she will be gone again and I don't want to know where she is. I feel like our connection has been damaged over the last few months and I don't know if I want to try to work through it or just tell her, "Ya know what? I think we are in the process of termination sooner than I had planned."
I've paid her lots of money and taken lots of time to work with her. We owe each other a certain amount of consideration. I'm just onary I guess.
I would love to call and cancel tommorrow or even better just not show up and let her wonder where I am? What is up with me? It hurts me that she changed 2 of our appointments in the last few weeks and then she is going again next week to who knows where so why should I go this week? I don't owe her anything?
I'm venting, obviously. For those of you who don't know, I've been seeing her more than 9 years. We do have a good working relationship and I know 90% of this is all about me and my issues. I just want her to care about me, and I know she does but then why does she leave me? Childhood issues............
LadyBug
Posted by gardenergirl on September 14, 2006, at 15:04:46
In reply to Change In Appointments?, posted by LadyBug on September 14, 2006, at 0:33:13
That would really bug me, too. I have a standing appt. He's had to change it a few times when something out of his control came up. I've had to change it before, too. And since it's on Mondays, we have to accomodate holidays, too.
But to just schedule something in my slot that could be scheduled some other time, or if not, without at least running it by me (not that I'd say no, probably), would be upsetting.
gg
Posted by Dinah on September 14, 2006, at 18:15:23
In reply to Change In Appointments?, posted by LadyBug on September 14, 2006, at 0:33:13
I've at best only ever had a semi-official time. We arrange it week by week. He never tells me why he wants to do it at another time, but as you saw, I was pretty miffed when he just gave the spot to someone else.
Maybe it's something that can't be done at another time?
I understand about wanting to pull away. My therapist asked me today why I didn't call him when I started having trouble Tuesday. I told him that I didn't want to get too dependent on him again because he didn't mind leaving me, and if he didn't mind then he would eventually.
He laughed and said that I have a funny way of thinking.
It seemed reasonable to me. :(
But...
You've seen her nine years and she's important to you. I think more than anything what eleven years has earned me in my relationship with my therapist is the right to be honest, and to hear honesty, in what we feel about each other. And vice versa. Which means going to the session to fuss. :)
Posted by LadyBug on September 14, 2006, at 20:05:57
In reply to Change In Appointments?, posted by LadyBug on September 14, 2006, at 0:33:13
I went to my appointment and I guess I'm glad I did. I told her how I was feeling about her making another obligation during "our" time and then her expecting me to make accomadations to see her at a different time. I told her I don't like change and if I can't count on our time being available to us both then it's ok to skip a week or whatever. I would rather do that than have her squish me in her schedule somewhere. Aren't I more important than that? I know I'm important to her. And I think she's pretty aware that she's important to me. I will now see her in 2 weeks. I didn't ask where she was this week and I told her I didn't care where she is next week. And I don't. I do have to find a way to not be so bitter towards everything in my life. It's so hard when thingsat home are such a struggle right now. I hate my husband with every fiber of my being. OOPS, sorry for the negative truth.
I'm so glad I have a journal to write in, cuz I have a butt load of writing to do. I've got a lot of stress right now! I will take care of me first, then my girls, and to he** with the rest of the people in my life.
Thanks for reading, my babble friends. This place is good for me because I know at least some of you understand what it's like in some way or another.
LadyBug
Posted by Daisym on September 14, 2006, at 23:59:48
In reply to Re: Change In Appointments?, posted by LadyBug on September 14, 2006, at 20:05:57
I think we all get territorial around "our" times. I'm changing my schedule with my therapist but I still told him that if and when he schedules someone into "my" time, I don't want to know. It will hurt. And yet, I have another time, so whose slot did I take?
*sigh* Sometims I hate therapy.
Posted by LadyBug on September 15, 2006, at 7:18:50
In reply to Re: Change In Appointments? » LadyBug, posted by Daisym on September 14, 2006, at 23:59:48
Whose spot did I take? That's a good point Daisy.
I just hate the fact that I didn't see her the past 2 weeks, I went yesterday and now I wait 2 more weeks to go again. I told her I wouldn't call her unless I find my husband dead or something, ya like that will happen? (wishful)
I'm still grateful for my journal and babble.
LadyBug
This is the end of the thread.
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