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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by All Done on August 31, 2006, at 17:23:51
Yesterday, I was explaining to my T how difficult it is for me to pick up the phone and call him even if I'm in a really bad place. I've only called him a handful of times in three years without a specific reason like rescheduling.
He asked if having his email address would help. I'm not sure, but maybe it would. I told him that, so he gave me his address. Then, at the end of the session, he told me if I'm feeling nervous or like I would be bothering him too much if I called or emailed, I should ignore those feelings and contact him.
Of course, I'm feeling calmer today. He has a way of helping me with that and I don't even realize it's happening. But, I still have questions. What kinds of things would be acceptable for using email? Should I expect or not expect a reply? Should I ask for a reply? I think I have some ideas of how I might use it, if the need arises, but I'd like to hear what you all think.
I know some of you use email. Do you make it a regular or frequent form of communication? Do you write a lot or keep them short? Do you still call? More or less frequently?
Thanks for your thoughts, everyone.
Laurie
Posted by muffled on August 31, 2006, at 18:29:29
In reply to Email protocol, posted by All Done on August 31, 2006, at 17:23:51
> Yesterday, I was explaining to my T how difficult it is for me to pick up the phone and call him even if I'm in a really bad place. I've only called him a handful of times in three years without a specific reason like rescheduling.
***Yeah, its tough isn't it. Even when I HAVE called, I'm usu. so paralyzed I can't talk, or I'm stoned and not terribly rational.....
>
> He asked if having his email address would help. I'm not sure, but maybe it would. I told him that, so he gave me his address. Then, at the end of the session, he told me if I'm feeling nervous or like I would be bothering him too much if I called or emailed, I should ignore those feelings and contact him.***WHOAH!!!!! Nice T !!!!
>
> Of course, I'm feeling calmer today. He has a way of helping me with that and I don't even realize it's happening. But, I still have questions. What kinds of things would be acceptable for using email? Should I expect or not expect a reply? Should I ask for a reply? I think I have some ideas of how I might use it, if the need arises, but I'd like to hear what you all think.***Yeah, my T keeps me grounded somehow. Dunno why either.
It might be VERY good to have some basic guidelines in place right away to save misunderstandings.
Eg. T don't reply unless specifically asked to.
Restrict # and length of e-mails, cuz they DON'T replace therapy, and sometimes if you've e-mailed, somehow it feels like somethings been dealt with but really hasn't.
I use faxes as a way to say stuff I would normally not be able to bring myself to say. Then we talk about the faxes at the next session. Works pretty good. Though we can never get thru it all each time. Which can be a little frustrating. But I've learned it'll all come around in good time.
>
> I know some of you use email. Do you make it a regular or frequent form of communication? Do you write a lot or keep them short? Do you still call? More or less frequently?***I use fax. Usu. one or 2 a week. I try to keep it to 2 pages at most. I rarely call to talk cuz I freeze up anyhow. Pretty much have to be stoned to call.
I've got a couple of nice voicemail messages saved that my T has left me. Sometimes(more often than I would like to admit!!!)I listen to them, and that helps calm me.
One of the voicemails is positively inspired and I love it, and it helps me lots.
Mebbe you could have your T leave you a nice voicemail to have?
>
> Thanks for your thoughts, everyone.**Yeah, you take care
Muffled
Posted by llrrrpp on August 31, 2006, at 18:48:12
In reply to Email protocol, posted by All Done on August 31, 2006, at 17:23:51
Hi AllDone,
I hve emailed T 4 times in my life. 3 times in the last week.once was about scheduling.
I've only gotten one response, so for me it's like writing something and sending it in a bottle somewhere where I know it will never come back to hurt me.
but this last one. is pretty scary. i guess im not in danger. let t not get involved, but i would appreciate his advice, 'cause he said a lot of Psychology Things that are bouncing around in my head and messing things up. and i can't feel emotions and feel really disconnected frm my conscoisness and life right now.
wait. this isan't about me. wll. yeah. email him. everyone is different. do your thing. what's the worst that can happen. guilt? you've alredy got that. no acknowledgement of your e-mail? well, if you never send it, you won't get acknowslktment either
allD i gotta go now. we meet sometime, yeah. outside the vanilla screens. send me a vibe that will connect my typing hands to my brain. not so cooredingated right nwot
chirping birdies and polar bears? and an ice cream?
