Posted by LadyBug on September 14, 2006, at 0:33:13
How many of you have a certain day and time that is set a side in your T's appointment book?
I do because of my work schedule and her schedule. I have to leave work early on the days that I go see her. When ever I have something come up and either don't want to go or can't go, she then tires to accomadate me. Also, when she has something come up she usually tells me in advance. Last week she made an obligation at the time of our appointment. It pissed me off. She wanted me to come in an hour earlier. I told her I already leave work enough and I can't keep doing it as it doesn't make me feel responsible as an employee, even though my work is pretty flexible.
I haven't seen her for 3 weeks now, and wonder if I really want to go to my appointment I have tomorrow. She will be gone again next Thursday and I know she's going to ask me to come in at a different time. I don't like change and I don't like to change my appointment time or day. It feels like if she can't see me on our regular time then screw it, I don't want to see her. I know I'm being childlike. But it fells like rejection to me. If you don't take our time into consideration then why should I?
Am I being a beast about this? When I tell her I don't want to come, she offers me a different appointment. When she tells me she can't keep our regular appointment, oh well, sorry.
I'm feeling crazy about this. I guess too, I don't like her to go away. I've always asked or she has told me where she is going. I need to keep in my mind where she is. This week she was out of her office from Monday until later today. I don't care where she was. Next week she will be gone again and I don't want to know where she is. I feel like our connection has been damaged over the last few months and I don't know if I want to try to work through it or just tell her, "Ya know what? I think we are in the process of termination sooner than I had planned."
I've paid her lots of money and taken lots of time to work with her. We owe each other a certain amount of consideration. I'm just onary I guess.
I would love to call and cancel tommorrow or even better just not show up and let her wonder where I am? What is up with me? It hurts me that she changed 2 of our appointments in the last few weeks and then she is going again next week to who knows where so why should I go this week? I don't owe her anything?
I'm venting, obviously. For those of you who don't know, I've been seeing her more than 9 years. We do have a good working relationship and I know 90% of this is all about me and my issues. I just want her to care about me, and I know she does but then why does she leave me? Childhood issues............
LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:685775
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060911/msgs/685775.html