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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on September 5, 2006, at 22:58:24
I sent my T a fax saying I unnattach from her.
Cuz I said I thot I might be getting attached.
But attach is BAD.
So my 'Nasty' is getting upset, cuz I been lax.
Attachment only causes pain.
T attach is WORSE, cuz they know stuff bout you.
I have exposed my gut to my T by saying mebbe I attached.
I MUST protect.
I so confused.
Posted by ElaineM on September 5, 2006, at 23:41:47
In reply to T attachment, posted by muffled on September 5, 2006, at 22:58:24
Muff, it's pretty brave for anyone to say that they are attached to another. Scary -- it's kinda like putting the ball in their court. I don't think attachment is bad -- at least not the right kind, which I think is what others experience with their Ts.
I am glad I met LadyT. I'm glad I felt attached to her. And that's not to say I don't still ache because she's gone -- because our relationship, as it was, is gone. I do, alot. I think with all attachments there is always gonna also be some pain somewhere, it's just that with the good attachments the positive feelings and the good stuff will end up ultimately outweighing any possible hurt.
It is my attachment to you (and babblers) that gives me strength and keeps me going. But it still feels risky to put yourself at the mercy of someone else's judgement. I suppose you judge the person then by how they've handled "knowing you" in the past. I don't know much about her, do you think your T has been accepting that way before?
Sorry, Muff, my eyes are starting to droop.
Thinking of you, with hugs, EL
Posted by llrrrpp on September 6, 2006, at 21:58:28
In reply to Re: T attachment, posted by ElaineM on September 5, 2006, at 23:41:47
Mufflie,
it's okay to be attached. It's scary, but it's rewarding.Attached is like infants with their mommies. It's a beautiful thing.
Attached is like me and my cat. It's sweet, and I need her, and she needs me. She's not afraid to flop down on the ground right in front of me and put her "happy feet" in the air. I could step on her, but I don't. I rub her tummy.
the only way to get some love is to show some attachment.
Don't worry. Attachment is not the same as dependence. I'm dependent on my mailman, but I don't give a crap about whether he loves me or not. I don't even know if it's a man or a woman or a person.
Attachment is the happy, healthy, natural variant of dependency. Attachment is like a loop, where each part completes the other. Dependency is like hanging from something. It can't go on forever, and it doesn't feel right.
It's okay. don't be scared muffled. This is good. Don't fight it to hard.
-ll
Posted by muffled on September 7, 2006, at 0:03:41
In reply to Re: T attachment, posted by ElaineM on September 5, 2006, at 23:41:47
> Muff, it's pretty brave for anyone to say that they are attached to another. Scary -- it's kinda like putting the ball in their court. I don't think attachment is bad -- at least not the right kind, which I think is what others experience with their Ts.
**Ya, its scarey.
>
> I am glad I met LadyT. I'm glad I felt attached to her. And that's not to say I don't still ache because she's gone -- because our relationship, as it was, is gone. I do, alot. I think with all attachments there is always gonna also be some pain somewhere, it's just that with the good attachments the positive feelings and the good stuff will end up ultimately outweighing any possible hurt.**THATS what I need to remember.
>
> It is my attachment to you (and babblers) that gives me strength and keeps me going. But it still feels risky to put yourself at the mercy of someone else's judgement. I suppose you judge the person then by how they've handled "knowing you" in the past. I don't know much about her, do you think your T has been accepting that way before?**Ya, my T is pretty straight up I guess. So far as I know anyways, but you can never know really I suppose....
>
> Sorry, Muff, my eyes are starting to droop.
> Thinking of you, with hugs, EL**:-) thanks for hugs El
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by muffled on September 7, 2006, at 0:12:16
In reply to Re: T attachment, posted by llrrrpp on September 6, 2006, at 21:58:28
> Mufflie,
> it's okay to be attached. It's scary, but it's rewarding.***Its mindbendingly terrifying. It goes against all I ever been for as long as I can remember. But I tired of being alone and w/o nurture.
>
> Attached is like infants with their mommies. It's a beautiful thing.**CAN be, but isn't always. But when it is, yes, its beautiful.
>
> Attached is like me and my cat. It's sweet, and I need her, and she needs me. She's not afraid to flop down on the ground right in front of me and put her "happy feet" in the air. I could step on her, but I don't. I rub her tummy.***Yeah, that other loaded word....Trust.
>
> the only way to get some love is to show some attachment.***Can you explain further on this one?
>
> Don't worry. Attachment is not the same as dependence. I'm dependent on my mailman, but I don't give a crap about whether he loves me or not. I don't even know if it's a man or a woman or a person.***Good point, excellent point, fantastic point.
Attach DOES NOT equal dependance. I like that one.
>
> Attachment is the happy, healthy, natural variant of dependency. Attachment is like a loop, where each part completes the other. Dependency is like hanging from something. It can't go on forever, and it doesn't feel right.***I like the loop thing. I like visual descriptions. I seem to work best with visual stuff.
>
> It's okay. don't be scared muffled. This is good. Don't fight it to hard.**Part of me is so freaking terrified.
Part of me wants it so bad.
Part of me is on high alert protective status.
I TRYING not to fight it. I trying to explain to T.
I do it with faxes. But she better w/face to face.
I bout had it w/me.
Goto do this.
Thanks LL,
Take care,
Muffy
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