per e-mail?
chirp grr
-ll
Posted by sunnydays on August 31, 2006, at 19:47:03
In reply to Re: Email protocol » All Done, posted by llrrrpp on August 31, 2006, at 18:48:12
I write to my T and TON. I'm so afraid I write too much, but he keeps telling me to write as much as I need to, even if it means 40 emails a day. I have a lot of trouble talking in sessions, but I can write and write and write. I've been writing once every day or every other day for months now.
sunnydays
Posted by Poet on September 1, 2006, at 10:12:08
In reply to Email protocol, posted by All Done on August 31, 2006, at 17:23:51
Hi Laurie,
My T prefers that I call her rather than email her, but she gave me her email address without me asking, so I know it's okay.
I email her when I have something I need to tell her, but I know I won't tell her or read to her in a session. Kind of an instant version of pass her the note as I run out the door. I've sent her links to websites(not this one!)too.I always get a reply, even if it's we'll talk about this on Thursday.
I hate calling or emailing her between sessions. She keeps telling me I am not a pest, but then again she may change that opinion because I've called her twice this week and she's on vacation. Though I did say she does not have to call me back I just needed to vent. Maybe I'll email her...
Poet
Posted by All Done on September 1, 2006, at 16:48:32
In reply to Re: Email protocol, posted by muffled on August 31, 2006, at 18:29:29
> ***Yeah, its tough isn't it. Even when I HAVE called, I'm usu. so paralyzed I can't talk, or I'm stoned and not terribly rational.....
I always think about *exactly* what I'm going to say, and then I can only get out about a third of it. He keeps telling me that his voicemail will record for quite awhile, so I don't have to keep it real short. I just get too nervous.
> ***WHOAH!!!!! Nice T !!!!I think so! ;)
> ***Yeah, my T keeps me grounded somehow. Dunno why either.Just his voice helps to calm me and I have mustered up the courage to call his voicemail just to hear him when I know he won't be around. Umm, at about 4 a.m. :(
> It might be VERY good to have some basic guidelines in place right away to save misunderstandings.
> Eg. T don't reply unless specifically asked to.
> Restrict # and length of e-mails, cuz they DON'T replace therapy, and sometimes if you've e-mailed, somehow it feels like somethings been dealt with but really hasn't.
> I use faxes as a way to say stuff I would normally not be able to bring myself to say. Then we talk about the faxes at the next session. Works pretty good. Though we can never get thru it all each time. Which can be a little frustrating. But I've learned it'll all come around in good time.I love the idea of rules, but from experience, I'm fairly certain my T won't give any specifics to me. He likes to leave things open-ended. I once tried desperately to get him to set a number of calls that would be "too much" in between sessions. I was not doing very well and I was concerned that I'd end up calling a million times in between a Wednesday and a Saturday. All I could get out of him was, "I *can* tell you how many calls before Saturday is *not* enough." Then, he made a zero with his fingers.
> I've got a couple of nice voicemail messages saved that my T has left me. Sometimes(more often than I would like to admit!!!)I listen to them, and that helps calm me.
> One of the voicemails is positively inspired and I love it, and it helps me lots.Your T sounds pretty great. :)
> Mebbe you could have your T leave you a nice voicemail to have?He left me one message when I asked and told him that I would like to have one on my home voicemail because my cell deletes them. Then, there's one I saved when he called just to tell me he was thinking about me and he felt that was something I needed to hear from him at the time. I like that one. :)
Thanks, Muffled. It seems you've got things pretty set with your T in terms of between session communication. I'm glad to hear from you. :)
Posted by All Done on September 1, 2006, at 17:01:50
In reply to Re: Email protocol » All Done, posted by llrrrpp on August 31, 2006, at 18:48:12
> Hi AllDone,
> I hve emailed T 4 times in my life. 3 times in the last week.
>
> once was about scheduling.
>
> I've only gotten one response, so for me it's like writing something and sending it in a bottle somewhere where I know it will never come back to hurt me.> but this last one. is pretty scary. i guess im not in danger. let t not get involved, but i would appreciate his advice, 'cause he said a lot of Psychology Things that are bouncing around in my head and messing things up. and i can't feel emotions and feel really disconnected frm my conscoisness and life right now.
> wait. this isan't about me.
That's okay. It can be about you. I like talking. You know, even when it's not all about me. ;)
Are you feeling any better. It sounds like things have been pretty difficult for you recently.
I'm afraid I'm a little confused, though. Did your T respond to the latest email? Was he able to help? If you ever need to talk, just buzz me.
> wll. yeah. email him. everyone is different. do your thing. what's the worst that can happen. guilt? you've alredy got that. no acknowledgement of your e-mail? well, if you never send it, you won't get acknowslktment eitherGood point. :) I don't think I'd be afraid of asking for acknowledgement, if I felt I needed it. Just more afraid of what I would end up sounding like and what he'd think about whatever I said. Without seeing OR hearing him, it might be even more stressful. Ugh.
Thanks, ll. I'll email you soon.
(((((ll))))) - if you want them. :)
Laurie
Posted by All Done on September 1, 2006, at 17:05:20
In reply to Re: Email protocol, posted by sunnydays on August 31, 2006, at 19:47:03
> I write to my T and TON. I'm so afraid I write too much, but he keeps telling me to write as much as I need to, even if it means 40 emails a day. I have a lot of trouble talking in sessions, but I can write and write and write. I've been writing once every day or every other day for months now.
>
> sunnydaysSounds like you have a very understanding and kind T. Do you end up talking a bit during the session about what you've written? Does it help to start topics?
Thanks for...writing ;) sunnydays.
Take care,
Laurie
Posted by All Done on September 1, 2006, at 17:17:07
In reply to Re: Email protocol » All Done, posted by Poet on September 1, 2006, at 10:12:08
> Hi Laurie,
>
> My T prefers that I call her rather than email her, but she gave me her email address without me asking, so I know it's okay.I suspect my T would rather I call. Very early on, I brought in some things I wrote and he said he prefer I read them out loud as opposed to him reading them.
> I email her when I have something I need to tell her, but I know I won't tell her or read to her in a session. Kind of an instant version of pass her the note as I run out the door. I've sent her links to websites(not this one!)too.
>
> I always get a reply, even if it's we'll talk about this on Thursday.That's nice. I'd hate to be left hanging.
> I hate calling or emailing her between sessions. She keeps telling me I am not a pest, but then again she may change that opinion because I've called her twice this week and she's on vacation. Though I did say she does not have to call me back I just needed to vent. Maybe I'll email her...
>
> Poet
Once, I called my T and told him I was upset. He called back, but had to leave a message. We ended up playing phone tag during the day trying to schedule a time to talk. When I got home, he had left another message. I guess I was frustrated about playing phone tag, so I told him I was feeling better and he didn't we didn't need to talk. Two minutes later, I called back and said I really did need to talk, but I wouldn't be available until 9 or 9:30, so I wasn't sure what to do. He called at 9 and left a message for me to call him when I got home, he'd be up until 11. Then, he told me he was glad I called back and told him I needed to talk. Sigh. Talk about being a pest... :(It's difficult to need them so much. :(
I hope you're doing alright, ::::Poet:::: <---those are air hugs. Good luck with your job situation!
Laurie
P.S. Have you checked in to Camp Comfort?
Posted by Poet on September 1, 2006, at 23:18:13
In reply to Re: Email protocol » Poet, posted by All Done on September 1, 2006, at 17:17:07
Hi Laurie,
My T called me today. I am officially a pest in my own eyes anyway. Though I told her she didn't have to call me and didn't leave my number, so it's not like I demanded a call. I did appreciate her calling me, if you haven't seen the self esteem board I had a second job interview set up and got a call the day before saying not to come in they hired someone. I really did need to talk to her even though I feel bad that she's on vacation and probably wants to get away from clients and relax.
My T is the same way as yours about wanting me to read what I've written. I have to keep it folded up and hidden until I can drop it and dash. Also say don't bring that up as I run out the door. Poet the coward.
I suspect I'll be at Camp Comfort before the weekend is up.
Thank you for the air hugs. They are the best kind of hugs.
Poet
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